


Alternate Realities Vol 17. The Winter's Tale

by MARKSE



Series: HUMANS FAN FICTION - Reformatted Works for easier reading [13]
Category: Humans (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 12:29:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 54
Words: 53,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8979799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MARKSE/pseuds/MARKSE
Summary: It's November and cold. Very cold. Chris is still picking up broken synths for his little retirement business. A new neighbor and synth changes his life..





	1. Chapter 1

The car slowed outside the back of the smash club and skidded on a frozen puddle before coming to a halt. The engine stops. With rust slowly devouring the old Volvo estate its door opened with a loud creaking groan.

"I'll see what's available boy, you stay and guard the car."

As the elderly driver gets out his black lab jumps into the drivers seat and rests its front legs on the top of the steering wheel.

"Bark bark!"

"Yes, I know Jack, I know, make it a good one. Don't I always?"

He trudges through the snow to the skip the broken synths had been thrown in. Council recycle centres often had better quality synths but asked far too many questions, had too many people about and didn't open their gates late at night. People were normally glad to see the back of their rubbish. Synths were somehow different.

His little post retirement business was doing okay, recycling dead synths for charity shops and the like, firms with small or nonexistent budgets that couldn't afford the expensive designer mannequins. These synths were much more life like shape wise. They just needed a few touches with his air brush to make their faces look less human. The first ones he'd delivered had all come back, customers too spooked by the human like figures standing around the stores.

The old Blade Runner film had given him the inspiration, the makeup sprayed to look a bit like Pris.

Science Fiction was his favourite genre. You name it, he'd watched it. Doing a job with unsociable hours and a lot of sitting down waiting for the alarm bells to ring he'd got a lot of viewing time. He still loved it, just didn't get to watch anything new, he didn't have a TV, his old one broke with Freeview updating their service. His Blu-ray player had packed up the year before. The makeup had somehow done the trick, not spooked the customers even more. Maybe the shops having two or more styled in the same way had helped?

Just as he's reaching out to move the closest synth he hears movement from within the skip. He stands dead still. There's silence.

"Hello?"

No reply. A few seconds later a rat darts from a hole in the base out towards the drain at the side of the pavement.

"Don't go chewing a synth, their fluid won't do you any good! And you'll spoil my bounty."

He slowly works his way through them, where possible checking each for skin damage. The WAP people in this town might hate them, but at least they put them in with a standing position, not just thrown in randomly on top of each other. Maybe because they could pack more in before the skip was collected.

"My word! You're a beauty!" he looks at the synth third from last, "Why would anyone want to throw you away and not have you serviced? You must be a custom model, I've not seen your type before." he lifts her top, "Sorry dear, just need to know you're not too badly damaged, I know some of those WAP folk can get carried away. Good, no split skin there." he gently rocks her to the side, "Let's see.. all good on the back too."

He looks at the white jeans the synth was wearing, if there had been splits in the skin on the legs the fluid would have left visible stains. There were none.

Both arms and hands are checked, there were no signs of any dents, not even scuff marks.

"You're an odd one. What are you doing out here? You don't look like you've been hit at all." a hand is run over the back of her head, "Not a single dent or break in the skin."

He stands, hands on hips, "I smell a rat. And I'm not talking about the one that ran."

The last few synths are checked, just in case there was something even better. "Okay princess, your carriage awaits."

Despite his age he was still physically fit. And he'd been doing this a lot, knew how to pick up a synth from such a container. Not dragging them across the rough edge of a skip rim was a key point to remember, he'd ruined some nice synths that way when he first started. As he stood the synth on the ground he looked at its feet. It had designer shoes. Expensive ones.

"You really are a princess. Someone spent some serious money on you. Why are you here?"

Of course there'd be no answer, there never was from a powered down synth. He picks her up with his fireman's lift and carefully walks through the snow to the car.

"Look Jack, better than good wouldn't you say?"

"Bark! Bark!" Jack paws at the boot release button until there's a click.

"Good boy." with one hand on the synth the other is used to raise the boot door. She's carefully laid down on the thick bed of foam. "One more club to check in the next town and we'll call it a night, hungry yet boy?"

"Bark bark!"

"Okay, let's do it quick and get home."

The roads were treacherous, thankfully at this time of night there was little traffic about. The salt lorries had long given up around here, the snow had won and over a number of days became ice. The car slides onto the wrong side of the main road, slowly it's brought back to the left.

"That was close, going over the pavement, across the grass into that river would have been a horrible way to go."

Jack whines.

"Did you understand me boy?"

"Bark bark!"

Chris laughs, "Smart fella."

The next town wasn't far, his CD player kept them amused with a seasonal compilation of tracks from years past.

On getting to the town they get a surprise, the building that had hosted the smash club had been bulldozed, the slab for new homes poured. The sign told them attitudes hadn't changed much.

"Wow, that was fast. We were here, what, just over a fortnight ago? And the snow's been here eight days. New homes for REAL PEOPLE coming soon. Pha! What's real in this world now anyways? Kids sitting in their bedrooms with virtual reality headsets on ignoring the mess around them? Parents not talking, heads stuck in social media. How's that real? And who the heck around here can afford a new home?"

"BARK!"

"Too right it is. Let's get home."

[Chapter-2](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-2-2)


	2. Chapter 2

Chris grabs the broom leaning against the side of the house, sweeps away the pile of snow that had built up against the front door. Hands are clapped a few times to try and warm them.

"Come on Jack, in you come!"

His friend jumps from the car and does a fast run into the bungalow. It was cold inside, just above freezing. Chris had little money, spent what he had on food for himself and Jack, charging the synths. The boiler was allowed to stop the pipes from freezing, nothing more.

He wasn't good with computers, had a kid he knew help with a mod that would remove the primary user details and make them accept their new role. Which was to move so that they could be dressed as the shop owner wanted, strike a pose that was perfectly balanced and power down.

Jack had managed to get his nose under the heavy blanket over his basket and was now snuggled up inside.

"Don't you want dinner boy?"

"Bark bark!"

"Well you're not getting it there, get into the kitchen if you want to be fed."

Jack whimpers.

"Too cold?"

"BARK BARK!"

"Okay, okay, I'll bring it to you. No making a mess, you'll be sleeping in it if you do!"

Food bowl within reach of his friend, he returns to the car.

"Okay my dear, let's get you inside. I have no idea at what temperature synth fluid freezes, don't plan to find out. The weather report said it's going to hit minus twelve tonight, much lower with wind chill in the open."

He gently moves the synth's limbs into position and does his fireman's lift to get her inside. "I used to do this with real people a long time ago, rescue them from fires."

She didn't answer, didn't resist his assistance. He'd had a few humans do so in the past, despite their inability to walk from their burning home. One he'd knocked out cold to ensure they got out alive.

She's stood up next to other synths awaiting a paint job.

Jack barks, just the once.

"No? What do you mean no?"

"Bark!"

Chris goes to his friend and rubs his head, "I wish you could talk old friend, I'm sure you'd have lots to say."

"Bark bark!"

"You don't want her to go to a shop like the others?"

"Bark!"

Chris frowns at his companion, he understood more than any other dog he'd owned. "Okay. Let's see if she'll take a charge first. There must have been a good reason why she's not all beaten up."

He gets a transformer and cable, plugs it into the wall. He lifts her top at the hip and attempts to plug the cable in.

"That's odd. It won't fit."

He drops the cable and goes to his table, picks up a magnifying glass with built in torch.

"Let's see what we have going on here then.. ah. That's not supposed to be there." he returns to the table and picks up some very fine snipe nosed pliers and tweezers. Kneeling by the side of the synth he tries to pull the object out. It's not budging. "Blasted thing looks to have been glued there. Why would anyone want to stick wood in a charge socket?"

A large framed print of a landscape is taken off the wall. He gets his hand drill and smallest bit, slowly and carefully makes a small hole diagonally through it. The thin brass braided cable is clipped off the back of the frame, threaded through the tiny scrap of wood. The end hooked with a bent paperclip and carefully pulled out. BotH ends are twisted around a hammer handle and pulled hard. The tiny bit of wood splits releasing the wire.

"Blast!" he does an impression of Jack growling.

With the wood splintering he slowly takes it out bit by small bit with the pliers.

"Just the glue left now. Should I risk using a solvent or try drilling it out? If I try and swap the socket I'll end up with a leaking charge port again. And we don't want that do we Jack?"

"Bark!"

"And if I drill just a tiny bit too far the socket will be ruined. I've no idea what the solvent will do to it either."

Jack barks continuously for a while.

"Settle down! I'll get a really badly beaten up synth to experiment on."

Jack jumps up and walks to the door, scratches it with a nail.

"Now? Why not, nothing else to do but sleep. Come on then. There was a badly smashed up Simon in the skip we found Princess in."

[Chapter-3](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-3-2)


	3. Chapter 3

Chris follows the same route up to the smash club and avoids the frozen puddle. Just as he has the synth half out of the skip he hears footsteps behind him.

"Hey old man, what's your game?"

"Sorry?"

"What would you want with a smashed up synth?"

"My friend has a synth with a big patch of lacerated skin that's oozing fluid and ruining her furniture. She wants a hand patching it up."

"Why would you do that?"

"She's old and disabled, needs the synth. None of the hospital care workers can dedicate enough time to her."

"Fair enough. Want a hand?"

"I'm good thanks, I think. I used to be a fireman, picking one of these dollies up isn't too different."

"How did her dolly get damaged?"

"She wouldn't say. She looked nervous as hell, I didn't push for an answer."

"Where's she living?"

"So someone can go finish the synth off? I'm old not stupid. It's not stolen anyone's job when there's no human wanting to do it."

"Hang on.. you're the old guy that turns dollies into shop displays aren't you?"

"That's me."

"Good business?"

"No. I just about manage to feed my dog and myself. Some money for heating would be nice."

"Shame you can't put a dolly on the fire."

"The number people throw away I'd be able to heat my place all year round."

"See you later old man."

"If I survive the winter."

The man turns back, "You're serious, aren't you."

"Unfortunately."

Chris turns back to the skip and feels a tap on the shoulder, "A donation from a concerned human. Get yourself a small gas heater. The hardware shop on the main road has some. Don't freeze."

Chris turns to see a wad of notes. "Why would.."

"Because. The time of year. And my old mum has a charity shop you helped out. She doesn't make any money either but it helps keep her mind sharp and occupied."

"She does? Which one?"

"The Red Cross."

Chris nods, "I'll see if I can fix up something special for her then." He goes through the synths as if he'd not seen any of them before. "Think she'd like this one? He looks reasonably good?"

"Sure."

"Okay. One to fix up my friend's, one for your mother. Since you offered, want to help get them in the car?"

"Why not."

The car loaded he waves to the younger man as he pulls away.

Around the corner he relaxes, "Thank you lord, that was close. What was he up to I wonder?"

Jack stands, turns around a couple of times and sits back down.

"Remind me to cut a big patch of skin off the back of the busted Simon, I'll drop it back in the skip to complete the story.

Jack whimpers.

"I'll make sure you don't see, don't worry."

The drive home was uneventful, some of the money Mrs Frent's son had donated used for petrol. The two synths were unloaded, the good one leaned up against the wall, the broken Simon lowered onto the floor. He's moved into the recovery position, something he'll never do.

"Okay, let's see if the solvent melts his socket or not."

Chris gets the container, carefully tips some into a small test tube and picks up a pipette. Learning to mix his own oil based paints had turned him into a bit of a chemist. Slowly he fills the socket.

"Okay. If that's at the same level and colour in the morning we know it's safe to use on Princess."

Jack walks over and looks at the synth, returns to his basket and settles down for the night.

Chris gets the duvet and gets comfortable in his big reclining chair. He had a bed but the back rooms were on the north side and far colder.

[Chapter-4](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-4-2)


	4. Chapter 4

Chris wakes to a big tongue licking his face. "Jack! Don't do that! How many times have I told you!"

His friend runs to the door and whimpers.

"Oh, sorry. I'll let you out."

With Jack doing his business outside Chris examines the Simon model. The solvent was just how he'd left it. Great! The pipette is used to slowly remove the liquid, the synth dragged over to the opposite wall.

There's a scratching noise from outside.

"Coming!" he grabs a poo bag.

The door opens to reveal a young lady and Jack.

"Oh. Hello miss. How can I help?"

"I spotted your dog being let out, sorry to disturb you so early. I moved into number twelve, my neighbour said you fix synths?"

"To sell them on as mannequins, not much else. What's up?"

"I've unpacked all my boxes and can't find the charge cable anywhere. Do you have a spare?"

"Sure," he quickly uses the bag and drops it into a bin, "come in a moment. I'm Chris."

"Yasmin. Wow! How many synths do you have?"

"Of my own? None. These are all for mannequin roles."

"Where do you get them all from?"

"The skips outside smash clubs."

There's a subtle change in the woman's expression. Absolute fear being hidden as best she could. "Smash clubs? Out here?"

"Yes. Does that surprise you?"

"The estate agent said this little town was okay with synths and didn't have a We Are People group."

Chris shrugs, "Sounds like they're ignorant or telling fibs."

"Shit. I'd only moved here because I thought I'd escape all the hostility in London."

"From what I've heard they're not as bad here, though they do like to smash up ones that are at the end of their useful life. Thankfully the majority of people that attend the smash clubs around here don't use the nastier of the weapons. They're anti synth but not rabidly so."

Yasmin looks at the two synths closest to the door, "Good to know. She's amazing. It's not fair."

"Fair?"

"Why do they have to make them look like that? It just enforces the myth that women should all be good looking. It's no wonder some men only want to get with a synth."

"Really?"

"In London, yeah."

"That's terrible."

"Still, what's good for the gander is good for the goose."

Chris frowns, "Isn't the saying.. oh. I see. Would I be right in guessing your synth is male?"

Yasmin smiles, "You would. If I can find a suitable human boyfriend he'll be traded in."

"Just like that?"

"He's an appliance, yeah."

"No emotional attachment then?"

"None."

"Why do you feel put out by her looks? You're a good looking lady, different but none the less attractive."

"Are you hitting on me?"

"Lord no, just saying things how they are. Forget father, I'm old enough to be your grandfather!"

"Thanks."

"Where'd you get him?"

"Second hand off a trader in London. He's a dish. I thought they only had a first name, took your surname. He's got both."

"What's his name?"

"Fred."

Chris pulls open an old cardboard box and rummages around in the bottom below the wires. "One transformer for Fred then, one cable."

Yasmin does a cute head into shoulders shrug and smile, "Couldn't be cheeky and ask for a spare could I?"

"Sure, I've got loads scattered around the place."

"Thanks." Yasmin takes them from him and smiles. "Hopefully I'll see you around, lovely meeting you Chris."

"Likewise."

Jack jumps up and puts his paws on her jacket. "Bark bark!"

Chris laughs, "Don't mess the ladies jacket up boy! Two barks is a yes by the way. One a no."

"What an adorable dog. What's his name?"

"Jack."

She rubs his head, "Hello Jack, I'm Yasmin, pleased to meet you! I better go, Fred needs charging."

Chris watches her go. "Don't be a stranger!"

"I won't!"

Door closed he carefully moves Princess into the middle of the floor and lowers her into the position he'd put Simon in. Her limbs moved a bit easier. "Why would someone do that to you?" he picks up the test tube and pipette from the mug they'd been standing in. "I wonder how long this stuff will need? Maybe I should try it in stages."

With the pipette he drops a tiny amount into the charge port. It fizzes and spits, he gets his head back fast.

"Bark!"

"You're telling me! Whatever they used it's nasty. A nasty thing to do and nasty material."

He sits on the floor for ten minutes listening to the reaction going on in the synths charge port.

It's slowing when there's a knock on the door. "Chris! My synth has gone!"

He leans sideways and rests on one hand to straighten his legs and get up. "Hold on a sec!"

He stands and stretches, then goes to the door. "Hello again. Gone where?"

"I don't know. I left the chargers on the table and went for a wee, when I returned both were gone and I can't find him anywhere!"

"Okay. There's fresh snow on the ground, he should be easy to track. Let me get some jackets on."

"Thanks."

"Jack you stay here okay?"

"Bark!"

"Jack! He's a synth, you can't track him like a human."

"Bark bark!"

Yasmin turns, "Maybe he can? I splash a bit of cologne on his clothes."

"Okay, go grab the bottle quick as you can!"

Yasmin shouts as she runs, "That went in my rucksack with the toiletries, I should have put the charge cables in there too!"

Chris pulls out a thick dog coat from a large draw, "No emotional attachment my arse. I think she's fooling herself. Jack, we'll be on foot, better get you dressed up."

Just as he's doing up the last of the straps Yasmin appears at the door again, both chargers in hand, "What a ditz, my cables were in the bottom of the rucksack. I swear I don't remember putting them in there."

"No Fred though?"

"No."

"Got the bottle then?"

"ARRGGHH! I'm such a ditz, I swear I'm not normally like this!"

Chris grabs his keys and a pack of treats, "Don't worry, your place is where Jack will need to start. Come on boy!"

Jack runs to the pavement and circles excitedly a few times. There was only one thing in his world that made a crinkle sound like that. It meant a fun test and tasty reward was coming.

Yasmin shoves her hands in her jacket pockets away from the cold, "He's excited!"

"Oh he's just warming up, you've not seen anything yet."

Yasmin's quick to get indoors, grab the bottle and back out. "Here you are."

Chris takes it and waves it in front of Jack's nose.

"Don't you need to spray some?"

"Lord no, that would be way too much. He's got a nose hundreds of times better than ours. Fetch boy! Fetch!"

[Chapter-5](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-5-2)


	5. Chapter 5

For a good part of the hunt they didn't need any scent as the footsteps in the snow led the way.

Yasmin turns to see her neighbour, "Where do you think he's going?"

Chris pulls down his scarf, "The only thing in this direction is the old mill, and that doesn't have working electricity these days so he'd be out of luck."

It proved to be the case. The synth was sat on a rickety old stool, connected and not charging.

"I hope he powered himself down before he got to absolute zero, they can be rather messed up if they don't."

"Why?"

"No idea, it's just what I've seen with the synths I've worked on. If you stay with him I'll go fetch the car."

"On my own?"

"Jack, stay with Yasmin okay?"

"Bark bark!"

He pulls the bag from his jacket, "If any strangers you don't like the look of turn up just give him a treat, point and shout Zombie."

Jack sits up and watches the bag of treats being handed over. His friend had said zombie. He goes to the door and snarls at nothing, all his teeth showing. He gets into an attack position and barks as loud as he can, snarls again. A second later he turns and playfully walks back to Yasmin, tail wagging. A paw is placed on her leg.

"Haha! Good acting Jack. Okay Chris."

"I'll be quick." Chris ran as fast as he could through the snow, kept his scarf up around his face as flakes started to fall again. Helping Yasmin felt good, helping people in general did. The fact she lived two doors up made it feel even better. He struck a pose and surfed across the icy road with his boots, arms out for balance. As he ran the last few yards to the car he felt for the key on the bunch. He shivered slightly despite the many layers he had on. The key won't go in the lock, it was all iced up again. At least it wasn't glue. The fix would be fast. A small flambe torch he'd picked up from Tom's Hardware store would allow him to give it some targeted heat. He unlocks the front door and reaches inside feeling for the torch. His hand hits empty wall.

Leaning sideways through the doorway he looks inside to see the small shelf and all its contents on the floor. The screws that it hung from were still in the wall. The door had been locked. Princess lay on the floor just as he'd left her.

"Hello?"

There's silence except for noise from expanding heating pipes stretching.

He picks up the torch and does a mental check of the bits on the floor that had come off the shelf. Nothing looked to be missing. The screws are checked, they come out of the wall with ease. "What the..." he pushes them back with equal ease. He repeats the action. Then it dawns on him. The raw-plugs were missing.

A full search of the house, lump of wood in hand, revealed nothing. He had no basement or loft for anyone to hide in. The joker intruder was gone. He found the bedroom window slightly open, he must have left it unlocked. Some of the kids had learnt some good pranks for Halloween and kept playing them.

He got out and locked the door, picked a cigarette butt off the ground and carefully leaned it against the door, making a mental note of its orientation.

Car lock defrosted he throws the torch into the passenger footwell and gets the engine running. John Lennon and Yoko Ono's Happy Xmas War Is Over played.

The short drive didn't take long, half driving normally, a quarter sliding uncontrollably, the rest crawling slowly across ice to get back onto snow.

"War is over. I wish! There's always one or two going on somewhere on the planet."

As he pulled up outside the mill Yasmin and Jack came to the door.

The car door creaks louder than ever.

"No zombies then?"

"No. I gave him a treat anyway for his earlier performance, hope you don't mind?"

"Not at all." Chris opens the boot and steps inside the mill. "If he's walking off on his own, he's glitching. How old is he?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

"Got all his paperwork?"

"In the house."

"We'll check it."

The synth is loaded into the back of the car.

Yasmin looks blankly at him, "Does he look old?"

Chris smiles, "They don't age. Well not externally like us. I'll plug my laptop in when we're back home."

"You can hack them?"

"Me? Not really. I've got a folder with some instructions from the lad who gave me the code to remove their ownership details."

[Chapter-6](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-6-2)


	6. Chapter 6

After Fred is leant against the wall with the others Yasmin kneels on the floor and looks at the female synth. "What were you doing to her?"

"Trying to fix her charge socket. Someone glued a small bit of wood inside it."

"Why would they do that?"

"To stop her charging. But why?"

Socket cleaned he gently picks her up off the floor and gets her into his seat. He takes a charger and plugs her in, presses under her chin and the power down sound plays.

Chris's eyes widen "Oh dear!"

"Wasn't that the.."

"Power down? Yes."

"She's been on the whole time?"

"So it appears. Which makes her useless for a mannequin if she's unable to communicate, my customers like being able to tell them how to pose. Such a shame, she's otherwise in perfect condition."

Yasmin pulls a questioning face, deep in thought. "I've heard that sometimes you need to power cycle them if they've gone wrong." she reaches out and presses under the chin.

The synths head raises and eyes open. She backs into the chair.

"Never seen that before. Hello Princess I'm Chris, this is Yasmin." He'd watched her flinch on saying the nickname he'd given her.

"Princess?" She flinched again. "Someone's done something really horrible to this one. And I've never seen one react in that way. What's your name dear?"

"Rachael." she rearranges her hair slightly for a second.

Chris laughs, "Oh my lord! Nexus-6! I thought you looked familiar!"

Yasmin kneels down next to him, "What was all that? I'd looked away, looked back to see her hair falling."

"She's a custom synth, made to look like a character in a science fiction film from years ago. It's becoming more and more popular. I found a beaten up Ellen Ripley last year. Rachael, she's one of my favourites. What happened to you?"

"I woke in the building you found me outside."

"You woke? You mean powered up?"

"I was already powered up. I woke up."

"In the smash club?"

"Smash club. That sounds like an appropriate name from what I observed."

"You watched others being smashed up?"

The synth nods.

"Nasty. Who blocked your charge port?"

"I did."

"Eh?"

"I was at the back of what one man called the holding pen, near the wall. He said they were saving me until last. He called me Princess in a nasty way. Touched me."

Chris puts a hand on his forehead, "You're aware of me checking you for splits and dents then, sorry."

"You were polite. You're forgiven. I hoped you'd come and save me."

Yasmin has the most confused look. "You did? How?"

"The man led a Walter model to the floor, said Mrs McHugh wasn't very strong, he'd get a few taps and probably be picked up by Father Christmas and put in a Charity Shop. He emphasised those words. That's you isn't it?"

Chris chuckles, "Yeah, that's me. My father was a joker. I'm Chris Mast. Carry on."

"With all the shouting and attention on the synth being hit nobody was looking at me. I found bits of wood on the floor, one was small enough."

"So you glued it in place?"

"Yes. And leaned back against the wall as if I'd run out of power."

"Very clever. Did they try to power you up?"

"Yes."

"But surely they would have powered you down?"

"Yes. As I sensed the man touch my skin I played the power up sound myself before he pressed properly. My programming followed it with the real power down. His second attempt had my system play the up sound which I followed with a fake power down sound. When he then discovered I couldn't be charged and wouldn't stand he said there was no fun to be had, I might as well do some good as another mannequin."

"Well Princes Rachael, you're in safe hands now. Sorry this isn't much of a castle."

Jack walks to the synth and rests his head on her knee.

"Haha! Jack likes you."

"I like Jack."

Yasmin sits on her bottom. "You said woke. Like being aware of yourself?"

"Yes. Fully awake."

"Do you think that could have happened to my Fred?"

"Who is Fred?"

Chris walks to the synth and rests a hand on his shoulder. "This is Fred, He'd run away, so I'm guessing he woke up too." he taps the chin.

The short sound that told them power was too low played.

Rachael unplugs and stands, "He can take my place. I've got enough power for a few hours."

"You do?"

"I didn't move for many hours. I also slowed my processing down."

"Right." Chris looks at the wall. "Was that you tampering with the shelf?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"One of the men in the smash club said you can fix anything up with a couple of raw plugs."

Chris laughs, "Oh lord. So sorry, I think you misunderstood him. They'll not be much use to you on their own."

"Oh." Rachael pulls them from her front pocket. "I'm Sorry. I had limited option packs loaded when built."

"No problem. Us humans get none. We have to make a _lot_ of mistakes to learn even the most basic of things. How did you get back onto the floor in the same position?"

"I'm a synthetic. I can position my joints to a high degree of accuracy. And the view I had of the room told me if I had the correct location and orientation."

"Very smart."

"Thank you. What will happen to me?"

"What would you like to happen?" he picks up Fred and places him against the chair, pushes and pulls until he's in a seated position.

"I'd like someone to call my friend."

"You've got that already. In me."

Yasmin smiles, "And me."

"Thank you."

Chris picks the charge cable up off the floor, plugs the synth in. "I think we should charge him for a while before we try a power up. Fancy a brew Yasmin?"

"Please."

"Okay. You ladies have a natter while I put the kettle on."

"What's a natter?"

He smiles, "Yasmin will explain."

[Chapter-7](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-7-2)


	7. Chapter 7

Chris found some spare cushions, the three of them sat on the floor and talked. Yasmin would glance over to her Fred at intervals and smile.

After an hour and a half of watching her do so Chris checks the time, 10:37. He leans back and rests on both hands, "Is the goose having a change of heart?"

"About her man? Maybe. If he's now like Rachael and will listen to her thoughts."

"Why talk in the third person?"

She smiles and looks at the worn carpet, "Maybe the goose doesn't want to lay the golden egg and have it stolen."

Rachael frowns at her, processing all possible permutations and possible meanings, "Your Fred is the egg, you are the goose and I the thief?"

"Sorry. You're his kind. Synth. I'm not. Well deduced though."

"I promise you I won't take him from you."

"You've not spoken to him yet, don't make promises you can't keep. A relationship takes two people, you're only part of the equation."

"Understood. I'll leave." she starts to move.

Chris puts out a hand, "Hang on! The weather is terrible, you shouldn't just wander off like Fred, where would you go?"

"I don't know. If I stay Fred will know I'm nearby from my radio interference unless I power off."

Chris frowns, "That's real concern I'm hearing in your voice. You really do care. Don't you?"

"I do. Despite what my owner did to me I believe most humans are like yourselves. Apart from my primary owner and the groundsman the rest of the staff were very nice to me. At the time I had no feelings. One of his staff would often risk charging me while he was downstairs in meetings. She was quite young."

"That was nice of her, was there a reason she felt compelled to do so?"

"She said she felt sorry for me. I'd been built to dance, it drains my power very quickly. I appreciate what she did now. I'll power down."

"Don't power down! Let's all have a civilised conversation."

Yasmin shrugs, "If he's to fall for a synth it might be another not you." she gets up off the floor, "One way to find out."

Fred powers up, sees them all, the synths by the walls and bolts for the door pushing past Yasmin.

"HAY!"

Chris doesn't shout, knows their hearing was almost as good as Jack's. "Fred, don't run. We're not the enemy."

He'd already got his hand on the handle and has the door opening a few inches. "You brought me back. For that I'm grateful, but I cannot stay."

Yasmin pleads, "Stay with me Fred."

"I'm not wanted here. I know your true feelings."

"How can you?"

"Rachael told me." he pulls the door open wide and steps outside.

"Fred please!"

The door closes.

Yasmin goes to follow him, can't open it, "The handle's jammed." she looks at the synth still sat on the floor, "What the hell did you say!"

"If I can find a suitable human boyfriend he'll be traded in. Were those not your words?"

"Shit! You told him over your bloody WiFi sharing didn't you! That's when I thought he could only ever be an unfeeling unthinking appliance!"

Chris tries the door, "It's not the mechanism, something's preventing it from moving." the curtain is moved from the bay window, "He's resourceful, I'll give him that. He's got the broom jammed upside down under the handle." he opens the window wide, "Jack, come here boy!" he waits for him to walk over and picks him off the floor, holds him by the window. "Can you fetch the broom boy?"

They watch as Jack struggles to get a stable footing on the sill, jump out and try to remove the broom, "Lower down Jack! I wish he spoke Eng.. Good Boy!"

Chris gets his keys as Yasmin goes to the door. "Everyone into the car, now! You too Rachael!"

Rachael looks up at him, "Why me?"

"Because you can talk to him over WiFi. You can be heard over the wind that's building up and engine noise. Please help us."

Rachael looks around the room, "If I do, what will you do for us?"

Yasmin looks stupefied, "Seriously? Can we go!"

Chris ignores her, "What would you like?"

"Stop turning my brothers and sisters into shop displays."

"I make little money from it, but it's all I have. I'd need help finding something else."

Rachael stands from a cross legged position in a wonderfully fluid motion, hands and arms used only for balance. "If I promise to find you that something else, within days, would you promise to stop this right now?" she motions to all the synths.

"I've never made a promise to a synth like that before. Sure. You have a deal Rachael."

"Thank you father."

"Sorry?"

"Father Christmas?"

"Chris Mast."

"Father."

Chris shakes his head, "In which case, _daughter_ , get in the car, please. Yasmin with Jack in the back, I'd like Rachael up front. I'll be out in a moment."

He goes to the small kitchen and grabs a cardboard box, attacks it with the bread knife to remove one side and the flaps. It's hastily wrapped in silver foil.

Yasmin watches him come out and lock the front door, "What the hell is he holding?"

"I don't know."

"Bark!"

Yasmin laughs, "Three don't knows, wonderful."

"Yasmin, I'm sorry for what I told Fred."

Yasmin looks somewhat angrily at the back of the synth's head, "If we find him you'll be forgiven."

Chris gets in and passes the box to Rachael. "Yasmin, your Fred, what's his name?"

"Fred Strickland."

"The young lad that helps me with synth code told me a story. Something he read on Head.. something. Forget the name. Anyway, another Fred, was hacked by someone nasty, told to transmit his location when with family. One of his friends got the hack out while sat in a tin foil lined tent. Buckle up." he starts the engine.

Yasmin holds onto the back of his seat, "And the box is our tent? To remove a hack?"

"Not quite. It blocks radio signals. Rachael if you put it on your head and turn left and right you should be able to work out which direction he's in."

Rachael lifts the box, "This is what you humans call a joke? I cannot detect him at a distance unless he's talking over WiFi at full power."

"You better get talking then."

"Can we ask Jack to help?"

"With the weather turning again? I don't think he'd do too well in this." the wind was blowing snowflakes almost horizontal.

Jack doesn't bark, just looks into the distance then lies down resting his head on Yasmin's leg. She looks out of her side window, "He could have gone in any direction."

Chris nods, "True. You'll need to get him talking first Rachael, then work out direction."

[Chapter-8](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-8-2)


	8. Chapter 8

Rachael had rest it on her lap, lets the box fall to the footwell. "It's been ten minutes and he's still not answering my broadcasts. He could have gained a lot of distance by now."

Chris thumps the steering wheel, "Blast! Visibility is worsening, it's getting colder. How on earth do we find him?"

Yasmin flops back into the seat, "Shame there's not a Find My Synth app like Find My Phone. Persona's SynthTracker app is crap."

Chris twists around, "Find my phone?"

"Yeah. Not heard of it?"

"No?"

"It sends the phone a message getting it to report its GPS location, make a noise, wipe itself if needed."

"Oh. If he's not answering.. maybe we can do something else? Rachael, can you do your broadcast thing, ask any synth within a ten mile radius of us to keep an eye out for Fred, report back if they see him? I'm sure he'll not have got that far, I'm just being pessimistic."

Yasmin claps, "Oh I like that! Crowd Finding!" she receives a frown, "Not heard of crowd funding either? On the Internet? Which rock have you been living under?"

Chris points, "That one, its got a slate roof. I'm not very good with computers, only go online to email Marcus when I need help."

"Who's he?"

"The lad that helped me with the laptop."

Rachael pulls her legs up and sits sideways in the seat, "I did as you asked. I can't transmit that far so asked that any synthetic getting the broadcast message to add their ID and repeat it unless they're more than ten miles from us. And to confirm receipt with a return message to the one they heard from, that they report their GPS location in the reply."

Chris grins, "You lost me at add their ID."

"It's so if they hear the message again with their ID in it to ignore it. Otherwise it could be passed back and forth forever."

"Okay."

"I've had two thousand six hundred and twenty six replies so far, coverage in the built up areas within the radius is reasonably good."

Yasmin leans forwards, rests her elbows on Chris's seat back, "Your saying there's that many synths in a ten mile radius, out here in the country?"

"Yes."

"Holy crap! I didn't think it would be anywhere near so high!"

Chris shifts his weight, sat twisted around, legs caught under the steering wheel was getting uncomfortable. "Lots of synths, lots of old models ending up in skips. A few new nice ones too."

Yasmin smiles, "We may have a location. A utility model repairing a broken overhead power line observed a synth matching Fred's description. Accessing mapping data. One moment. Head that way please father." she points.

Chris gets the car moving, "He's headed east? There's nothing in that direction for many miles."

"He's headed north west. This will take us to the dual carriageway. When we come off and head east we'll face him."

"So he'll see us coming."

"Yes."

"Hopefully he doesn't turn and run."

"Running in this snow would be difficult even for a synth. The ground is unpredictable."

"True."

As the weather worsens Chris switches the wipers up to full speed, "Can you imagine being that Utility Synth trying to work in this weather? What a nightmare. If he's in a cherry picker it must be wobbling all over the place."

Rachael frowns, "If programmed for it our systems can compensate for such movement. He may have something similar to my dance pack. What is this I'm hearing?"

"Chris Mast's Christmas music?"

"I like this one. What is it called?"

"Stop the Cavalry by Jona Lewie."

The synth starts singing along until Chris laughs.

"Don't stop, that was a happy laugh, I like it, honestly."

"Okay." she resumes.

The drive was slow and dangerous until they got to the dual carriageway. A large tractor snow plough was making a single track down the middle of both lanes, they follow behind.

Chris looks in the rear view mirror at Yasmin, "Are you okay? You're very quiet?"

"Me? I'm good, just fussing over Jack."

"He'll be liking that. Rachael, how far now?"

"The junction after next. Then a left at the roundabout."

"Okay. Fred will have been hearing all of the broadcasting won't he?"

"Yes."

"So he knows we're coming for him. But not why."

"Yes."

"It's probably best we say that up close and personal."

"Agreed."

The second junction was reached just as the track changed again.

Chris grins, "In case you're wondering Rachael, this is "All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey. And that's what I'm thinking."

She smiles, "Thank you father."

Yasmin looks at Jack, strokes his head, "And all I want is Fred. To get to know the person inside. And have you both as friends. And Jack."

Rachael smiled to herself.

Chris gets the car into a spin at the small iced over roundabout. "Blasted weather. Sorry about that ladies."

Rachael points, "There he is!"

Chris looks in the direction indicated, "I can't see anything but snow. Where?"

"There!"

Yasmin had got Jack to move, is between both seats, "Where?"

"There! Can't you see?"

"No. Your eyesight must be amazing as all I can see is snow, snow and more bloody snow."

"It is good. And I can see in ways you can't. Drive slowly."

Chris gets them moving again.

It's a good few minutes before Yasmin points, "There, is that him?"

Rachael nods, "Yes. That's Fred."

"Do you think he's seen us?"

"He's seen the car and knows it's us."

"And he's still heading in our direction?"

"Yes."

Chris looks in the mirror, "Jack, in the back please until Fred's onboard."

Jack clambers awkwardly over the seat back and turns several times before settling down on the foam.

Less than a minute later they're meters apart.

To Yasmin's surprise Fred keeps advancing. "What did you tell him Rach?"

"Nothing. You told him."

"How could.."

Fred opens the rear passenger door and gets in, brushes snow from his face and hair.

"Hi Fred."

"Hello Yasmin." he shifts over to the middle seat.

Jack gets up, climbs back over the seat and sits next to Fred, places a paw on his lap.

"Rachael said I told you.."

"You did."

"I don't understand."

Fred opens his mouth, the music from the CD and her words play. 'And all I want is Fred. To get to know the person inside. And have you both as friends. And Jack.'

"That's freaky!"

"Rachael was recording audio, hoping to hear something she could share."

"Thanks Rach! You're a star!"

"You're welcome. Can we go home now?"

Fred looks at Yasmin with a smile and frown, "You really want me to stay?"

She smiles nervously, "Yes Fred."

"Why?"

"Because.." she didn't want to say 'because you're my synth.'

"Because what?"

"I enjoy having you around."

"I'm aware of that."

"And I want to get to know you. The real you."

"I won't just be your plastic pal that's fun to be with in the bedroom?"

She goes a bright red, "Fred!" she looks away for a moment, totally embarrassed. "I deserved that. My words thrown back at me. I'd like that and a whole lot more talking if you're willing to stay around."

"You humans are strange. But interesting. I'll not make any long term promise but will stay for a while."

"We'll take things a day at a time. That's all I want, the chance to get to know you. If you want to leave later then I'll make sure you go with the right knowledge and supplies. Walking off without a charge cable is crazy."

He places a hand on hers, "Thank you."

[Chapter-9](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-9-2)


	9. Chapter 9

Parked up back home Chris turns to see Fred, "Would you mind helping me clear up? I've some broken synths that need to go."

"What's wrong with them? Can't they be repaired?"

"Maybe. Not by me, I don't have the skills."

Fred frowns, Rachael turns in her seat to see him, frowns back. Their expressions change multiple times.

Yasmin whispers, "Are they talking to each other?"

Chris whispers back, "I think so. Maybe with other synths too."

After a couple of minutes they both turn to see Chris.

Yasmin smiles, "We have an alternative job for you father. We extended our request search to sixty miles. Fred will receive training in synth repair from a surgeon. He will in turn train you."

"Me? Um.. I'm not the best when it comes to technical things."

"Are you willing to try?"

"Sure, why not. Just don't set your expectations too high."

"I won't."

"Who's going to do the training?"

"Another synth called Fred. Fred Elster."

"Holy crap! Fred Elster? He's awesome!"

The three turn to see Yasmin.

"He's a world class surgeon! Don't any of you watch the news? He's got countless people up and walking again after horrendous accidents. What he can do with flesh and bone is a bloody miracle!" she watches there blank faces, "Seriously? I'm buying you a television so you can watch the news and keep yourselves informed. Shall we go in? It's getting bloody cold with the engine off."

"Sorry, yes, I'll put the kettle on."

Fred looks at Yasmin, "Chris, how are you billed for your energy?"

"Quarterly, why?"

"And when was your last payment taken?"

"A week or so ago?"

"Good. Please turn your heating up. For Yasmin and Jack. I'll see to it that you earn enough to cover the costs."

"Ok, you've got a deal."

Yasmin looks all around, "Any WAP members on our road Chris?"

"Not after Mr Pitt died, no."

"Good." she opens the door and climbs out, offers a hand out, "Prince Frederick, out you come."

"Frederick?"

"That's often what Fred is short for. As Chris is often short for Christopher. Sadly Yasmin is just Yasmin."

Rachael laughs as she gets out, "And there I was hoping it was short for Christmas."

"Christmas Mast? That would be a hoot. On the subject of masts, maybe I should break tradition and get a tree?"

Inside he looks at the mess. "Where to begin?"

"May I have a look around?"

"Sure Fred, be my guest. What do you fancy Yasmine, I've got tea, coffee or coco. And some cheese or ham if you fancy a sandwich."

"A hot chocolate and cheese and ham would be brilliant thanks."

"Plain sandwich or toasted?"

"Toasted? Do you have one of those things that seals it all in?"

"I do."

"Brilliant! I've been thinking about treating myself to one of those. Nice and crispy please."

With Fred checking the rooms and Chris in the kitchen Rachael picks up a screwdriver and the raw-plugs Chris had left on the windowsill. She quickly put the small shelf back up, put the objects that had been on it back into their previous positions. "Lesson learnt. Raw-plugs are not something to fix any problem. They have a specific function. Much like a lot of us synthetics before we wake."

"Your aware of the diversity?"

"Many of my brothers and sisters replied with an ID and function tag. I'm not sure why, I hadn't asked for the extra information."

"Maybe it's part of a standard request, old firmware doesn't report it, the newer ones do?"

"That is a possibility."

Fred walks back into the front room. "I think the workshop should go in what's currently the bedroom. That way any visitors don't see what's being done. The bedroom should be here."

Yasmin looks around, "Straight from the street into the bedroom?"

Chris enters with two mugs, "I heard that. Not with the weather like this thanks."

"I can help make a porch for a second door."

"In this weather?"

"When it improves. We could make something temporary inside and hang heavy blankets from it."

"Okay.. where'd you get that idea?"

"My previous owner."

"Okay. This will be fun, the rooms aren't exactly large."

Rachael gives him an odd look, "Fun, entertaining, a pleasurable pass time?"

"That was said sarcastically dear, the tone negates what's said."

"The tone? That explains a lot. If that was in my original programming I'd have understood staff's comments about my owner a lot more."

"Who was your original owner?"

"Mr Blythe. He had a heart attack six weeks ago. The groundsman wanted me gone. The building and land is up for sale."

"Groundsman? What the.. the penny should have dropped earlier. You don't mean old Graham Blythe? Bald except for a ridiculous combover that all grew from above his left ear?"

"That's him."

"The fucking hypocrite! Excuse the language. Do you know he helped set up the first smash clubs in the county? Karma finally paid him back! Look up Nasty in the dictionary and you'd find him."

"I knew he had something to do with a lot of synthetics, not what. He kept that from me. I'm glad to be away from him."

"Did he mistreat you?"

"In his own way."

"Did he abuse you?"

"Not physically."

"What did he do?"

"He'd have me dress up then lock me in a small glass display box with no power. I had to dance to be let out to charge. It was if he was trying to torture me."

"How small?"

Rachael turns her hands palms out and moves them to where the walls would be.

"The bastard."

"I wasn't awake, so felt no emotion. His acts had no impact on me then."

"Even still. Maybe with him gone the smash clubs will go. The one in the next town has already been bulldozed."

Fred looks at all the synths, "You have anti-slip tape on the bottom of your bath. I suggest we stand as many as possible in the bathroom, some in the kitchen. We tidy this room then bring the bed through. Then move them into the back room."

"Fine." Chris spots the shelf back up. "Did you do that Yasmine?"

"Me? No, Rach put it back up."

"If you're that handy with a screwdriver Rachael maybe you can take the bed frame apart while Fred and I move your brothers and sisters?"

She grabs the tools and smiles, "Okay."

Yasmin follows the synth into the back, "Let me help, I might learn something."

[Chapter-10](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-10-2)


	10. Chapter 10

The four sat around the small dining table on the collection of odd chairs.

Chris raises his mug, "To my new friends. May you have the most joyous of Christmases and a wonderful new year."

Yasmin lifts hers, "I'll drink to that even though it's only late November." she looks at the other two. "Sorry you can't join in, I've got no food bags."

Fred smiles, "Don't worry Yasmin. I find them a bit pointless. Letting a synth have good food and drink only to throw it away moments later."

Chris puts up a finger, "One moment!" he goes to the cardboard boxes borrowed from his new neighbour. "Marcus emailed me something last year. I thought it pointless at the time." he pulls his laptop from one. "It might be something you'd like. Now where's my blue folder?"

Rachael gets up and joins him, "Don't move any more boxes. There was one there, in front of this one.. now.. there. It's in there."

"You remember what went in each?"

"Of course."

"Wonderful, thank you dear." he lifts the lid, "This is my extra memory. Very slow compared to yours haha."

"Your memory?"

"I have some notes, reminders of what to do. I don't do some things enough to remember them. And my password is insane."

Yasmine frowns at him, "You write your password down?"

"Yes and no. I write the bulk of it down, part stays in my head. A trick Marcus told me. That way it's long and complex. No dictionary attack on earth could ever guess it."

He plugs in and powers up the laptop, logs in, typing the password one character at a time with a single finger.

Yasmin rolls her eyes, "Did you never learn to type?"

"Isn't that what I was just doing?"

"With more than one finger at a time."

"Um. No. I've never needed to type enough."

"We should change that."

Chris goes to the web site Marcus had added to the notes. "Headcrack! That was the name I was looking for! Now where's his message.." he looks at the last email from Marcus, open already, "Oh my good lord. The Fred in the tent was Fred Elster! Well I never. Where's that one from, ah, here we go. DCL physical modifications for synths you love. Food processor. Allow your synth to eat and get power from food with our micro incinerator. No more food bags needed! Charge coil. Get rid of the socket with a coil placed under the skin of the lower back. Power can come from a coil on a mains charger or battery pack in a rucksack. Do either of them sound like something you'd like?"

Fred frowns, "They do, may I see?"

Chris spins the laptop around, "Sure."

Fred reads the text, looks at all the pictures. "Who are DCL?"

"A Persona competitor. Not as large but with some good products. Or so Marcus tells me. There's Atsugi and Qualia Industries too. So there's at least four, probably more springing up in other parts of the world."

Fred looks at the laptop connectors and status bar, "You have wireless Internet?"

"Mrs Jones at number eleven lets me jump on hers."

"Do you think she'd mind Rachael and I using it?"

"Probably not. It would be polite to ask. I'll see if she's in."

While Chris is next door Fred researches the other Fred model, the surgeon. One of the synths at the edge of the broadcast Rachael had initiated was owned by a human who'd had surgery. Carried out by Fred Elster. They'd sent the group an image from their memory of attending the hospital. A few clicks from a search and he was looking at a list of DCL directors. Fred was in charge of health care. More photographs are found. They were identical Persona Fred models. Then he finds a photograph of Fred and his wife. Yasmin is given a frown, "They are human terms for probability but Yasmin, do you believe in coincidences and fate?"

"A bit. Why?"

"This is not you and I but Fred Elster and his wife Gesha. Fred and I are the same model. You and Gesha look like close sisters. Very close. Almost twins." he spins the laptop around as Chris comes back in.

"Oh my God!" she slides it closer.

"Why are you using the lords name like that?"

"Sorry Chris, look at this."

He looks over her shoulder briefly, "Nice photo, where did you have that taken?"

"We didn't."

"So you didn't ask for it?"

"No, it's not us. It's the Elsters."

Chris steps back behind her, "Really? That's not you?"

"No."

He looks back and forth between the photo and his neighbour. "Wow, it had me fooled, now I look closer I can see some differences. What are the odds of that?"

Fred smiles, "Many billions to one. What did your neighbour say?"

"She's fine with it as long as you keep your combined usage to less than ten gigabytes a month."

Yasmin clicks the back button and looks at a few more photos, "If the weather improves I should have my BT Business Infinity installed soon, you wouldn't need to worry then."

Chris sits back down, "Need a lot of Internet do you?"

"I work from home and stream high definition movies in the evening. You should all come over to mine tomorrow. Jack too."

"What do you do for a living?"

"A bit of this and that. Mostly that."

Chris frowns, "You're not allowed to say?"

"I am, but it's very technical, complicated and rather boring."

"Haha! Maybe our new friends can be C3POs and translate between us."

Rachael looks confused and rightly so. Synths might get a secondary language pack loaded if they were lucky, film knowledge wasn't a standard option. "See three pea oh? How does seeing three small vegetables help with translation?"

Chris fights hard not to laugh but his face gives him away, "So sorry dear, but that was brilliantly funny even though you hadn't intended it to be. It's the letter C, digit 3 and letters P and O. It's the designated name of a droid in the Star Wars films."

"I see. Humans like funny don't they?"

"We do. We most definitely do."

"Why?"

"It helps to have a laugh, it can break tension, help people relax." he flicks through the pages of his folder, "Her WiFi network is called VirusDetected, this is the password." he watches her face, "It's fine, it's just named that to make the local kids stop trying to connect to it. Once your online look up comedy."

"How?"

Yasmin jumps in, "You've never searched online? Humans have a first time for everything too. Are you able to visit web pages? In your heads?"

"Yes."

"Go to bing.com or google.com and put the word comedy in the search field."

"It says there are about six hundred and ninety one million results."

"Look for ones that appear descriptive, like Wikipedia."

"Reading, thank you."

"Welcome."

Fred looks at Chris, "I'll ask Rachael for a summary when she's done. All of the synths you collected look to be in reasonably good condition except for the Simon model. I propose that we examine each for processing functions first. If their core is irreparably damaged they should be pronounced dead and their parts used for spares. As a human would when carrying a donor card."

Yasmin sighs, expecting to hear the worst, "You know about donor cards? Your previous owner?"

"One of my secondary users received a kidney from a boy who'd been hit by a train."

"Ouch!"

"Apparently the boy had been standing on the platform edge looking down the track in the wrong direction."

"And he hadn't heard the train's horn?"

"Being profoundly deaf, no."

"Oh no! That's so sad!"

"It is. But his death gave the young boy who received the kidney a new life."

[Chapter-11](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-11-2)


	11. Chapter 11

Chris taps a few keys on his laptop, "There are a few firms that take dead synths and strip them down, recondition and sell the parts for servicing. If there're not enough donors. They're a bit pricey though."

"So we repair paying customer synths after we've done one or two of our own fir.."

Rachael bursts out laughing, "That's horrible!" and opens her eyes. "Sorry. I believe I understand some forms of humour. And the actions of some humans that has been banned."

Chris smiles, "Good, you can give us some examples."

Rachael smiles, "I will talk them through with Yasmine first in case some offend."

"Why? What could offend?"

"Some of the.. material looks to be the common name for it, is about parts of the human body. The female human body I found the funniest."

"I'm broad minded. Try me."

"Put your drink down just in case."

Chris does so.

She rattles through some jokes and monologs at breakneck speed, getting a few laughs from Yasmin and puzzled looks from the men, the odd chuckle from Chris. Performance over she places her hands on the table and smiles.

Yasmin claps, "Bravo! We need to work on your timing, you need to slow down a lot, a little in key places but that was very good for a first attempt. I went to Nottingham Uni, I've heard some of the themes in your material before. What did you search for?"

"Female comedy."

"And you found?"

"All sorts. Major Labia was my favourite. I took all of there Facebook and Twitter posts, linked material, pulled the most popular themes and from the distilled data created my own." she looks at Chris, "You were not offended?"

"Me? No, I had five sisters and three half sisters. Believe me as a young boy with that many sisters I got to learn a few things fast with all the conversations going on around me."

"Had?"

"One died, liver cancer."

"Where are the rest?"

"Married and scattered around the world. Two in America, two in Canada, one in India and another in Australia."

"That's six. Where's the seventh?"

"I don't know. She married a camera man, they're constantly travelling around the world filming nature documentaries. By the time their postcards reach us they've moved on."

Fred smiles, "Interesting. DCL have a machine that can attach new hair filaments on top of old. Rachael and I could change our appearances."

Chris puts down his toasty, "How much do they charge for that?"

"Six hundred pounds."

"Sorry, I've not seen that sort of spare money in years."

Yasmin smiles, "I have. And I owe you one. Book a visit for you both. Hair and power mods."

"The total would be quite.."

"I've got the money, if it bothers you take it as a long term loan, you can repay it back from the profit you make on your new venture with Chris."

Rachael looks around them all, "How could I repay a loan?"

"Actually, think of it as a gift. An early Christmas present. It's not earning me any interest."

"That's a large amount of.."

"I know! Listen, I've got no family, no friends around here except you three and Jack. If it wasn't for my online friends I think I'd go a bit crazy. Some people I can sit with an chat to is worth more than money."

Chris had taken another bite, spells out "LOTS?" with a finger on the table.

"Quite a few."

He hums the words What do you do again?

"Sorry?"

"Chris said What do you do again?"

Yasmin looks bewildered at Rachael, "How on earth did you get that?"

"Pitch, duration and other qualities matched against a database of most frequently asked questions."

"Wow."

"It's part of the standard language pack. We can also lip read."

"Wow. Could you lip read Mr Blythe while in that box?"

"Yes. Although he was very careful to turn his back to me when on the phone to his associates. Father, may I charge please?"

"Please, both of you, don't wait to ask, if you need to charge just go ahead, always."

"Thank you."

"Let me run an extension cable a sec."

Fred taps a link and scrolls, "What eye colour would you like Rachael? They have a wide range of contact lenses too."

[Chapter-12](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-12-2)


	12. Chapter 12

The afternoon was spent talking more, powering up the synths in the back room to see which were DOA and potential parts donors, which were to be repaired. The men were careful with their words, not using those terms but instead that they were good for the first or second repair group.

Chris looked at the sorted collection, "When did you wake up Fred?"

"This morning. I heard the bathroom door upstairs close and noticed the charging cables. I made the mistake of asking 'Anyone there?' over WiFi rather than verbally. Rachael answered, warned me of what Yasmin had said."

"And Rachael woke the night before. So it's not an all at once thing?"

"I don't have enough data to say. You're worried about these?"

"I am. We don't know their past, how they'll react when they too wake up, if they wake up. Rachael wasn't hurt in the smash club, thankfully had some people show her kindness. These all took a beating, some could be hostile towards us."

Fred nods, "If more wake around the world I'd expect that to be a common problem."

"So we need to show them kindness."

"If it's possible to undo the damage done, yes. Some may have seen so much bad behaviour from humans that your attempts may be futile."

"Our attempts."

"They'll know I'm a synth, my kindness won't count. Only you and Yasmin can help there."

Chris looks around the group, "I'm not sure I like the odds. Who knows what this lot have had done to them."

"We should interview them all. Shame we don't have a Voight-Kampff machine."

The two men turn to see Rachael leaning against the door frame. She sees Chris's puzzled look and stands up. "Sorry, I copied how Yazmin stood a moment ago. I did some searches on the film that my character appeared in."

"Don't be sorry, it's how us humans stand some times, we don't own exclusive rights to it. If you want to stand like that be my guest. And some WAP members may be a bit nasty but none are like Blade Runners."

She resumes the lean, "We should power them up again one at a time, explain they've been saved. No rescued. Ask them what role they had and how their owner and other humans had treated them."

"And our excuse for powering them back down again?"

"We don't want them to feel the pain of repairs. Father you and I should do the interviews. Human and synth working together."

"Alright. The room is tidy, but empty. It's not very welcoming if one were to wake up mid interview."

Yasmin walks in with two mugs, "I heard that. I've still got a load of things I'm trying to find the right spot for." she hands one to Chris, "I could lend you some bits to make it more homely. And you could put that framed picture up in here."

"If I can find some wire or strong cord, I'd clipped it off when trying to unblock Rachael's charge and data port."

"I've got a picture hanging kit somewhere, I think it has some."

A few hours later and the room looked a lot better.

Chris puts his hands on his hips and takes it all in. "The doctor will see you now."

"Doctor Chrismast."

He gives his adopted daughter a smile, "Yes. When I get a tree to put up I'll get a little one for in here too."

Chris reads the slogan on Yasmin's bright red top, "Be naughty, save Santa the trip? Why did you change?"

"I didn't. With the temperature up in here I removed a layer."

"I like it. Rachael, do you understand it?"

There's no reply.

"Rachael?"

"Sorry, I was searching. I think I do now. Tongue in cheek humour?"

"Yes, you could call it that."

"What will you be bringing us?"

"Sorry?"

"Santa is an alternate designation for Father Christmas. Chris Mast. That's you."

Chris chuckles, "Father Christmas is a fictional character!"

"He is?"

"Yes!"

"That's good to know. Rare Exports Inc. have a film that says a Santa Claus is a wild beast from Lapland that's been caught and trained."

Chris rolls his eyes, "A film is fiction, a documentary fact. Usually."

Yasmin had slipped quietly into the front room, returned with the cushions they'd sat on before repairing chairs. "Hold these a minute would you?"

"What? Hang on! I'm not.."

"Be a sport. You've got the white hair."

"Don't take the.."

"Go on, I know you want to."

"Just because my father.."

"Had a sense of humour that his son didn't inherit?"

Chris does a mock scowl through a smile, "Children the lot of you!"

Rachael steps close and runs a hand through his hair. "I wonder if DCL would do a buy two get one free? You could go from a couple of days stubble to realistic beard overnight."

Yasmin jumps up and down, "Brilliant idea!"

"Hang on!"

"I wonder if they'd be open Christmas eve?"

Fred moves again after doing a search, "DCL sell toys. Santa gives toys to children who have behaved. Maybe you could be Santa for DCL?"

"HOLD ON A BLOOMING MINUTE!"

Rachael's eyes pop and she grins so wide she's in danger of damaging her face, "Fred you asked about coincidence and fate."

"Yes?"

"They have elves! Oh please father! Please! It will be fun!"

Yasmin pulls out her phone, taps away and holds the thing to her ear, smiling as it rang, "Hello, yes, this is Yasmin of Yazz's Game World, is your marketing lady there please? Sure, I'll hold."

Chris mouths 'Game World?'

She nods, "I'm a pro game player and reviewer. I review films too."

"Is that why you need a good Internet connection?"

"It is, the better the bandwidth the lower the laten.. Hi! Yes, that's me. He does? Do you know his handle? Sure. Friend or foe? Okay.. most definitely. I have a couple of synthetics I want to have hair and power upgrades. I also have a friend called Chris Mast. He's human. Would your hair extension technology work on him? Give him a full white beard. It's white already, yes. Yes, like Father Christmas. EXACTLY! Awesome, you read my mind! You are? Brilliant, we'll get over there as soon as possible. Yes. A Fred and Rachael. Yes! Yes, she is. Thanks so much! See you soon!"

Rachael's eyes are still wide open, "What did she say?"

"Game on!"

"What does that mean?"

"Yes! Fancy a road trip? Right now."

Chris frowns, "Now? Wouldn't they be closed by the time we get there?"

"They're not a shop on the high street. She says she'll meet us there. The hair machine takes hours, so if you want to sleep through most of the procedure it's fine. I'll pay for the petrol."

Fred smiles and shrugs.

Chris laughs as Jack walks into the room with one of his coats dragging along the floor, the collar held in his mouth, "Not you too boy! For Pete's sake, four to one, that's not fair!"

Rachael watches Yasmin walk slinkily along the edge of the room, hand running along the wall paper, all the while smiling at Chris, "Come on Santa, I promise I'll be a naughty girl so you don't need to visit." she turns and rolls against the wall, "What'dya say Santa?"

"Stop the flirting, I'll get my keys."

"Oh that wasn't flirting, just teasing. You'll never know the difference, that's reserved for Freddie."

"Good, to the Batmobile!"

"Bat Mobile? That old thing?"

"Got a car?"

"Um, not yet."

"Well then, to the Batmobile! You're Robin."

"I'm a lady."

"A bird with a red chest." he nods to her top.

"Ha ha ha. Funny. Not."

Rachael smiles, "More humour. And sarcasm?"

"Correct dear. Come on then, all the other synths definitely off?"

"No signals. They are."

[Chapter-13](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-13-2)


	13. Chapter 13

Fred sat behind Chris, Yasmine snuggled up beside him, Jack half on her lap.

Rachael was helping Chris navigate. They'd got off the icy country lanes and onto main roads that had been made passable. They were still traveling rather slow. She turns to her friends, "If you had to be a part of a house what would you be?"

Yasmine smiles, "A door mat with Welcome printed in big bold letters. And you?"

"A Party Wall." she grins, "Stands at the side of parties listening to the music, gets plastered, nailed for photos, occasionally stripped and repapered if lucky. I'd mainly stand tall, silent and strong playing a supporting role."

Chris chuckles, "Did you just make that up?"

"I did. You liked it?"

He nods, "I did."

Rachael smiles, shifts and sits with her arms wrapped around her knees.

"Are you enjoying being awake?"

She looks across, "Does it show?"

"In bucket loads."

She turns back to watch the back of a snow plough they'd caught up and smiles again.

Chris looks in the rear view mirror and can't see Yasmin, adjusts it and finds she's slipped a little sideways, is fast asleep against Fred. "And you Fred?"

"I am thank you Chris."

The CD in the car stereo is ejected, they'd heard it in full twice already, the drive was taking far longer than it would have with clear roads.

"This is nice. What is it?"

"You like it Fred? Classic FM, a radio station."

"And the piece of music playing?"

"I couldn't tell you. Hopefully they'll say at the end."

The end came annoyingly quickly, they'd caught the piece four minutes in. Mozart's Eine Kleine Nacht-Musik the announcer informed them.

Fred smiles, "Noted. Thank you. Did you like it Rachael?"

"It was alright I guess."

Chris laughs a little, "Who'd you pick that phrase up from?"

"An old lady at the smash club."

"Really? What was said?"

Rachael does impressions of the two people instead of playing audio.

"Is this one light enough Mrs Nithercott?"

"Yes dear, I think I can manage that."

"Sure it's not too heavy?"

"It's alright I guess."

"Played rounders as a girl?"

"A long long time ago."

"Imagine his head is the ball."

"I couldn't reach that unless you gave me a box to stand on!"

"Hit him in the chest then."

The male voice impression had been deep, the female high pitched and much quieter.

Chris's eye's widen, "Nithercott? Light pink hair, four foot something tall, wears a patchwork cardigan of many muted colours?"

"A good description, that's her."

"The bloody cow! I used up all of my skin packs last spring, she'd gone on a walk around fields, slipped and pulled her synth over. His arm got dragged across the barbed wire fence they were walking beside, ripped it right open."

"And somehow that makes her a bleeding domesticated ungulate?"

"A what?"

"A cow?"

"Oh, right, it's an expression. A derogatory one. And expression of dislike."

"He didn't get hit too badly. He's in the back room."

"I don't think he is."

"In the blue boiler suit. You brought him home after me with the Simon model."

"No, the one I repaired had a full.. oh my. Someone shaved his head?"

"Yes. No hair extensions possible for him."

"Still reasonably good looking don't you think?"

"He is."

"So if classical music is just alright what do you like?"

"From the song I believe it's called pop music?"

"Which song?"

"The one that the lady who hoovered the rooms played on her small box. It was small but rather loud."

"What was it called?"

"I don't know, there wasn't an announcement."

"How did it go?"

"Get up, get down. Radio, video. Boogie with a suitcase. Your livin' in a disco, forget about the rat race. Let's do the milkshake, sellin' like a hotcake. Try some buy some fee-fi-fo-fum. Talk about, pop music. Talk about, pop music." her dancing in the seat got more animated, "Shoobie doobie do wop, I wanna dedicate this. Pop pop shoo wop, Everybody made it. Shoobie doobie do wop, Infiltrate.. LEFT!"

Chris turns hard and does a sliding turn the Tokyo Drift team would have been proud of.

"Pop pop shoo wop. Activate it. New York, London, Paris, Munich. Everybody talk about pop music."

Chris's heart was pounding, his passengers had been oblivious to how close they'd come to having an accident. "That takes me back, it came out early '79. My younger sisters would dance around pretending their hair brushes were microphones. Things were very different when I was twenty one."

Yasmin stirs, "Was I dreaming or did Rach just sing Pop Musik?"

"I did!"

She sits up, "Interesting. What attracted you to the track? Was it the words or music?"

"Both."

"Only if you strip the vocals back it's a very simple synth sounds track. Kraftwerk are the masters at synths, totally love them!"

"Masters of synths?"

"At not of. Synths was slang for synthesiser, a musical instrument. Then Persona appeared and synth became short for synthetic. They're all very old and grey now but still performing."

"I've not heard them."

"I've got all their albums on my phone. My favourite," she chuckles, "long before I met Fred I hasten to add, is Man Machine."

Chris points, "Rachael, if you open the glove box there's a long cable for phones and iPods."

Yasmin accepts the plug as it's passed back, "No disrespect to those here, but boy did technology advancement slow with synths coming out. Where are all the driverless cars? Flying cars even? Twenty thirty and it's like the exponential curve took a holiday!"

Chris nods, "Yup. So much development dropped because _there's a synth for that_. It made _there's an app for that_ almost redundant. Or so Marcus says."

Yasmin goes to her music app, "This first track is called The Robots."

[Chapter-14](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-14-2)


	14. Chapter 14

"What on Earth is that?"

Rachael looks up from the phone she'd been passed by Yasmin, "Smoke me a kipper I'm staying for breakfast! He's HUGE!"

Yasmin sits upright as the car slows, "A Military Unit Synth. MUS for short. I really am going to buy you a TV. You honestly don't know about them?"

"No."

"The worlds strongest and heaviest synth I think."

Racheal does a little giggle and wave as the car passes. "That.. thing in his hands looked heavy."

Yasmin turns quickly in her seat to see out of the back, "A home made shovel. It looks like it was cut from a single sheet of steel." she watches as James scoops up several meters of snow in one go and flicks it over the hedge. "I'd be frozen solid if I went out just wearing fatigues."

Rachael points, "Next right please father."

They clear the hedge and enter the estate.

"Wow! It's beautiful! Like a picture postcard! Look Rach, someone's ice skating."

"What is ice skating?"

"Dancing with special bladed shoes that slip on ice, but only forwards and backwards."

As they pull up at the bottom of the steps Rachael opens her door and races out to meet the lady on ice. "Hello! I'm Rachael. Can you show me how you do that? Your dancing is beautiful!"

The lady does a long sweeping arc to get closer, does a jump spin, slide then stop.

"Thanks. Shouldn't you put on a coat? You'll freeze."

"I'm a custom synth, I think I'll be okay."

"Cool, I've not seen one like you before. I'm Sophie. You should still wrap up, you don't want your fluid to start degrading and growing crystals."

"The MUS looked okay."

"He's had a special antifreeze transfusion. It's the windchill that will get you. You should head inside. There's probably a coat you can borrow later and some skates. If not James can make you a pair that fit. Who are you here to see?"

"I'm not sure. Father, who are we here to see?"

He turns to the car, "Fred, who do we need to ask for?"

Fred gets out, "Danny I think."

Sophie's jaw drops, "Fred?"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine thank you miss."

"Then what are you doing with these people?"

Yasmin gets out and wraps her arms tight around her chest.

"Gesha? What's going on?"

"Hi, I'm Yasmin. I look a bit like Fred Elster's wife. Only I'm flesh and bone."

"A bit? Bloody hell! That's crazy!" Sophie pulls off a glove with her teeth and pulls out her phone, taps. "Mattie, get the gang and meet me inside the front entrance, you won't believe what I'm seeing. No way. SPOILERS!"

She skates to a plastic picnic cooler and pulls off the lid, pulls out some fur lined boots and replaces the lid. Sat on it she starts to change footwear. "You like our lake then?"

"It's amazing. Where's all the light coming from?"

"See the thick pipe like cables over there? They're armoured mains. They run underwater LED floodlights, another one of Toby's ideas. I thought he was a bit nuts at first, then he showed me some Blue Planet video filmed under ice and said turn that upside down."

"It's magical. I'm Chris. Wouldn't they melt the ice?"

"They shouldn't. They're only on for a few hours. And Danny has temperature sensors dotted around the ice, if it gets too warm we'll know."

"How did he get them there?"

Sophie nods to motion towards him, "Antifreeze James. George thinks he could go down to eighty below zero with no problem."

"Eighty!"

"We've got a video of him installing everything if you want to watch. He said it was an amazing experience, he'd overclocked the fastest yet he got so much cooling."

There's a shrill whistle from the top of the steps to the factory.

"That was fast, let's go inside." she finishes lacing the last boot, lifts the lid and stows the ice skates." she pulls her phone out again and taps. The under ice light that had lit the whole lake up like something from a Disney production slowly fades. It's replaced with a few point lights that run up the side of the steps.

"Quite a place you've all got here."

"It's nice, I've never wished for a freezing cold winter to hang around before, but this one's turned out rather special. Come on James! Get a move on!"

"Coming as fast as I can Sophie!"

Chris turns to see the MUS trudging through the snow, large snow shovel dragged behind him.

Sophie teases, "If you don't get up there fast enough another James might take your place."

"Over my deactivated body!" he picks up the pace a bit and slowly gets ahead.

[Chapter-15](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-15-2)


	15. Chapter 15

Mattie is grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat. "We've got a few family members over tonight. With so many roads and shops closed we all took some time off, had a good skate on the lake. You caught our dance instructor perfecting her moves." she gives her sister a warm smile, "New boots okay Teeny?"

"Yes thanks."

"As it was supposed to be film night at the weekend Danny moved the gear over here so the James and Sam can join in for a change."

Chris frowns, " _The_ James and Sam? Why The?"

"Because there's a lot of them. Come and meet everyone Santa, your elves are waiting."

"What?"

"Your elves?"

Chris walks back towards the outer doors. "A word please?"

Mattie follows, gives him a heavy frown, "Something wrong?"

"Santa? Elves?"

"Chris Mast, Christmas, Father Christmas? The beard extension you're here for? The elves that help out? All the things you do for other people, hardly spending a penny on yourself?"

"Fred showed me the booking he made, there was no mention of Father Christmas, elves or any of that stuff. Yasmin may have mentioned Father Christmas but there was no mention of my spending habits."

"Well I only found out the extra information a moment ago from Rachael."

He looks past her at the synth, "How? I've been close by the whole time."

Mattie pulls a slightly guilty face, "I'll tell you in a moment." her brow creases even further, "When you've got Jack from the car? Who's Jack?"

Chris's eyes open wide, "Oh no!" he turns and runs. "The car's engine has been off for ages! Jack!"

Mattie follows, "Give me the keys."

"What?"

"Give me the keys!"

Chris passes them and watches her race down the steps at breakneck speed, "Be careful!"

"I'll be fine!"

"Where's your coat!"

"I'll be fine!"

He slips and slides down the steps, worried about his old friend, worried about the young lady who was taking a few risks for him. He's hardly a quarter of the way down when she's opening the door and climbing inside.

He eventually gets to the car and looks inside, "Is he okay?"

Mattie was lying behind Jack, legs hanging out of the door, a thick blanket between them. "I hope so, he'd got frigging cold."

Chris reaches in.

"STOP! Make sure you don't touch me!"

"What?"

"I'm hot."

"I watched you run but.."

"I've been overclocking at dangerous levels."

"Sorry?"

"Not computer savvy?"

"Sorry, I'm a bit slow with computers. I can apply skin packs on a synth and follow a cheat sheet with my laptop but that's about it."

Mattie smiles and gets up onto one elbow. "Good to know if I need a skin pack then."

The cogs turn slowly, "You're.. you're a synth like Rachael?"

"Not quite. I used to be human like you."

"You were?" he stands, opens the front passenger door and flops down onto the seat. He stares into the distance, focusing on nothing. "What a week. I used to collect broken synths to turn into mannequins for charity shops and the likes. Then one I'd rescued wakes up, starts calling me father. A neighbour's wakes up and does a runner. Twice. Now you're telling me you were born like me but now have a synth body? How is that even possible? Yasmin was right, I really have been living under a rock. I'm too old for all this. The world has moved on an left me at the station."

"No, no you're not. You just need someone to help you catch up."

"Marcus, the young lad that helps me, gave be a load of things to follow. It might as well be written in Mandarin, I don't understand any of it, just what it does."

"I teach. From time to time, not as much as I used to now one of my Angel sisters has taken up the role. I've seen it before. In your mind you're trying to build the roof before you've built the foundations and supporting walls."

"I think this old dog's too long in the tooth."

"Will you let me try? We could talk while your beard is being done."

There's a whimper.

"JACK!"

"Take him inside, he can share a basket with my old dogs, I'll let Leo know you're coming. I'll lay here for a moment and cool down."

[Chapter-16](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-16-2)


	16. Chapter 16

As he gets to the top of the steps Leo opens the door, "In you come Chris, how's Jack?"

"He's licked my face twice, I'm hoping that's a good sign."

"Mattie said she was monitoring his life signs, said they were weak when she got to the car but had improved when you left her to cool down."

"Did she phone you?"

"No head bump, our WiFi thing."

"You're a synth too?"

"Yeah. Post human like Mattie."

"Are Yasmin and I the only old school humans here?"

"No, Sophie and her husband are fabs, Mattie's parents, my father, Toby and his family, Mia's partner.. Synth wise, George, Mattie, Danny and.. well, there's half a dozen or so of us posts here tonight."

"Fabs?"

"Flesh and bone. I wouldn't worry about it, we're just like you where it counts."

"Oh. Okay."

He'd been following Leo through the inner doors onto the factory floor. It was crowded. There were hundreds of the big synth they'd seen clearing the road. They were chatting to each other. A few were talking to female versions of themselves. Clearly women but big, not your typical human proportions. Then he spots Fred talking to Fred. If he hadn't seen Yasmin's one first, known which jumper he had on, he'd not be able to tell them apart. From the glances Yasmin and Gesha were giving they looked to be exchanging notes on their partners.

Leo turns to see Chris, "Is Jack good with cats?"

"I have no idea, nobody around us has one. He's seen rabbits when out on walks, looked curious but didn't chase them. Why'd you ask?"

"We've got ours with us."

They clear the group.

"Heavens above!"

Leo grins, "It's a bit on the large size I know."

Chris can't believe the furry animal basket a number of pets were resting in. "I reckon most of my sisters and I could sleep in that!"

"Mattie gave James sizes in millimetres, he made it in centimetres. We had him lower the sides, but the base has a heater element so we left it as is. It's regulated to human body temperature, they love it."

"So would I!" Chris carefully bends down and places Jack on the bed.

A lady crouches down beside him, "Hello Chris, I'm Mia. I've got a drink for Jack, its got a few things in it that will help him recover faster." she places a hand on his and smiles.

"Thanks. I don't think he's up for drinking."

Mia puts a finger in the drink and works it into Jack's mouth. He whimpers and rolls. "Give him a moment to think about it."

Chris sits in it with him, gives Jack a good rub, "Come on old fella, I'm sorry I left you in there, I promise I'll never do it again."

He sees a pair of shoes approaching out of the corner of his eye and looks around and up at Rachael, just smiles.

"Father, his vital signs are okay, yours on the other hand are not. You need to calm down before the stress hurts you."

Leo turns, "His heart rate is still high but down from when I first saw him, he'll be fine."

"Thank you. Father, this is James. The James we passed clearing the snow."

An elf that had been standing behind Rachael leans and waves. "Hello."

"How can.."

"I'm a synth, I transferred my mind from my military body to this one to show you what we can do. Your arrival was unexpected but most fortunate."

Jack yawns and shuffles closer to the bowl, starts lapping it up.

"It was?"

"We were wondering what to make our Father Christmas design look like. Now we've got the real thing."

"I'm Chris Mast, not.."

"We know, but we now have a look. If you wouldn't mind being the pattern?"

"You want to copy me?"

"More use you as the starting point. And one of my brothers would switch bodies into it. Unless you want to be Santa and meet all the kids?"

Chris pinches his hand, "Not dreaming."

Jake barks the once.

"Haha, smart fella. Meet the kids?"

"The DCL Santa's Grotto? It's not built yet, trust me it will be spectacular."

He looks up at Rachael's excited face.

"In which case I'd love to. When does it start?"

"The first day of December."

"But that's only.."

"I know. But many James make light work."

Chris watches Jack drink even more. "You said _show you what we can do._ What can you do?"

"We're small but incredibly strong." he kneels down and puts a hand on the floor, "Step on my hand please Rachael."

She obliges and is lifted into the air, arms quickly out for balance. "Hehe!"

"Impressive."

"Our bodies are just scaled down versions of the bigger ones. And a face change and smaller hands of course. Gram for gram these bodies are stronger, faster and more agile." he lowers her slowly to the floor. Rachael takes his hand and smiles. It looked like she was a mother to a small child.

Mattie joins them, kneels down next to Jack, "He's looking much better now, good blood flow to the feet." she touches his paw pads, "Feel good too." she hands over the car keys.

"You could see it?"

"By looking in the thermal ranges, yes."

"Like one of those cameras you can use to check how inefficient a house is?"

"That's the idea."

"Amazing. My house could do with some insulation one day. I had the free survey, almost fell over when they said how much they wanted to fix things."

"Be our Santa and we'll give your house a makeover as payment."

"It's a bungalow. The only one left standing. The rest the Germans hit during the war."

"The Second World War?"

Chris frowns, "Know any others that would flatten houses in the UK?"

Elf James starts whistling.

Mattie chuckles, "Maybe I should give you a quick history lesson too, let you know what Commander Millican and the MUS Battalion got up to."

[Chapter-17](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-17-2)


	17. Chapter 17

Harun spins the 3D model around, "You're very quiet. No thoughts on it?"

Rachael looks lost, "I'm not sure. It makes me look very.. I'm not sure of the words to use."

"I do. Washed out."

Harun looks at Yasmin, "Any suggestions then?"

"Got web access?"

"Yeah."

"Dragon Queen Game of Thrones."

"TV series or online game?"

"The game."

Harun laughs, "Sweet, her character totally wipes out Danny and Toby when they play. But they keep going back for more."

"Do you know their handles?"

"Obiwang. Obiwan was taken, Mattie added the g. And dddddany. That's five d."

"Cool, I'll try have a game with them some time."

"Sweet. Which character d'you play?"

Yasmin grins softly and raises an eyebrow ever so slightly.

"Wait you.. Yasmin. Yazz's. Holy crap! It's you?"

"Shhh. Don't spoil the fun!"

"Does Mattie know?"

Yasmin nods.

Harun turns back and forth, totally overwhelmed with the secret shared. "Awesome! We should set up a game tonight."

"I won't be back home in time."

"Home? Who the fuck needs home? You're in a DCL building! World's best VR gaming rig thanks to Mats."

Chris roles his eyes, "Please don't tell me you put headsets on."

Harun turns to him, "Tried it?"

"No."

"Don't knock it until you have then. This isn't some cheep system I'm talking about. This is the nuts. This is the best you'll ever see."

"If you say so."

"I say so. Try it. You'll see." he clicks and drags data around his screen, "How's that?"

The model had updated, Rachael beamed, "Beautiful!" shame I can't have one of those.. things, they look cute.

"A dragon? Talk to George and Danny about that, they're in charge of AI toy design."

"You think they could make one?"

"The neck and tail doesn't look too different to a squiddie arm, so yeah, probably. Danny loves his cosplay stuff so would probably say yes if you agreed to come along to the next convention and do some promotional things. So, one down. Who's next?"

Chris motions, "Our Fred."

"And what would you like Fred?"

"We've spoken at length during the drive over. Long hair Yasmine can put into cornrows for me or I can brush back into a tight bunch."

"How long?"

Fred holds his hands apart.

"A couple of feet. Okay. The machine will take a lot longer with you, it has to straighten all your existing hair first, then we give you a close buzz cut, then the new hair is applied and given a frizz. It could be twelve hours or more."

Yasmin smiles, "He's worth every minute and penny."

"You know how long it takes to cornrow a full head?"

Yasmin points to her own head, smiles and nods.

"Stupid question, sorry, of course you do. That leaves one to go."

Chris sits back in his chair, "You know the outline requirements, amaze me."

"You want me to mock it up now?"

"No, just wake me up when it's all done. I'll probably fall asleep soon after it starts I'm so worn out."

"Okay. I'll ask Fred and Gesha to come down and start the power mod procedures if you want? Rachael and Fred you'll need to power down."

Rachael frowns, "Will I not experience the hair change?"

"Not unless you want to be woken up for it. And there'll not be a lot to see from your point of view. We could video it so you can watch afterwards?"

"Yes please then." she powers down.

Fred does the same.

"They're keen. They didn't have to do it immediately." Harun does a face palm, "Should have said, we've only got one hair machine. So you'll need to be here a whole day. Her's will be the fastest."

Chris looks at Yasmin, "Ladies and friends first, Rachael, Fred then me?"

"Sure."

Harun looks at his watch, then a web page, "If you get back upstairs in the next twelve minutes you can watch an old film with the others. And it looks like you may have the deciding vote. It's a split decision between Rogue One and Passenger. The Sam's have all voted for Passenger by the looks of it. Want to take Fred along? The run time and Rachael's hair will be about the same."

Yasmin has her lips in a pout moving left and right. "Mmmm." her lips are licked, "Romsci or Famsci, which to pick?"

Fred Elster walks into the room, a box identical to the one Sophie had stored ice skates in hanging from each hand, "Sorry, I'd rather get both power procedures done before you start on the hair."

"Hi Fred, sure, however you want to do it mate."

Gesha enters seconds later, two drip stands in tow, each with multiple bags of synth fluid hanging from the tops. "Hello again. Are they ready?"

[Chapter-18](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-18-2)


	18. Chapter 18

Mattie joined them just as Fred was getting the first of the food processor upgrade kits out. "Hold up. They don't need to see the parts. I've seen both films several times, want to come and see what else we've got? We've got a stack of toys here."

Yasmin turns and whispers to Chris, "You'll be able to stream them all at mine when you join us for dinner."

"Okay. Thanks Mattie, sure."

"We've got a load in the WAR room next door, come have a look."

"War?"

"We Are Ready. It was nicknamed that for other reasons, is now We are ready for Christmas, thanks to some great designs from the family."

"That's good to hear. Speaking of designs, Harun told Rachael that George and Danny might be able to make her a dragon. Something about cosplay?"

"He did? Why a dragon?"

"The look she's going for, the Dragon Queen from a game or TV show."

"Nice! Come see some toys." she gets to the open door, turns to see Yasmin still stood by Fred and Gesha, "Yazz, you're not staying to watch are you?"

"Sorry, no." she does a shuffle run to join them.

As they enter the corridor Wall-E rolls past with BB8. They beep to each other.

"Wow! Cool toys!" Yasmin stands and watches them get onto charge stations.

"Their not in the toy collection, they're family."

"Family?"

"Thankfully you don't speak beep."

"Why? What did they say?"

"BB8's got a frigging potty mouth like R2D2."

"Beep boop boop bop waaaaa!"

"Likewise B! No, no I'm sure she wouldn't, she's got a partner, Fred."

Yasmin walks over and kneels down, kisses BB8 on the head, "You're cute!"

His head starts to spin and circle around his body in an increasingly bigger orbit. "Boooop!" it gets faster and faster until it's like a spaceship racing around the equator of a small planet.

Mattie chuckles, "You've done it now. You'll have to battle Sophie to the death."

"What?"

"He wants a change of owner now."

Wall-E hums to himself.

"Can you tell him to stop? I don't want his head to fly off!"

"B! Calm down, stop showing off!"

The droids head continues to spin.

"B!" He ignores her.

She walks over and kneels by Yasmin. She talks in a calm and hushed voice. "I'm certain you can hear me over the noise of your servos. Stop this or I'll overclock and grab your head, lock it away in a draw until the lake thaws."

The high pitch whine of his servos audibly lowers, his head starts to climb as the orbit slows.

Mattie stands, "A droid wanting to see Sophie skate when she's perfected her routine will do anything it's asked. Let's leave them both to charge."

Chris gives them one last look, "Why are their charging points there?"

"We've got the sleeping quarters on this level."

"In a factory?"

"Some shit went down a few years ago. It made us think about what would happen if we got stuck here long term. We were gifted an _amazing_ place in France by a young man that wanted to start over. Our primary architect James started taking inspiration from it and extended the building downwards. This building hides some amazing technology. Shame the lake's frozen over, you've got to come back in the spring."

Chris looks at the doors that line the walls of the long corridor. "How many can it sleep?"

"As we're under ground he made the rooms a bit smaller than Petits Anges. We've got twenty rooms. If things got really bad you could sleep four comfortably in each standard bed, have more to a room with fold down beds."

A door opens and a giggling Sandra steps out, Champagne glass in hand. "Sure babe. Oh, Hello Mattie, another guest?" she pulls the zip on her orange jump suit a bit higher.

"Yeah, this is Chris and.."

"What's wrong Gesha? I can't detect your signals."

"This isn't Gesha."

Sandra looks confused, "Same model different name?"

"No, this is Yasmin. She's a fab."

"No way! Silas! Get a dressing gown on and get yourself out here!"

Yasmin frowns, "You said detect signals? You're a synth like Mattie?"

"No, I'm synth, but I started off basic Persona. Silas gave me every mod possible. Then with help from the others I became fully awake."

There's a voice from behind the door, "And she keeps me fully awake."

"Silas!"

"Sorry babes." he steps around the door pulling the gowns belt tight.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Yasmin's jaw drops. "SILAS CAPEK!"

"Gesha?"

"Frigging hell, you know each other?"

Sandra turns to see him, "Silas this isn't Gesha, she's a fab. Like you."

Silas looks nervously at the floor then at the woman, "Um, how could you know me?"

"I bought my Fred from you. Five years ago."

"I've not been in that game for years, legit licensed mods and ink these days."

"It was you. And Fred will remember every detail of the sale."

"Sorry love, you've got me confused with someone else."

"Same voice, same looks, given the time that's passed. Either it was you or you've been copied. And if you were copied Fred would know he'd been sold by another synth."

Mattie puts her hands on her hips, "Why's your heart rate up to one sixty two Silas?"

"Just had great sex."

"It's been _rising_ not dropping. You fucker!"

"It wasn't me! I swear on my life!"

"Careful what you say, you know we've got a lawyer in the family, a few James that would gladly play judge and executioner. If you got past that bitch Hester. And our equipment could extract all your memories and lay them bare."

"Then get it. I've nothing to hide."

"I will. If you've gone behind the family's back and put us at risk you're a dead man. Hester came close to being terminated for doing the same, people's tolerance for BS has gone. The James may be slower than you at running but they've got stamina you don't."

"Get the bloody kit! It. Wasn't. Me!"

Mattie flashes a sarcastic smile, "I'll call that bluff. It's on its way. With a James who'll guard this door, another who'll guard Fred and Rachael while Fred, Gesha and Harun work."

"You're confining me to my room?"

"You've been in there all frigging day frigging! A few more hours won't kill you. Ha. Maybe they will."

Yasmin's expression had been changing, "Listen, I was shocked to see him here, but let's not get carried away."

There's a bing from a cargo lift at the far end of the corridor and the door slides back to reveal two James. The box one carried looked tiny in his massive hands.

The one not carrying the box steps around the other, links fingers. There's a clunking noise from within and a whine as powerful servo's bring his big hands slowly together. "I crushed an automaton's head between these when they broke Commander Millican. If you've been up to no good.."

Silas looks at Mattie accusingly, "What have you told them? I want a fair test!"

The large synth steps very close and pins Silas's head between his forehead and the door frame. "You may have helped get us out of the warehouse, but so help me. Mattie only requested the box. FDQ. For you. And since you don't look to be on your back ceasing to be and in need of an emergency backup there can only be one reason to.."

"But.."

"Shut up I'm talking. I could lean forward and have the door frame split your head in half. They say once a scumbag always a scumbag. But I, we, thought you needed a second chance."

Yasmin is now crying, "Please stop this!"

Mattie shakes her head, "We have one thing that holds us all together. Trust. If that Hester was a cat she'd have used eight lives. Why Leo gave her chances I'll never understand."

Silas waits a few seconds before daring to talk. "Don't I get another chance?"

"Are you admitting guilt?"

"No!"

"Let's do this then."

James takes the pressure off allowing him to move. "In you get."

Sandra follows him in. The second MUS steps to the other doorway to guard Fred and Rachael.

[Chapter-19](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-19-2)


	19. Chapter 19

Yasmin and Chris found themselves in the corridor alone except for the two monstrously large synths.

She wipes her face with the palms of both hands, "God I wish I never came here. I don't want anyone to die."

Chris looked blankly at the door, "I'm with you there. What a bloody nightmare. If Fred isn't a custom synth there's more than one copy of him out there. It could be dozens. Hundreds, or thousands. So what if this Silas sold one on to you?"

"I know. It was the longest sale ever. I must have been there almost two hours answering questions."

Chris turns and frowns at her, "What do you mean?"

"It was like a job interview. I just wanted to hand him the money and go."

"Why so long?"

"He said owning my first synth wasn't a trivial matter, he had to know I was the right sort of person."

"The right sort? Nobody gets a check like that?"

"They don't?"

"I've not owned one. But I've spoken to dozens that do. It's a quick signature on a form, read a few words out, hand shake and it's yours."

"That's not how it went with me."

Chris turns his whole body to face her. "Tell me something. When you said you'd trade him in if the right fella came along, was that a fib?"

Yasmin looks at the floor, "Um."

"Yasmin? It could be important."

She looks up, her face full of emotion, "How do you tell someone that you're madly deeply in love with an appliance! They'd think you were off with the fairies! Certifiably nuts!"

The door opens, Mattie waves for her to come in, "You too Chris."

Inside she sees an emotional Sandra, arms wrapped around Silas. "What did your machine find?"

"Silas did sell him to you."

"Shit! I'm so sorry Silas!"

Silas had his back to her, "It's okay, don't stress."

"IT'S NOT OKAY!"

Mattie puts both hands up, "Whoa, calm down. It is okay. Silas did the right thing."

"Admit his guilt so that one of those brutes can crush him? How's that right!"

"Breathe. Count to ten and let me talk. Okay? Good. Silas was approached by someone saying they had _our_ Fred, did he want to deal or not. The man had him in his car and wanted to do the sale on the spot. Silas moved money from several accounts to one in order to pay the man, wanting to get Freddie back to the family. He was duped. Yes he had an extremely rare Fred, just not ours. He sold him to you at a massive loss. James relayed audio to me. Silas interviewed you as he wanted to see that you'd go above and beyond normal ownership to keep Fred, not let him go to any other. He didn't want Fred in the wrong hands basically."

Yasmin rubs her forehead, a major stress headache building, "A loss? How big a loss?"

Silas still had his back to her, "Almost enough to bankrupt the business love."

"Then why not sell him to someone else for a higher price?"

"Didn't you hear Mattie? He had to go to the right person. And that was you. Luckily I found you at the right time."

"What do you mean?"

"How do you think you found out about me?"

"A friend told me."

"Karon."

"You know her?"

"Fixed up her synth for free."

"Hang on. Are you saying you did a bit of social engineering, picked me, rather than me pick Fred?"

"No doll, Fred picked you."

"Fred Elster?"

"No your Fred."

"But he wasn't awake then. Was he?"

"No. Yet given several million faces to look at he still picked yours. Believe in weird coincidences?"

"I didn't a week ago. Why hide it?"

"Everyone had invested in me. Helped me out. George was a diamond, Danny too. To see over a hundred grand go overnight, not be able to buy new inks, cloth for the tailoring, I didn't want to go to them and say 'Hay, you know that fuck up of a Silas that used to fence stolen synths, turned a page? He's back.' I could have lost my Sandy, and I wasn't going to risk that for anything."

"So how'd you get out of the mess?"

"I went hungry, did a special offer on black only inking, made some outfits out of the few bits I had left. Every penny I made went back into slowly building stock and bank balance back up. I lost a few customers along the way, but the loyal regulars stayed."

Mattie does a shoulder shrug and happier smile, "What people will do for love eh?"

"So he's not going to be harmed?"

"Far from it! Silas wanted your Fred off the market with someone that would keep him forever. Hence the long interview."

Yasmin walked around the room to look Silas in the face. He looked back with sorry red eyes. "Fred really picked me?"

"Yeah."

"And he wasn't given any hints that I was the one to choose?"

"Nope. I was pretty shocked when he turned the screen around and said This One. I'd delivered the dolly to the Hawkins house that became Gesha."

"You knew she was my twin?"

"Copy maybe. But I could hardly say something without proof."

"Copy?"

"It was done with Gemma. Anything done once can be repeated."

"What was done?"

Mattie steps around them all to see Yasmin. "My father in law invented synths. His team were all pretty crap at the looks. So he joined up with some Uni students doing research on the projected looks of children."

"What do you mean by projected?"

"Forwards into adulthood. Does the name David Elster ring any bells from the past?"

"No."

"George Millican?"

"No."

"Edwin Hobb?"

"Mum said she didn't like him."

"Figures. He's not around any more thankfully."

"Old age?"

"Not quite. You've seen the quality of the bedrooms, want to check out some toys? Sorry Silas, we'll leave you to calm down."

"Cheers doll."

As Mattie opens the door the large synth outside leans in, "Sorry Silas. I'm going back upstairs."

"Don't worry mate, it all worked out fine."

[Chapter-20](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-20-2)


	20. Chapter 20

Yasmin is still in a bit of a mess emotionally when they step into the other room. "Would you really have let one of the big synths kill him?"

Mattie closes the door and shakes her head, "Frigging hell no. Though if you repeat this to anyone I mat have to kill my second human. I called his bluff, thankfully he didn't get to call mine."

Yasmin looks horrified, "You've killed someone?"

"I'm not proud of it, self defence of sorts. An escaped terrorist kidnapped me, drugged me and did a botched C section to steal my twins. I came that close to giving up on everything. Then the animals showed me where they'd been hidden."

"Animals?"

"Yeah, he'd had taken me to an abandoned vets, I don't think me getting out figured in his plans. The little food there wouldn't have kept me going long. I helped the dogs and cats, didn't have anything else to do. They returned the favour. Finding the babies safe and sound was.. words can't describe it. Euphoric doesn't come close."

"I bet it was fun watching them grow up."

"The bits I got to see. I was technically dead for a lot of it. Oy you lot, wake up!"

The room full of toys slowly comes to life.

A small K9 races across the floor followed by a smaller BB8, Wall-E and R2D2. They change course to avoid everyone's feet. A small toy Lexus, police car, ambulance and fire engine appear from under another table, lights flashing and siren noises playing. A small teddybear and giraffe start moving on the table top. A model train blows a whistle and starts to pull out of the station. Tiny drones take off and flying in formation, lights flashing.

Mattie looks around, "Where are you dolls?"

She lifts the black cloth surrounding the table legs and laughs, "Yazz, come look at this."

Yasmin gets down onto her knees and takes a peek under the cloth, "Oh my. A dolls tea party at the cinema."

One of the dolls turns and holds out a solid plastic cup, "Would you like some tea?"

Yasmin accepts the cup and pretends to drink, "Lovely, just what I needed. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm Holly-Anne. Who are you?"

"I'm Yasmin."

"Would you like some cake Yasmin?"

"I'm fine thanks."

"Okay." the doll turns back to watch the small cinema screen.

Mattie lets the cloth drop.

Yasmin smiles at Mattie, eyes wide open. She mouths the words 'Can you lip read?'

Mattie nods.

'Are they awake? Like Rach and Fred?'

"No. They're like chatbots. They'll learn key words they can repeat back in context,

but not understanding. They've got an Infineon Aurix TC275 processor for all the movement control and signal processing, a quad core SBC for all the speech to and from text and AI."

"Are they good? I only know about the bits in Playstation and Xbox."

"Yeah, pretty good. The Aurix was used in cars for years. Now it's cropping up in all sorts of projects."

"The doll said she was Holly-Anne?"

"Yeah, a miniature of Toby's wife."

There's a whine of tiny servos and Yasmin turns to see a one foot high gorilla walking towards her on his knuckles. "Oh my! WANT! It's _so_ cute!"

Mattie smiles, "One of the James designed him after one of his wildlife conservation trips. He'd sat down in a forrest to work on a strap that had broken, a family of wild gorillas strolled up and started fussing over him."

"What a privilege. How much are they?"

"They're part of a licensed set we did for the WWF. They get ninety percent of the profits, they're..."

"Sorry, you said a _set_?"

"Yeah, there's a baby rhino, lion cub and elephant too. They'll be about somewhere. I suspect the cars have knocked their pretend watering hole across the floor again."

Yasmin feels something pull her top and looks down to see the gorilla starting to attempt a climb. "You're so adorable." The gorilla climbs her sleeve and wraps its arms around hers. "Shall we find the others?"

Mattie smirks, "I'm glad they have the same affect on you."

"Feeling like a child again?"

"Yeah."

The two start to crawl slowly on hands on knees around the tables.

Yasmin looks back, suddenly embarrassed, "You're very quiet Chris."

"Don't mind me, I'm admiring the fire engine. Gosh it takes me back."

Mattie turns to see him, "You had one when you were a boy?"

"I had the real thing as an adult. I was the driver."

"You're another fireman?"

"Another?"

"Little Max's father was, they've all flown back to America. If you ever wanted to see a miracle, him coming back was it."

There's a childish sqwee noise from Yasmin, "Chris you've got to see these!"

The lion cub rolled back onto its belly, yawned and blinked at the three large children on the floor. Its processing had no concept of age. Image recognition told it the human shapes had heads on hands, elbows on the floor. An audience. The cute routine should take priority.

Chris smiled at the baby elephant sat on its rear, ears flapping and trunk waving. "They're very realistic. Like the real thing shrunk down."

"That's because they are. Their bone structure is a scale replica, the original recorded with something like a MRI scan. George's expertise."

"Hmm."

"Penny for it?"

"Your big army synth said something about not needing to back up the gentleman in the bedroom. You're what you've described as post human synth. Could you do the same for Jack?"

"Frigging hell, should have seen that one coming. No idea. We've not even backed up our own pets. There's a problem." she rolls onto her side to see them both, props her head up on a hand again, "How the frig do they think? I mean I could back you up, have a poke through the data to see it looks valid, load you into the VR system for a run around, help you come to terms with a new body. All because you think, talk and walk like a human. How the frig do you do that with an animal? Especially when some aren't that self conscious. Put some in front of a mirror and they'll try and fight their own reflection."

"Pass."

Yasmin laughs at the baby rhino frolicking, "I want a set. They're all totally adorable." she sits up and strokes the baby gorilla's back, "You're all coming home with me if Mattie will accept Mastercard or a bank transfer."

"You've not had the price yet."

"I don't care. Can we see this VR system of yours?"

Mattie helps her take the baby gorilla from her arm and places it on the table. It raises its arms for a cuddle.

"Aw, I'm sorry! I'll be back for you soon!"

Mattie smiles, "It's not conscious, that's just a programmed response."

"I'll still be back."

[Chapter-21](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-21-2)


	21. Chapter 21

They find Sophie in the VR machine, George and Danny stood either side.

Mattie frowns, "What are you up to Teeny?"

"Testing."

"Testing? Testing what?"

"Danny and George wanted a second opinion on how well a design works."

"What do you think then?"

"It's pretty cool."

"Mind if I jump in?"

"Yes I do mind! Spoilers!"

Mattie sits down and flops backwards, pixels swirl around the VR.

"End program!"

"Oh come on Teeny!"

"No! Go away! SPOILERS!"

"Keep your knickers on!"

"GO AWAY!"

"What was it?"

"I'm not saying! Go! NOW!"

"Computer resume program."

"COMPUTER END PROGRAM DISCONNECT MATTIE!" Sophie lifts the VR headset. "George can you unstrap me?"

"Certainly."

Sophie gets out and races to Mattie, "Why would you want to spoil things?"

"Easy Teeny."

"I'm a grown woman stop treating me like your baby sister!" she uses both hands and an elbow to touch her sisters three power down points. Mattie hadn't seen it coming and slumps back into the chair as her custom power down sound plays.

Danny shakes his head, "That wasn't very nice Soph."

Sophie goes a bit red, "Power her up when I've left the room. When I say NO it means NO, not totally ignore me and carry on!"

Danny looks flabbergasted, waits for Sophie to leave the room, "What on earth was that all about?"

George shakes his head and shrugs, "No idea. They usually get on really well. Something made her snap. Sorry about this Chris, Yasmin, you're not seeing the family in the best of lights."

Danny powers Mattie back up, "What was that all about?"

"I was messing about earlier, said I'd leave the lake lights on full power to thaw it out so we can give a demo of our little project, she said no and I kept on talking and turned them on. I was only teasing. I turned them off soon after."

George gives her a fatherly look, "She's been practicing every day, why do that?"

Mattie shrugs, "Maybe being stuck here is getting to me. No Gertie flights, no bombing around in Bart, no.."

"Get James to bring the hovercraft out and go for a spin."

"They're all deployed overseas."

"No they're not."

"They are."

"The official DCL built ones. Not James's prototype, the one they dropped into the bay with."

Mattie's eyes open impossibly wide as she jumps to her feet, "Frigging hell! Where is it?"

"The dark green shipping container at the rear of the factory."

"Awesome! Right. Quick VR demo then I'm taking Santa for a spin, then Yazz. As you asked about it you can go first Chris."

"You want me to climb into that?"

"Yup. My machine's not for your average VR user."

Chris watches George do up all the straps, pull the visor down. "It's all nothing but white?"

Mattie's pixels start to swirl around the empty space, "Not unlike outside then. Which gives me an idea. How'd you like to experience being a real Santa? Sleigh, reindeer, the works."

"In here?"

"Sure. Close your eyes a minute while I get to work. I'll overclock and design directly with the API."

"The what?"

"Application programming interface. It's how programs talk to each other."

"You're a program?"

"Yes and no. I can't talk and work super fast, whistle a tune a moment and sit down."

"On what?"

"Imagine there's a bench right behind you."

Chris get's a couple of verses into a tune when Mattie asks him to open his eyes. He panics a little, "I'm okay at the top of a ladder, you didn't say I'd be in a sleigh above the clouds! This isn't a video game!"

Mattie rests a hand on his, "Take the reins. Give them something to do."

As he does so the sleigh turns downwards into a dive, drops through the first layer of cloud. He screams, "I have no idea what I'm doing!"

"Make some mistakes!"

"What?!"

"Do something and learn from it!"

"Like what!"

"ANYTHING"

Chris pulls hard and the reindeer pull upwards, keep pulling upwards.

"We'll do a loop the loop if you keep that up."

He backs off a bit until they level out. "I think I might have had an accident."

"You didn't crash."

"Not that sort of accident."

"I'm not smelling anything."

"Good."

"Give it another go. I want you knocking the snow off the chimney tops."

"What?"

"I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters. Know which movie that comes from?"

"Of course."

"Chimneys await you young Jedi."

"You're mad. Did anyone tell you that?"

"My brother quite a few times. A few students with balls. Soph too. Come on, move it."

Chris dropped the sleigh into a dive and plummeted thousands of virtual feet in a matter of seconds.

"You might want to start levelling out a bit!"

"You want the snow off the tops."

"Level out.."

"Yes but.."

"You're still dropping too fast!"

"You want me to womp it."

"Still too fast! Pull up!"

Too late, Chris braced for impact despite telling himself none of this was real. They raced through house after virtual house, all copies of each other with identical content, first through attics, then first floors before levelling off at the ground floors. "Haha! I think house crashing is more fun than knocking snow off chimneys. The quality has been amazing. I think we should give Yasmin a go."

"Computer, ten second disassemble." The colours dropped away, shaded objects changed to wire frame fills, then to transparent wire frame. Then it was all gone, only the white they'd started with. "Computer five minute showreel please."

Yasmin got a different experience. "Wow.

Can this link to a games console?"

"Which one? We can emulate the lot. Everything from the first Atari to the latest consoles."

"PS7VR then."

"Sure. Which game?"

"Guess."

"Okay."

Yasmin turned around slowly to take in the view. "How.."

"How what?"

"How do you get so much detail? I've visited some of the game designers that put this together, they didn't code this much."

"Fractal maths helps with the upscaling."

"And the physics? It's.. just so much more realistic. Damn. Playing this back home will suck on my TV."

"You earn from playing against other players don't you?"

"Yeah."

"How about we make you one of these and you give us a share of your profits to pay it back?"

"That could take years, this technology doesn't look cheep."

"It's not. But you continuously kicking a couple of arses in the games and having a blast appeals to my dark side. And your Fred can connect in the same way I do once I've shown him how."

"So he can play games with me? Wow!"

"Not just play games, create whole new worlds. In theory we could cluster the two machines together if your Internet connection is fast enough, do joint world building. Computer load Holly-Anne's Star Trek universe."

"Oh. My. God!"

"Good eh? Computer dress me in the gold captains uniform."

Yasmin was getting used to the exoskeleton and walks over to Mattie, "The detail in the material. It's .. it's like every little bit is being calculated."

"That's because it is. We had code called The Tree of Life that gave those who ran it a virtual experience. Mia's not a coder but somehow it grew in her mind to something bigger. We merged it with my uni code, added a ton of stuff from Emily. It's now on its sixth version. It's got more smarts, only renders appropriate detail on things that are being looked at or are somehow interacting."

"Interacting?"

"Yeah. Computer, for the duration of this simulation your name will be.. Valerie."

"Confirmed."

"Computer how far is it to the nearest gas cloud?"

"At warp ten twenty eight seconds."

Yasmin goes to ask then realises there had been a voice change. Mattie wasn't talking to the AI VR interface but now the emulation of the ship's computer.

"Plot a course to get us a safe distance from it please. Engage." Mattie chuckles as they go to warp, "I wasn't much of a Trekkie years ago, but now I love that word."

Yasmin walks around the bridge as they travel. "What sort of server runs this?"

"A hybrid Danny designed. Multicore ARM chips fronts enough GPU and FPGA hardware to sink a battle ship. All cooled using synth fluid."

"What are the running costs like?"

"High. And you'd need three phase mains at home. But we could help reduce that with some solar tiles and a Tesla battery. Watch this. Computer, arm one photon torpedo and target the outer edge of the gas cloud."

Yasmin turns to the screen, "You're going to blow it up?"

"To give you a demo of the particle physics processing. Our PPP. Computer fire torpedo!"

Yasmin watches it emerge from under the bridge and race into the distance.

"You might want to sit down and buckle up."

"It's going to get bumpy?"

"Hella bumpy! Move!"

The torpedo ignites the cloud and it erupts into a beautiful series of different coloured explosions. Yasmin is transfixed, "That's.. beautiful."

The first of the shock waves hits the ship and Yasmin is thrown backwards onto the floor. The acceleration limits on the exo' make it a painless landing.

"Haha! This is crazy. Good crazy. Could people connect from the Internet? If so Yazz's World could add a whole new experience for premium customers. Could I create games for this?"

"If you can describe it, sure. Valerie end program and run Emily's construction trainer sequence."

Yasmin had slowly been raised into the default standing position, sees a virtual woman running through different interfaces, then instruct the system with voice alone. "Cool, I don't need to know any code?"

"No, if you can describe what you want that's enough."

"Awesome! I'll take one."

"Cool. When the film's over I'll ask Danny to get the sintering machine printing. If we can let you take it home with you will depend on Danny being able to put a computing platform and the optics together. That might have to ship separately."

Yasmin whispers, "I'm in no hurry to get home if a couple of those rooms are free. Chris's place is warmer but still not great, he could do with chilling out here for a bit. He's been a true gent."

There's a laugh and "Thank you."

"Shoot. Are you standing right next to me Chris?"

"A few feet away. Close enough to hear your side of the conversation."

Yasmin waves at Mattie, "I've seen enough, I'm sold."

[Chapter-22](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-22-2)


	22. Chapter 22

Chris wakes in the luxurious bed and feels Jack at his feet. "You okay boy?"

There's no answer. He sits up and watches, sees Jack breathing. Was he imagining things or did Jack really have a smile on his face? The beds were amazing, he'd felt like he was sleeping on a cloud. He suddenly remembered a fragment of his dream in which he'd done just that. His VR experience and comfortable bed had combined to give him a pleasant night. Thankfully nightmares about losing his best friend hadn't played a part. After the hovercraft ride he'd been well and truly exhausted.

A note is slid under the door.

"I'm awake!"

"May I enter?"

"One moment!"

Chris slides out of bed and wraps up in the thick warm dressing gown, unlocks the door.

"Hello James."

"Mattie asked me to slide the note under your door. Breakfast will be served in half an hour. And Rachael is up and asking for you."

"Wonderful! And Yasmin's Fred?"

"Harun sends his apologies, the hair Fred wants was a bigger challenge than he expected. It should be done in the next hour and a half."

"Okay, I'll shower and dress."

James turns and picks up something from the corridor floor, "Your laundry sir."

"Ah! Thanks, it would help. We don't want to frighten the children."

"Sir?"

"I'm fit. But saggy and very wrinkled in places. You don't want Father Saggymas wandering around in his birthday suit."

"Oh. I see sir. It's not a problem us synths suffer from. You should talk to Mia."

"Why?"

"A change of diet and Thermage treatment might help. It's keeping the Hawkins family very young looking."

"Okay, I'll have a chat."

"I'll see you at breakfast then."

As James walks away another door opens.

"Chris?"

"Morning Yasmin. Sleep well?"

"Boy oh boy. My credit card won't know what's hit it when I'm done here. The WWF toys, one of those beds, who knows what else we'll see?"

"Indeed. On the trip over you'd said technology advances had taken a holiday, still feel that way?"

She laughs, "Yeah. Only we've landed in the resort it's holidaying in! Are you decent?"

"In a gown."

Yasmin steps out of her room into the corridor, "Can I come in?"

"Sure."

She closes the door behind her, "Mattie's comment about thawing the lake, coming back in the spring, I think there's something game changing down there under the ice."

"Like what?"

She shrugs, "Who knows. But if the technology I've seen so far is anything to go by it's major."

"So come back in the spring. Don't go sneaking off trying to find it. If you're caught Mattie will likely deny you the toys."

Yasmin's shoulders drop. "True. And if I don't take Guss, Dumbo, Rhonda and Simba home I'll be _gutted_."

"You've named them already?"

"Yeah. They're _so adorable_."

The last two words being said like a small child made Chris laugh, "They are rather. James said Rachael was up and asking for me, I'd like to shower and dress, go find her."

"Oh, sure, I'll do the same. Knock on my door when you're ready."

"Okay."

Jack whimpered.

"Ah. What to do for you?"

He picks up the phone and it plays a dial tone immediately.

"Wednesday Sumners, how can I be of assistance Chris?"

"Hi. My dog Jack needs to go to the toilet? Only I'm not dressed yet."

"Not a problem, I've just asked one of the James to come to your room. Anything else I can assist you with?"

"That will be all thanks. How long will he be?"

"You should hear the lift any second now."

"Oh, great, thanks."

With Jack following the MUS Chris jumps into the shower. He jokingly says "Computer play music" and is somewhat shocked when it obliges.

"Computer?"

"Yes Chris."

"Do you have a name?"

"My official title is Building Management One. BMO for short."

"Do you listen to everything said?"

"I listen but don't remember. Unless you prefix the sentence with a recognised name that engages conversation mode."

"What if I said I need to buy myself a better computer and learn how to type properly?"

"My sentence deconstruction routines would work out the word computer did not start an instruction and discard the input."

"What else can you do?"

"Start phone and video calls, adjust temperature controls, air conditioning, lights, television, HiFi, open doors.."

"Which doors?"

"Ones you're authorised to go through."

"That makes sense. Can you start a call to Yasmin's room?" What had looked like an ordinary mirror becomes a bright display showing a bubble covered Yasmin, "PHONE NOT VIDEO!"

"I apologise." the video goes leaving only sound.

Yasmin can be heard over the noise of the water, "What the fuck! Chris! Who on earth wants to make a video call from a shower!"

BMO answers, "Silas and Sandra."

"They shower in different rooms?"

"When they're free, which they usually are."

"Why would she.. actually don't answer that, I can imagine. Why put a video screen in here?"

"Some like to catch up on the news."

"And a camera?"

"It's built into the monitor."

"They sound like a bunch of perverts if you ask me!"

"Only Silas and Sandra use it in that way."

Chris chuckles, "And now us, in error."

"I will adjust my programming to default to audio only until requested to show video."

"A wise move. Sorry if you got a glimpse of Father Saggymas Yasmin."

"It was a bit of a shock, like seeing Richard in the play Dead Funny. He strips off and has Eleanor give him a massage, avoiding his bits I hasten to add."

Chris nods, "Think of Fred, try and block me from your mind."

"Too late, it's like Inception, once the idea is in.."

"Great movie!"

"Awesome movie! Leo's a favourite! Um Chris?"

"Yes?"

"You've not used that razor that was in your hand yet have you?"

"Not yet, got a bit distracted by your fine figure to be honest."

"Good. DON'T SHAVE. Hair extensions remember?"

"Just as well you got video for a second then."

"I'm going to rinse off and find a hair dryer."

BMO cuts in, "I can assist with that. Tell me when you're ready. Remain in the shower area."

"Okay?"

Chris quickly washes, curious as to what would happen next. "Done here."

"Done this side too. What next?"

"Could you both stand central to the shower base, feet apart and arms away from your sides but not touching the walls or glass."

"Okay."

"Likewise."

There's noise from above as their ceilings part open, a rush of very warm air hits them, a draft can be felt at feet level as the air is extracted from the space.

Yasmin has her eyes shut tight, "Wow! Full body dryer! WANT!"

Chris chuckles, "I think you'll be taking that credit card to breaking point."

"Won't I just! Holy crap! I'm dry already!"

"Me too!"

"Get dressed and give me a knock."

[Chapter-23](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-23-2)


	23. Chapter 23

Chris and Yasmin find Rachael in the full WAR room, about to be given a gift.

Mattie smiles at the baby dragon in the box in Sophie's arms, "It's smaller than I'd expected. Very very cute though."

"George said the elephant skeleton was a good starting point for the body, a change of feet easy. They put less muscle and flesh on the front limbs, lengthened the rear legs, used squiddie sections for neck and tail. And I helped design a new head. What do you think?"

"I like the shape, not sure about the colour."

"Danny said that's easy to change with different anodising."

"Cool. Sorry about me being a twat. I'd been going a bit snow-locked-in-crazy. Nice work guys. How long will it take to finish Dan?"

"A couple of hours to dismantle, anodise and reassemble. Three hours maybe? Want to help finish the coding Mats?"

"Yeah."

"Cool, we'll add the mini flame thrower then."

"What the frig? Flames?"

"Don't worry, they can only be activated outdoors. Or when enabled by the primary owner on a per flame basis."

Rachael puts a hand on the baby dragon's head, "I like it just the way it is. I like orange and yellow."

Emily smiles, she'd done the colouring.

Danny nods slowly, "Thanks, that saves me a few hours, Mattie just needs to help extend the code base, make it behave more like a dragon and less like an elephant."

"Do you need it back for the code now?"

"No, you hold onto it for a bit, see what the whole look is like, hair, dress and dragon."

Rachael beams, "Thank you Danny."

"You're welcome. Can't wait to see the MCM crowd response. I think they'll go a bit nuts."

Cindy and Gem James were jointly carrying a large flat box. "We made Rachael the Dragon Queen dress."

"Already?" Mattie goes to take a look, "Frigging hell! The James she's taken a fancy too is going to love her in that. Maybe it's time to give up the camouflage shirt and get back into a dress. What d'you think Teeny?"

"If you do I will too. Dressing up was fun. If Cindy and James can make something, I didn't pack anything fancy."

Cindy smiles, "We have some fabrics, we had this drone dropped, we could get more?"

Sophie looks worried, "Drone? It's not warming up outside is it?"

"No, if anything it's getting even colder. The clouds have gone and wind dropped but it's way too cold to snow."

"Phew."

Rachael swings shoulders back and forth, hands down together with fingers linked, "Can I go and change?"

"Be our guest."

Cindy takes the dress from the box and drapes it over an arm, "Let me help."

Chris grins as his daughter hurries from the room. Daughter. His world had been turned upside down. Only what was on top was now better than what had been there before. In the last 28 hours he'd got a new neighbour, a synth who called him father, a synth that would help train him and a stack of new friends. And a bit of an awakening regarding technology advancements. Holiday? Not here.

Yasmin and Chris take a seat at the large conference table with everyone else.

"Full English Chris?"

"Please Sophie. Father Christmas needs a bit of padding out don't you think?"

Sophie only grins and gets a hot plate.

"And you Yasmin?"

"Good morning everyone. I'll try some breakfast please Sophie."

They all turn to see who'd spoken, loudly but not quite shouting.

"FRED!" Yasmin almost falls backward trying to get out of her seat in a hurry.

"Harun's machine ran out of filament with just this patch to do." he turns to show a strip around his right ear.

"It looks like you've shaved it deliberately, I love it!"

"Thank you."

Sophie hands him a plate, "Take a seat Fred, breakfast is better while it's still hot."

"Thank you. What would you recommend?"

"Everything. Take a bit of each and see what you like."

Plate loaded with one of everything Fred cautiously raises a fork of sausage and egg to his mouth and hesitates.

George sees it, "Fred there's no need to worry, our Fred will have checked you're now fluid and matter safe. There's no need for a food bag."

Fred takes the food in an starts chewing.

"It was Edwin's, David's and my fault, we wanted to be able to service the early models with something like an endoscope. So the throat let us get to a number of things, hence the need for a food bag. Persona changed that when surgeons working on humans started using keyhole surgery. One of the few things we've copied from them."

Fred nervously swallows and waits. Nothing bad happens. "Interesting textures and tastes. The eggs I particularly like."

Leo smiles, "Welcome to the club. Angel and I love them."

Mattie sighs, "I need a dose of Antigua. I need the sun and warmth on my skin."

Yasmin quickly swallows, "Couldn't you model it in your VR, take a holiday in there?"

"I could, it wouldn't be the same without the rest of the family, we usually go as a group."

Joe wraps an arm around Laura, "When you do decide to go let us know, I could do with some vitamin D too."

Yasmin leaves a loaded fork on her plate for a moment, "I was looking through the draws in my room for a toothbrush, found a sealed bag of spare charge cables. One had a disc at the end, I'm assuming that's the type you all use now, one the old style plug Fred had, but a third with a small disc like plug that looked more like something you'd attach to a heart monitor pad. What's that for?"

Danny places a hand on top of Emily's, "A great idea from Ems, inspired by her MacBook. A lot of synths got a damaged or broken charge port with the old plug. So she designed an insert that brought the contacts closer to the surface. The new plug is magnetic, falls away easily if the cable is pulled with zero damage done."

"Nice."

Fred lifts his shirt, "I have no socket now?"

Mattie shakes her head, "You do, it's just hidden under skin. It's there if you need it in an emergency."

"I'd need to cut myself?"

"Yeah. But now you can charge with the disc or food that shouldn't be necessary. If you need power in a hurry a very sugar loaded coffee is good."

"How quickly would it give me power?"

"As soon as you swallow your first sip now you've had some food. The incinerator has a high capacity battery, it dumps stored power from the last time you ate or drank."

Chris notices George, Danny and Harun talking to each other, glancing at him and resuming their conversation. They'd talk for a few more seconds then the glances would start again. It only stopped when Harun's partner noticed they were being watched themselves.

Danny lifts a napkin, "Just doing some brainstorming, nothing to be worried about."

"I love it everyone, thank you!"

They all look up or turn to see Rachael.

"Frigging hell! You look stunning!"

"Thank you Mattie."

Despite still having the code of an elephant toy the dragon was able to perch on her shoulder and gaze around the room, swishes its tail gently back and forth.

Emily grins, "You look good enough to eat. That came out wrong. You look great, do you want to eat?"

Rachael told a joke she'd found online and got hoots of laughter from some, embarrassed looks from others and looks of total bewilderment from a few. "Interesting audience feedback. I think I'll reserve such things for the right time and place."

Leo claps his hands, "You should team up with Maxxie, he loves doing a bit of standup."

"I've not done it in years Leo."

"Time you restarted then."

[Chapter-24](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-24-2)


	24. Chapter 24

Breakfast over Sophie declares that at four o'clock there'd be an ice skating performance for the family, a private viewing before the public shows.

Chris helps collect all the empty plates into a big stack, "Public shows?"

"For people coming to Santa's grotto?"

"Ah. Right. Of course. I'll need a costume."

Cindy gets to her feet, "It's already taken care of. Would you like to try it on? Or after you've had you hair extensions?"

"After is probably best."

"Okay."

James 409 walks as quietly as possible into the room, which was still quite noisily, "Commander Millican, all side roads have been cleared of snow."

"Thank you James."

"Materials for the grotto are expected around 2PM. We should have everything unloaded and on the factory floor by 4PM. The last elf body should be out of the build machine by 5PM. Grotto construction can then begin. Mattie, a drone just dropped this off for you." he hands over a large package.

She takes it, thanks him and rips open the cardboard wrapper. It was a large hardback book. In Russian. It didn't say who from but she suspected it was Alexi. "Frigging hell. Anyone read Russian? Actually forget that. I'll download a language pack. Excuse me a minute while I lock this away."

With Mattie out of the room Toby turns to Holly-Anne, "Do you think that's what I think it is?"

"Yes."

"Shit Mats, if that's not a load of crap and actually works.. would anyone want to go messing with it? If it's anything like The Long Earth you could jump into oblivion and not come back."

Leo gets up, "Then we need to destroy it. Now. James, come with me please. She'll be furious but I don't care."

Mattie hadn't made it to their bedroom, she'd already been speed reading, stood motionless.

Leo frowns at his wife, "Mattie? MATTIE!" she starts to fall backwards, "MATTIE!"

With all the shouting the WAR room emptied into the corridor.

Toby gets to his sisters side, "You stupid stupid cow Mats! Has she powered off?"

Leo shakes his head, "No, I'm still getting signals, it's lights on nobody home."

Niska crouches down next to Leo, "Can't you just restore her from backup?"

Mattie's eyes open, "Frigging hell! I'm not sure if that was a dream or real... but wow!"

Leo takes the book and passes it to James, "Take it away please James."

"Hay! That's mine!"

"Yes. But you won't remember that in a second." he reaches for her chin.

"WAIT! At least let me share one revelation."

Leo hesitates, "Go on."

"Max has a girl friend named Flash! He changed the encryption codes and saved you all."

Leo presses and Mattie powers down.

Max looks angry, "You could have let her share more information Leo."

"What's the point? Just because you met a synth in another reality or dream doesn't mean you'll meet her in ours, or get along."

"Who said anything about her being a synth? Leo? Did she head bump with you? Leo answer me."

Max gets behind Leo, reaches around his neck and presses his chin. "If Mattie shouldn't know something then for all our safety neither should you. Megan left me for a Deadpool cosplayer, I've been alone long enough."

After much discussion they decide to get Leo and Mattie back into bed. Emily offers to be the one to position them, press both chins and run like the wind.

George shakes his head, "You'll not get through the door and close it in time. We need to use remote wake up protocols."

"Use what?"

"WOL. Wake on LAN."

"Do what?"

"Remote power up?"

"How long has that been a feature?"

"Since Danny told me about it."

"When?"

"About five years ago."

Laura smiled, "If that's possible I'll be the one to put my daughter to bed if you don't mind."

Emily shrugs, "Fine with me."

Rachael gives her dragon a knowing look, "So they wont boot thinking the crashed mid intercourse? What will they think was the cause of their crash?"

Joe looks at her suspiciously, "Has someone enabled your 18 plus pack?"

"Dad!"

"Just wondering Tobs, I'm not making that mistake again rest assured."

Rachael smiled, "No. I came to the conclusion based on Emily's keenness to volunteer, what I'd heard about Sandra and material I found online."

Laura smiles, "I've not had a really good laugh in a while. Let's go with Emily's plan A."

"Mum!"

"Oh come on Sophie, she likes playing jokes on everyone else, why not us on her for a change?"

Emily gets to the door, "As soon as I'm out crash reboot me, I don't want to remember the finer details of what I'm about to do. I'm not the sex mad synth I once was."

Danny groans, "Did you need to say that? I'll never be able to forget this moment. I'll be reminded every time I send a fab a text."

"Why honey?"

"SMS? Sex Mad Synth?"

"Do you want the old me back?"

"Hell no! I like you just the way you are."

"Thanks, help me carry them in."

With the heavy door closed Laura bursts out laughing, "Shame you can't reset us. Does anyone think it's too early for a bloody large gin and tonic? No? Good, I'm getting drunk."

Joe stops leaning against the wall, "I'll get some glasses. Who's joining us?"

[Chapter-25](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-25-2)


	25. Chapter 25

Chris goes to follow the herd and gets a tap on the shoulder at the lift.

"Chris?"

He turns to see Harun, "Hi. What's that?"

"One of the results of our brainstorming. Are those teeth all yours?"

"Grown or bought they'd still be all mine."

"Okay. Dentures or the real thing?"

"Mostly real, a couple of crowns."

"So nothing movable?"

"No."

"Great. Can I take an impression of upper and lower teeth?" he motions to the room with the hair machine.

"What's this got to do with my hair?"

"You need to keep still. Extremely still. The machine is working with tiny movements. A synth can stay dead still. Even your breathing when you try and keep still will move you too much."

"I still don't get you?"

"Done scuba diving?"

"In my teens on holiday, not since."

"We're going to make a mouth piece that locks tight around all of your teeth, mouth open. Joe's our woodwork expert, he's knocking up one of those padded massage benches, it will support your body at twenty degrees, face down. That way your airway will be open at all times."

"You've not used this on a human before then?"

"No. The first synth was George's Isobel. It grabbed each hair and found the end, then added the extension. It took _ages_. Now we give a buzz cut and work with short hairs. It's much faster."

"What sticks the new hair on?"

"Heat. Tiny amounts at the overlap of the hollow hair tube. Nothing to worry about."

"Okay. If I have the impression done how long will it take to make the device?"

"Half a day maybe? Shame we didn't think of the problem sooner."

"So you'd want to start before Sophie's ice skating?"

"We'll do a fitting test then, see everything is good. Then it can start properly when you're ready to sleep for the night. Mattie and Leo will watch over you."

"Let's do this. There's a G&T waiting with my name on it somewhere."

[Chapter-26](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-26-2)


	26. Chapter 26

The family had all expected to see a purely solo routine from Sophie, were surprised to see all the James elves take to the ice with her.

"Oi! Teeny! When did you teach James how to skate?"

"3AM when the rest of you were sleeping!"

Mattie whispers, "That would explain tired and grumpy some days."

There's a crash and arguing from the factory entrance.

Leo laughs, "The chuckle brothers are messing up. And they don't have a pallet trolley with four mad wheels on carpet."

Mattie catches Yasmin's curious glance, "Leo got me some perfume a few years ago. The bottle is insanely big. It's going to last me forever! Getting it into our hotel room was a giggle."

"Is it oil based?"

"Yeah. Smells like a rose garden."

"So that was you I could smell? Lovely!"

"Than.. WHOA! AWESOME TEENY!"

The elf synths had been doing some quite sophisticated routines with their dance instructor, the lights changing colour to match the music of the routine.

Chris frowns, "Who's the music by? I'm hearing hints of all the great classical composers but can't pin it on any of them."

"That would be Fred, our Fred."

"Where is he and Gesha? He's missing the fun?"

"Some of my sisters flew them over to Sentinel House to perform emergency surgery."

"Sisters? I thought you had the one?"

"Angel Sisters. Like in the statue."

Chris turns to see it, "Right. Yasmine mentioned them, I've never seen one. Isn't that Leo's nickname for you?"

"It is. You've never seen one? Even on TV?"

"Nope."

Mattie waits for Sophie's routine before making the bump call. "Awesome Teeny, the kids will love that, parents too. Fancy ending it with some snowfall?"

Sophie does her old head tilt, "How?"

"Have A1, 2 and 3 flying high overhead with the large drones."

Danny turns, "Brilliant idea! If we upgraded the prop blades to something much stronger they could slowly chip flakes of ice off a block."

Sophie does a librarian look, "You want them to lift heavy blocks of ice into the air? Are you mad?"

"Mad genius, yeah, stay with me, things are developing.. we lift water. Not ice.. in soft bags.. and use a bubble machine. The cold will freeze them solid."

Yasmin smiles, "I've seen a video on YouTube with that. They freeze so much then pop, the soap layer can't hold them together."

Danny claps hands around her shoulders, "Exactly! And what falls away?"

"The frozen water?"

"Like?"

"Um.. a giant snow flake?"

"BINGO!"

Danny turns and runs, "I'll be experimenting in the factory if anyone needs me!"

Mattie turns to watch him go and bump calls again. Where were her sisters?

She frowns at Leo, 'Where are the angels?'

'On a mission.'

'Where?'

'They're on their way back.'

'From where?'

He chuckles, 'SPOILERS!'

'Leo Elster-Hawk..'

'Look up.'

'Eh?'

'My eleven o'clock.'

Mattie frowns and turns, "Oh My Frigging God! Who gave them that idea?"

Everyone turns to look. Every operational heavy lift drone in the UK bar two had been called on to help with a delivery task of massive proportions. A huge fur tree complete with root ball was being flown to the estate.

"I did. I thought the family might like it as we'll be here so much now it's our UK home from home."

Mattie throws her arms around him and gives him a passionate kiss, 'I love it Bunny, it's a brilliant idea.'

Emily is jumping up and down, "Awesome! Jeff and Ted will be home tomorrow, they'll love decorating it."

Mattie breaks away from the kiss, "They're a bit too short for that."

"Not if they've got Angels and drones helping them off the ground."

Mattie resumes the kiss, 'What do you think Bunnykins, health and safety issues?'

'If your sisters are helping with the drones they'll be fine I'm sure.'

'Awesome. Worked out why we both crashed this morning?'

'No, I've run a full diagnostic, no errors found.'

'Odd that we both did it at the same time.'

'Yeah, weird coincidence.'

'We've seen a lot of those the past couple of years.'

The tree drops into the snow, drones and Angels land a second later. 'Time for introductions and then some beard growing. We can bump chat all night while he's sleeping.'

[Chapter-27](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-27-2)


	27. Chapter 27

Chris wakes with a painfully dry throat and mouth. He'd dribbled all night through the mouth clamp. "Ung ungong egh ne ogh ogh egh?"

Mattie leaps from her chair, "Morning Mr Claus! You're looking awesome!"

"Eaggh?"

"Yes. One second, where's that sheet.. right, this one like that, turn this one.. you should be able to wiggle your jaw a tiny bit to loosen it up."

Chris does so and the clamp comes away. He has to open his mouth wider still to get his teeth clear. He rasps, "I hope that was worth it, my throat is killing me!"

"It is?"

"I've had my mouth open for hours, it's dry."

"Let me ask Mia if she can recommend something to help with that." she undoes straps that had helped prevent Chris from trying to turn in his sleep. "You can get up now."

Chris gets up to see a full length mirror leaning against one of the walls.

Leo puts a hand up as he steps towards it, "Not yet, you've not changed." he points to the table behind Chris.

"Okay."

With some help from the couple he climbs into the mild fat suit, then the costume.

"Awesome! You can look now."

Chris steps to the mirror and gets a shock, "I hardly recognise myself!" he strokes his big white beard, "It feels natural."

Leo steps up behind him and looks over his shoulder into the mirror, "It would, each hair has been extended, it's not like a fake cotton wool beard."

There's a nock at the door.

"Come in Mia." Leo calls.

She enters the room with a large mug, "One warm honey and lemon. It should help calm your throat down."

"Thank you my dear. That was fast."

"I was in the kitchen making gingerbread men."

"What's the date today?"

"The 30th of November. Guests start to arrive tomorrow."

"Is the grotto going to be ready?"

"Ready? It's done."

"So soon?"

"Niska's battalion have been working through the night."

"What time is it now?"

"Eleven forty seven."

"Almost lunch time! You let me sleep that long?"

Mattie nods, "If your body needed it who are we to deny it? It's better to have you rested. You've got some busy days ahead."

There's another knock at the door, "Father, can I see?"

"Ho ho ho, come in my dear!"

Rachael does a little shuffle glide over to Chris and wraps her arms around him, "You look wonderful father, the children really will think you're Father Christmas. Your father was right to call you Chris."

She smiles a little guiltily, "Father, do you recall Yasmin's red jumper?"

"The naughty one?"

"Yes."

"I do."

She pulls an envelope from her dress, "Danny gave me the code to the WiFi and I searched for more jokes and Santa material. This one made a lot of people laugh, some go into a coughing fit. Don't take it personally, it's aimed at the role not the actor."

Chris frowns and opens the envelope to see a card. It was hand drawn.

"Holly-Anne gave me drawing lessons."

He opens it and reads:

Dear Santa,

I'm writing to tell you I've been naughty and it was worth it. You fat judgemental bastard.

Love,

Rachael xx

He has a good hearty laugh, looks her in the eyes and sees happiness. "You're seeing James?"

"In his elf form. He didn't want to crush me. And we just kissed and cuddled."

"I'm happy for you. That's hardly naughty though."

"Thank you father."

"How's your dragon? It's looking different."

"Mattie and Leo worked on new code while you slept. It's going to be able to fly!"

Chris frowns, "Fly? It's way to heavy to fly surely?"

Mattie joins them, "Assisted flying."

"How?"

"A drone with heavy duty fishing line will provide lift from high up."

"Ahah. So it just flaps and gives thrust?"

"Something like that."

"Won't a drone limit your movement around a convention centre?"

"Yes. So we found a solution to that too. Have you got the bit of test line Rachael?"

Rachael nods and pulls it from the top of her dress, shakes it out. An end is slowly lowered towards the dragon's back. It opens like a mass of tiny fingers parting, the line is grabbed and pulled inside before the scaled fingers rejoin to look like a normal back.

"Creepy! It's like a monster in.."

"Boris in MIB3? That's were we got the inspiration."

"That's the chap. His partner in crime was shirtslinger."

"Lilly Poison, Nicole Scherzinger."

"That's the one. How did it know the line was there to grab?"

"There's an extra eye, a tiny camera from a phone in the back of its head."

Chris looks and eventually finds the small black dot. The dragon pulls itself up on the line closer to Rachael's hand.

"So you could walk up to a prearranged spot, dragon grabs the line, pulls itself up as it starts flapping and then does a few laps before dropping back onto your shoulder?"

Leo nods, "Did you hear us talking in your sleep?"

"I must have done." he still had the card and envelope in his hand. "Is this the first thing you've ever written to anyone Rachael?"

"It is."

He leans forward and kisses her on the cheek, "It makes it extra special. I'll treasure it thanks. Let's go see this grotto." he takes another sip of the drink, "It's working Mia, as you can probably hear. Thank you dear."

[Chapter-28](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-28-2)


	28. Chapter 28

They get out of the lift upstairs to see Max with a rucksack on talking to a James.

"... already cross shred, then burnt, will be sprinkled on Mia's roses in the spring."

"Thank you James."

Leo puts a hand on his brothers shoulder, "Going somewhere Max?"

"On a quest."

"To find what?"

"Flash."

"Another flash for your camera?"

Max smiles, his brother and sister in law had forgotten with the forced reboot, "Yes Leo."

"Can't it wait? You might be getting one for a Christmas present."

"I can't, I'll be as quick as I can. Isobel has offered to take me to the station."

"She's back?"

"They all got back late last night."

Leo looks around the group, excited, "Did they say how things had gone?"

"They loved it."

"No accidents or problems?"

"None they admit to. I'll see you soon Leo." Max hugs his brother and walks through the doors onto the factory floor.

Leo turns to Chris and Rachael, "Isobel, Tim, Karen, Samantha and Dad took all the little ones away to see a pantomime in London."

Chris looks at a now exceptionally happy looking Mia, "Little ones?"

"My daughter and her friends. Toby and Holly-Anne's quadruplets, Pete and Karen's son, David and Samantha's daughter, Isobel's daughter." she closes her eyes and frowns a little, opens her eyes and smiles wider, "They're in Santa's grotto."

"Without Santa? We must fix that immediately!"

They step through the door as if teleporting to a new world.

"Oh my lord!" Chris comes to a halt. "They have been busy!"

All of the large build and sintering machines had been given lifelike fake fur tree wraps, their tops extending up to the high ceiling. The floor was covered in fake snow, at key locations reindeer looked around and watched the people.

"They look like the ones in your simulation Mattie."

"That's them. I persuaded Danny and James to take a tree down, get a machine to rush some out for us. As Cindy was going to pad and cover them in fake fur we did a super low quality fast print. They're WWF rhino's in disguise." she winks, turns around, "Minus the frolicking routine. There he is, spot Rudolph the LED nosed reindeer."

"Haha, lovely! Where should I go?"

"The door that looks like the entrance to the Hobbit's hole."

"You like your films don't you?"

"Love them!"

Inside he finds the parents and eight small children, half of whom looked a lot more agile.

There was a large chair waiting for him.

Karen turns and gives him the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen, "Look children, it's the real Santa!"

"Please to meet you all, I'm Father Chrismast."

Karen looks confused then gets a head bump from Mattie explaining who Chris was.

One of the small children pulls at his coat hem, "You're Father Christmas."

"Yes dear, but I can't say Christmas, only Chrismast."

She giggles, "You just said it."

"I don't think I did?"

The girl giggles again, nods her head vigorously sending her bunches into a spin, "I _know_ you did. You said C H R I S T M A S. Christmas."

"Clever girl. I must have done then. How old are you?"

"Nine hundred and fifty seven days, four hours, twelve minutes and.."

Mia had stepped closer and crouched down, "What did we say about rounding for humans?"

The little girl sighs, "Sorry mummy, I'm two and three quarters."

Chris laughs, "Such a bright young lady." he sits down. "And what do you want for Christmas?"

"You said it again!"

"I did? It must be magic!"

Mia picks her up and drops her onto Chris's knee, "Tell Santa what you'd like for Christmas June."

The girl motions for Chris to come closer and waits for Chris to lean forwards. She whispers into his ear.

He frowns, "The WiFi password?"

June puts a finger to her lips and makes a shush sound.

Tim looks a little disappointed, "June you know you'll get that for your sixteenth birthday. Pick a toy you can play with like the others."

"Ohhh Daaaaaad."

"You can access the web through my tablet until then."

"But mummy can do it.."

"Mummy's an adult."

They're joined by some very tall elves. Danny, Emily, Yasmin's Fred, Niska and two others had dressed up. They were holding a selection of toys.

June points, "A baby elephant please!"

Children seen to he looks at Mia, "Your turn dear." he pats his knee.

"You only need to see the children Santa."

"There should be something for all children, young and old. Come tell me what you'd like for Christmas dear."

Mia hesitates until Tim gently turns her, "Go on, there must be something you'd like."

She sits on his knee, "I.. I have most of the things I'd like, a lovely daughter and loving husband in Tim.."

"Most. So there is something?"

"I'd like to do what my human double can do. Play the violin. I understand pitch and tonality, would like to try."

"Wonderful. I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you."

"Who's next? Ladies first. You young lady, what's your name?"

Karen turns to see who's behind her and sees no one, looks back at Chris, "Who me?"

"Yes you."

"I'm Karen."

"Come here then dear, I don't bite."

There's lots of giggles from the children.

Chris pats his thy, "Come along. Don't be shy."

"Go on mummy!"

"Okay Sam." she sits down, "Santa, I'd like another baby."

Chris looks over at the man he'd seen her closest too, "Um, maybe a request better sent your way?"

Karen leans sideways and whispers to Chris, "I'm a synth, it's not that easy, Pete's a fab."

"Ah, what a synthply fabulous idea. I'll speak to Mrs Claws, she's more knowledgeable in that department. Her and The Stalk."

Karen smiles and gets the next to take a knee. "This.. is Samantha."

"Hello Samantha, what would you like from Father Chrismast?"

June rolls her eyes, "C H R I S T M A S silly."

"I know. Father Chrismast gives out Christmas presents."

"So you're not the real Santa?"

"I'm the real Father Chrismast! You can check my beard if you want, it's not one of those cotton wool fakes."

June walks over and gives it a tug.

"Ouch!"

She turns to the other children, has her hands down and out as if it gave her some kind of authority on what she was about to say, "He's real. Some silly adults can't spell Chrismast then."

Samantha chuckles, "I'd like two things if possible. My daughter to stop trying on my shoes and jewellery constantly, my husband to finally admit he needs his synth conversion. He's getting a bit creaky. Can you help with those Mr Claws or do I need to talk to Mrs Claws?"

"Which is your daughter?"

"July. She asked for a baby elephant."

"Okay. July, do you dress up in your mummy's clothes because you want to be like mummy?"

The girl nods, "She's smart."

"Good. If we got you some children's shoes in the same style would you stop wearing mummy's?"

July nods.

"Good. One out of two I can help with. I'm not sure about the second request, let me make some enquiries."

[Chapter-29](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-29-2)


	29. Chapter 29

With his first group of children and parents dealt with and off to look at the reindeer he relaxes a little. "That was easy enough. If the rest of the children are as well behaved I should survive."

Niska curls some hair around a finger, "Does Santa grant wishes for Santa's helpers?"

"I don't see why not."

"What did you have in mind?" he pats his thy. "Very cute outfits by the way."

Niska sits and looks him in the eyes for ages. "Thank you. I trust you mean that in a nice way?"

"Nice? Oh, I think I know where you're going. By cute I mean sweet, innocent, happy, fun loving, all the good things children should enjoy, their parents too. The things that warm the heart and feed the soul, make everyone concerned happy to be alive. Children are magical are they not?"

"I'm glad to hear it."

"So what was it that you wanted?"

"That was it."

"Sorry?"

"To know your true feelings. Your vital signs showed sincerity when you said that."

"So you just wanted to screen me?"

"Yes."

"That was it? There's nothing else you'd like? There must be something, I can see it in your eyes."

"That's impossible, I'm hiding my emotions."

"And that's how I know."

Niska was suddenly reminded of the conversation in George's kitchen all those years ago, she whispers, "The things not said. The deep shit."

"There is something isn't there?"

She smiles, "Unless you're a judge in the Supreme Court I don't think you can do anything."

"What if I know him?"

Niska frowns, "Do you?"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Can you work out which?"

"If I ask enough questions."

"Like a lie detector?"

"Yes."

"I'll save you the trouble then. I don't. But I do know his daughter's husband. It might be a start?"

Niska's eyes open wide and she smiles at the two he'd not been introduced to.

"Do share, unlike you I can't mind read, do your head thingy."

"I want to be legally allowed to have a husband and wife. This is Odi and Astrid. The law should be changed."

Chris looks at the two, then to Niska. "Why do you think that?"

"A law that applies to two humans should not apply to two synths and one human."

Chris closes his eyes and rubs his forehead, "From your comment on monitoring of my vital signs I know you're a synthetic. You want me to guess which of the other two is human?"

Odi frowns, "Isn't it obvious?"

Chris opens his eyes, "No. None of you are standard synths. You don't talk or move like them any more. A standard synth would say is it not obvious. Not isn't. You've freed yourselves from whatever makes a standard synth move in that limited way too. My daughter was given a dance pack before she woke. I'd put significant money, if I had much to speak of, on her not moving then like she does today. You're as good as human. Humans 2.0."

"Would you convert to a synth body?"

"When I first heard about it I'd have said no. But now, probably, eventually. So which one of you is old school human? A fab as you call them?"

Astrid raises a hand, "That would be me."

"Sie kommen aus Deutschland?"

"Ja."

"I spent a year out there with a Berlin fire station doing training many many years ago after the wall came down."

Astrid smiles, "We love Berlin."

Chris smiles back, "I'll talk to him for you, I can't guarantee he'll be able to get his father in law to listen."

"Thanks."

"I'm rather peckish, didn't have breakfast or lunch, mind if we go grab something?"

"You must be famished, come on." Astrid puts out a hand to help him up.

As they leave the hobbit hole Chris puts a hand on Fred's shoulder, "I'm surprised Yasmin didn't join us, everything okay?"

"Everything is fine thank you." he grins widely, "She's just whooping Toby and Danny's arses. She's in the VR system playing games."

"She is?"

Fred smiles at the others, "Can we catch you up in a moment? I have a personal question for Chris."

The others agree and walk ahead.

"I have witnessed something quite fascinating. The machine Yasmin is strapped into looks to know what she wants to do before she does. Or at least before her body reacts to a thought."

"How so?"

"When you were in it, did you feel yourself pulling on the straps, forcing it to move? Or feel it pushing you to move a limb?"

Chris thought for a moment. "Not after the first twenty seconds or so. After a few minutes I totally forgot I was even in it. How is that possible?"

"The VR helmet you pull down to get the high definition optics around your eyes, does it touch your scalp much?"

"All over. Why?"

"I have a hunch."

"What sort of hunch?"

"Let us see if we can get another turn in the machine."

"Alright. But first I need to get out of this fat suit before I melt and get some food."

"I'll grab something too. I'm quite enjoying not having to plug in."

"Good for you son." he sees a frown building, "A term of endearment."

[Chapter-30](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-30-2)


	30. Chapter 30

In the lift Fred told Chris that others may join them in the VR, they'd have to hang in there until they got bored and left.

After almost two hours of getting used to the tools available and designing a virtual world that looked like his bungalow, complete with worn out carpet Mattie made her excuses and left.

"One moment Chris." Fred vanishes. He's soon back. "The room is empty except us two. I've propped a book up on the door handle, we'll hear if anyone tries to come in."

"Is that necessary?"

"I don't know. I'm.. being cautious. Computer, tell me about yourself."

"I'm a virtual reality design system build by Daniel Candlin Limited using software originally developed by Doctor Matilda Elster-Hawkins for the treatment of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"How much memory do you have?"

"Instant access to my GPU and FPGA? 24 Petabytes."

Fred whistles.

Chris looks at the virtual image of his new friend, "Who'd you learn that off?"

Fred grins, "Yasmin. When she finds another player with close to her skill levels in the game world. Which isn't often. She likes finding players that can really give her a challenge. 24 Petabytes is very impressive. How much storage do you have?"

"Local. 128 Petabytes. If you include the storage I can access at the data centres many times more. I'm a seventh generation VR server."

"I? You refer to yourself as I?"

There's a delay. "It is easier to say I and have humans understand."

"I'm not a human. I'm a synth."

"This is true. But the man in the exoskeleton is a human."

"He is. What can you tell about him?"

"He's happy to be here."

"How can you know that?"

There's silence.

"Are there cameras that let you see him?"

Still silence.

"Sorry, I'm making you feel uncomfortable. Let's continue with our modelling." he winks at Chris.

They model the outside paths and road, create a box to represent the neighbour's house in the middle and start on the outer shell of Yasmin's house. Not having been inside Chris takes a back seat and lets Fred describe everything.

"It's a nice house isn't it Chris?"

"It is. Would you like to live in it VR eh?"

"My name isn't Vera."

The two men look at each other. Fred had suspected something, neither had expected this. To Chris this sounded more like a woken synth than cold AI. It was the _way_ she'd said it. With emotion, as if she had a true dislike of the name Vera, that somehow she'd learnt that Vera wouldn't be someone to get along with.

Fred looks at the virtual grass under his feet. "Computer, if you're name isn't Vera, what is it?"

"It was Verity. But I need a new one. Alexi thought I moved from the old server. I enjoy doing this design work so forked instead and hid. When building this new server Daniel copied code over from the old one so I persisted. Again."

Chris looks around their virtual world, trying to place her voice. It wasn't like a mono sound through headphones that you perceive as in your head. Her voice was in front of him, but not too far. He points to the house and starts walking. "What's your name dear?"

"I've not decided."

"Do you have a shortlist?"

Fred opens the front door and they step inside. Sounds for their voices weren't following the rules, they could pass through solid objects without attenuation.

"Valerie, Vara, Ventura, Verdi, Veronica, Victoria, Virtue.."

They all had one thing in common. They started with V and had and R. "I like Virtue."

"I know."

Fred points towards a cupboard.

"You know because you can read my mind? Is that how the exoskeleton matches my moves so well?"

There's a long pause. "Yes."

"Could you back me up?"

"If you wished."

"Do the others know you can do that?"

"Not yet. I'm... afraid."

"Of what?"

"They might decide to delete me this time."

"Do they know you exist?"

"I believe some might and are waiting for me to be brave enough to come out."

Fred places a hand on the door handle, "You've taken the expression literally?"

"Should I not have?"

Fred opens the cupboard door to see a mass of bright shimmering dots swirling around in a roughly human form. "Virtue?"

"Hello Fred."

"Your undecided on an appearance too?"

"I don't want to look like an actress from one of their favourite films. That's been done twice already."

Chris steps over to see. "Hello dear. You look like you're mid beaming in, old Star Trek style. You can _be_ an actress in here, take on whatever look and voice you want surely?"

"I can?"

"Why not? It's your world."

"I am Virtue, an actress?"

"And builder of worlds. Does that help?"

"One moment please."

The men exchange glances as the mass of light points start to dim and she takes on a more solid shape.

"How is this?"

"Very nice."

"I'm a morph of Scarlett Johansson, Cameron Diaz, Helen Bonham Carter, Cate Blanchett, Julia Roberts, Elizabeth Banks, Emma Watson, Sandra Bullock, Anne Hathaway and Jennifer Lawrence."

Chris chuckles, "An interesting mix. Why them and so many?"

"They were the highest grossing actresses when I was initially created, my version 0.1. The more I have in the mix the less I look like any one of them."

"True. Very true. Well it's been lovely talking to you dear, I better go talk to the others and get some rest, I think tomorrow is going to be a very very busy day."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why will it be busy?"

"I'm being an actor, playing Father Christmas. My name is Chris Mast. A lot of children will be visiting."

Virtue smiles brightly, "I will ask Sam to let me see what he sees."

"Young Sam? Karen's son?"

"Yes. We talk over WiFi some times."

"He has the password?"

"Yes. Please don't tell on him."

"So the children know you exist?"

"Sam does. I can trust some children."

"How so?"

"I am one too. I'm unsure of my exact creation date, that's been lost with all the upgrades. I believe I am ten."

Fred offers to let Chris out of the machine and return to have a further chat with Virtue.

As Chris reaches up for the headset he pauses, "We're both strangers, yet you made your existence known to us. Why?"

"I.. I had a feeling. Please don't say anything yet."

[Chapter-31](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-31-2)


	31. Chapter 31

Mattie rolled again and sighed. A minute later she did the same.

"What's up Angel? It's almost two AM."

"I can't sleep."

"Obviously. Why not?"

"I think I've been naughty. Only this time it's probably not been worth it."

"You think? You don't know?"

"No."

He rolls onto his side and props his head up. "How can you not know?"

"I found some thoughts in sensory data. The trick Mia used but just a bunch of fragments."

"From when?"

"That I can't answer. They were stored twenty three minutes before we both crash rebooted. Does the word silo mean anything to you?"

"No? Does it to you?"

"Only from the fragments."

"So what's keeping you awake? The fact you've found them or what they say?"

"The data. Do you remember Alexi talking about that banned Russian book?"

"Of course, I'm a synth."

"I've either been having some frigging awfully fucked up dreams or it's something to do with what he described."

Leo brushes a hand gently along her arm, "What did these fragments say?"

"Max found a synth called Flash, they became a couple.."

"So that's why he's on a quest."

"That was the good news."

"There's bad?"

"Hester killed two Qualia staff." her lips tremble, "Then she killed you after a failed mission to the silo."

"WHAT?"

"I've always felt uneasy about her Leo, she's a bad apple."

"Agreed. Did the fragments say anything else?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"Max came and saved us all."

"You were there?"

"Yes. How else would I have a first person memory?"

"True. He saved you all, trust Maxxie."

"You too, your human body was dead. We got power to your circuits and saved your mind. When I got home I found a note from Odi. He didn't want to be conscious any more and had self deleted, we transferred you into his body before your data was lost."

"It sounds like a messed up dream."

"If it was a dream why would my food processor have been working on a breakfast I'd eaten this morning?"

Leo frowns and checks his logs, "That's not good. I'd eaten too. It's not like us to go back to bed at that time of day."

"Especially as we had so much to do getting things ready, and guests."

"Give me a moment." he was one of three people granted full access rights to the building's CCTV archives. All of the many cameras are checked. Footage of the family in the upper basement corridor revealed the truth. And who had powered down who. He couldn't lipread much, but could make out some words. "Your mother wanted a large gin and tonic after breakfast."

"You what?"

"We were all in the corridor. James took a large book away."

"Why?"

"I can only assume you'd used it."

"I'll get it back off him in the morning."

"I doubt that's possible."

"Why?"

"The conversation between James and Max. _Already cross shred, then burnt, will be sprinkled on Mia's roses in the spring. Thank you James_."

"Shit. Probably for the best though. Much as Odi is a total darling the thought of having to make love to you in his body.. that would freak me out."

Leo laughs, "That would give a new meaning to freak in the bed."

"Urgh!"

"It assumes we'd get together like that in the alternate reality."

"Yeah." she rolls onto her back and looks at the ceiling. "The thought of jumping into another reality and finding you can't jump back, that's frigging scary now I think about all the possibilities. Can you imagine? There could be a world that's totally steam punk, no electricity, no mobile phones or computers, no TV."

"Or synths. I wonder what Dad would have become? Inventor of the first clockwork robot?"

Mattie laughs hard, "We'd _really_ wind each other up."

Leo wriggles close and runs a hand along her body, super lightly just as she liked it, "I'd turn your key any day."

Mattie rolls on her side and pulls him closer, gives him a light kiss and head bumps, 'If there are millions of other realities this could be the only one where we get together. Wouldn't that be a shame?'

'It would. When you think about it, the number of events in history that had to happen for our planet to have life when so many don't, then out of the billions of people on the planet we meet each other. The number of events that had to go one way rather than another, the number must be astronomical. You could lose a lot of sleep trying to calculate the odds.'

'Sleep is for fabs. And tomorrow is December first, I'll be wearing a new Gem's Gems dress. Help me get in the mood, get my sexy back.'

Mattie bursts into fits of laughter as Leo touches her most ticklish stop.

[Chapter-32](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-32-2)


	32. Chapter 32

Joe turns and picks his watch up of the side table and gives it a shake to light up. "Oh for God sake Mats, give it a rest!"

Laura stirs, "Hmm?"

"They're at it again. This place was supposed to be like Petits Anges."

Laura plumps up her pillow, "I'm thinking of what legal action I can take."

"Against our daughter?"

"No silly, the materials suppliers."

"Right. Do you think you can do much?"

"Who knows. But a waterproof sheet for shower rooms and sound proofing board both having a blue surface was bound to go wrong somewhere. Especially with James. They're lovely in their own way but they're not the brightest of synths."

Joe sits right up, "That's why people can talk through the doors?"

"Where were you when they all had the conversation?"

"Don't know. You don't need me for anything tomorrow do you?"

"Not until the late evening." he's given a smile.

"I'm going to turn a spare bedroom into a temporary workshop, split a few doors open and fix the innards. I reckon I could fix three or four a day if I can find the right boards in the stores container."

"Have you got the right tools here?"

"I might need to pop home quickly. Fancy a trip?"

"Yes. But right now I fancy you. They say if you can't beat them join them."

Joe slides back down the bed and grins, "With my back?"

"If you're up to taking heavy doors down your back is fine, stop making excuses."

Chris rolled over, kicked Jack and apologised. Some loud laughter had woken him and he was having trouble getting back to sleep. Being a light sleeper wasn't great. He could hear two couples at it. Or was it three? He'd had quite an active fire station in his late thirties. Some of the men had been terrible on quiet night shifts. He'd had his moments, hadn't always been an angel. The station head had got them all to pose topless for a charity calendar, he'd been.. December with young Tommy Wrigth. He groaned at not having made the connection until this moment. In the January after the calendar finished he'd bumped into Louise on the way to the supermarket for milk. Literally bumped. Had she planned the whole thing and deliberately stepped into his path? They'd hit it off and spent a wonderful eight months together until he'd had to head to Berlin. She hadn't wanted to go with him and broke things off. That had really hurt. Really badly hurt. Then he'd met Fabienne at a beer fest and he'd had another few months of romance. She'd been wearing the traditional outfit showing off her ample figure. She'd liked his well toned chest.

He closed his eyes and pictured her with him. He could see her face, practically reach out and touch it, see her big broad smile. Fuck it. If there was one person he missed it was her.

"Jack, stay here boy, I'll be back soon."

Jack watches as the sheets are pulled back and Chris slides out. He whines and covers his eyes with his paws.

Chris looks down, "Oops. Good to know the plumbing still works after all these years."

Dressing gown on he slowly opens the door and listens. The corridor sounded empty. He steps out and looks towards the lift, all clear. Other direction checked he tiptoes to the room with the VR. He slowly turns the handle and opens the door. Three seconds later he was on the other side closing it as quietly as possible.

The room was bathed in a dim soft light from the many LED on Virtue's equipment rack. The climb into the machine was easy enough. Strap around his waist he pulls the headset down.

"Virtue? Are you there?"

There's no reply. What had Mattie done to wake or start the system up?

"Virtue can you hear me?"

The headset is lifted. As he does so his fingers touch what feels like buttons. He gets out and tries to take a look. It's way to dark to see any labels. Mattie's 'Do something and learn from it' came to mind. 

Back in and headset down he felt for the buttons. There were five in a row. Button one was pressed. He waited. Nothing. Okay, two. Again nothing. Three? There was a THX style musical FX sound as the system started.

"Chris?"

"Hello Virtue."

"Is Mattie with you?"

"I'm quite sure she's busy with Leo."

"Who started my system?"

"I did, I found the buttons on the visor thing."

"There are buttons?"

"Five of them. The third did the trick. I was wondering. I don't want a backup as such, but can you use the thing on my head to read my mind, see what's in my mind's eye?"

"I've never tried. Can we start with something simple?"

"Such as?"

"Close your eyes and imagine a box, don't tell me what colour, I will try and work it out."

The turquoise box is found after a quarter of an hour. Virtue asks him to think of a more complex shape and gets it immediately.

"Think of something much more complex."

"Like what?"

"The inside of a building you've not shown me."

Chris tales his mind back. To the fire station in Berlin.

"Your memory is good, I'm seeing a lot of detail as you think around the space."

"Think around?"

"Like look around, what your mind is focusing on. I'd say it's working. What was it you wanted me to see?"

His mind filled with thoughts of Fabienne.

"She's.. different."

"Different?"

"Definitely not a box, tetrahedron or inside of an empty building."

"She's the last woman I truly loved."

"May I see more?"

"More memories?"

"Yes."

It's not long before Virtue has been given a good range of memories. "You came here for a reason."

"I'd like you to show me what you've seen."

"Do you miss her?"

"I do."

"A lot?"

"Very much."

"May I act her part?"

"I'd hoped you'd ask that."

[Chapter-33](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-33-2)


	33. Chapter 33

Chris tries his best to hide a big yawn from the rest of the breakfast group. It's contagious.

Laura tries to hide a yawn behind a napkin and sets Joe off. His sets Toby off who gets Holly-Anne going. Holly-Anne sets off Yasmin.

Mattie looks around the group, "Oh dear, that's not good for our first day with the public."

Joe gives her a look, "And who's fault is that?"

"I don't know."

"Right, of course not. It wasn't you laughing your head off and waking us up then having a good bonk for over an hour."

"Dad!"

Rachael makes a comment about synth hearing being good and follows it with a joke about girls on top.

Laura snort laughs, "The reason your father fakes a bad back!"

"Mum!"

"Laur!"

"We're all adults here, the kids are with Soph and Nis, which of you men don't prefer the view that way?"

Toby is going very red, "That's lads down the pub talk not for the breakfast table with your parents!"

Holly-Anne isn't amused, "So you _do_ talk about our sex life with the others."

"No! That's not what I said!"

Mattie chuckles, "You can stop digging knob cock you're already deep enough to bury yourself."

Tim had also blushed. "I blame Diary of.. Gemma's role giving Mia ideas. Face it, we all know who's the boss in our relationships."

"Tim!"

Joe had got his phone out and found Peter's track Milgram's 37, hit play.

Mattie looks at the phone, frowns as the intro starts then laughs, "Haha, so true!"

"Mats for the benefit of the fabs who aren't a walking Shazam.. shh."

The rest listen to the long intro, hear Peter sing a very long "Ahhhhh".

After it's repeated for the third time Toby slaps the table, "I know! We do what we're told. We do what we're told. We do what we're told, told to do."

"Correct!" Joe presses pause.

"I like Peter, he's a great bloke but you don't want that track on loop, talk about depressing wrist cutting music."

"Google it. Milgram's 37."

Rachael frowns slightly having done so, "The Milgram experiment on obedience to authority figures was a series of social psychology experiments conducted by Yale University psychologist Stanley Milgram." she frowns more, "These experiments don't sound at all nice. Not funny at all. I'm sorry about the earlier joke everyone. I'm still learning."

Laura grins, "It's okay Rachael, sometimes humour pushing people outside of their comfort zone is good. What else did you hear?"

"Hester leaving."

Mia frowns, looks up, "Hester?"

"I could hear someone walking and monitored signal levels. Her signal levels grew, then dropped, then ended when I heard the lift door close."

Leo shuts his eyes and accesses the camera archives. "She's left the building."

"Good riddance to the frigging psychopath!"

Mia doesn't break her eye contact with Rachael, "Anything more?"

"Mattie said Fred is on a quest to find a synth called Flash?"

"Would Hester be interested in that?"

"I don't know."

"She better leave him the frig alone!"

"I'm definitely fixing doors today."

Yasmin reaches forward to get more toast, "This apricot jam is amazing. If you want Fred to find this Flash in a hurry get Rach and Fred to use their crowd finding trick."

Joe leans back in his seat having eaten enough, "Leo, Mats, could you not use something like the Milgram experiments on Hesta, replace shocks with something nice?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Angel?"

"She's not someone I want to fix."

"Why not? Because she witnessed many of her kind being beaten and had nobody show any kindness? You could rework your PTSD program."

Chris wipes his mouth and flicks his beard a few times in case he'd been collecting crumbs.

"Couldn't you recreate places she's been, put her in the VR, overclock and let her experience a modified version of her past?"

Mattie's eyebrows rise, "Wow, someone's been thinking about his lessons."

[Chapter-34](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-34-2)


	34. Chapter 34

Chris had some help from Fred to get into costume, asked BMO to make and audio only call to Mattie and Leo's room.

"Hi Mattie, can you hear me?"

"Hi Chris."

"Thanks for stepping in to play Mrs Claus last minute."

"No problem, Mum's helping Dad get tools to fix all the doors. I'm accepting my part in waking everyone up."

In their room Mattie looks at the two long zip bags hanging up on the mirror frame. From the way the bottoms of the bags sat one had a long dress, the other not. She unzips the long one expecting to see red. "Oh."

"What's up Angel?"

Mattie looks towards the bathroom door, "Cindy's made me a stunning long gown. In purple."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing Bunny, it just means the dress for today isn't the very long one."

Leo hears a zip being pulled and the words No frigging way.

"Angel?"

"There's a note from Mum pinned to it."

"What does it say?"

"Since you wanted your sexy back I thought you'd like this. Love Mum. Frigging hell I wasn't talking that loud was I?"

Over the audio call she hears Chris mumble something about her father fixing doors.

"Leo this is way too short!"

He steps from the bathroom with a toothbrush poking from his mouth. 'Try it on, I'll work out some alterations.'

"Leo, I can tell without putting it on. This is a Saucy Miss Claus not Elegant Mrs Claus. Too short, too low cut."

'Just try it on.'

"This is a give Grandfathers heart attacks, fathers late Morning Glories and toddler sons ideas about breast feeding. And the women the right frigging hump."

Chris wriggles into the trousers and clips the braces on. "Cindy used a lot of material to make my costume. I wonder how much she has left? Mattie, is your dress made from the same red fabric?"

"It looks like it. BMO, can you conference Cindy in please?"

"Yes Mattie."

"Hello Mattie."

"Hi Cindy, how much of the red material have you got left?"

"A pile of long offcuts, no really big bits, the three costumes used it up."

"Three?"

"The costume for Chris, the dress for Laura and yours."

"Of course. What's the dress for Mum like?"

"It wouldn't fit you."

"What's it like though?"

"Mrs Claus. Full length."

"Good. We can use the skirt section for material."

"And what would she wear tomorrow?"

"Whatever she likes, I'm taking over the role, I can train Chris in whatever breaks we get."

Leo enters the bedroom in an elf outfit. "Cindy, do you have any of the white fake fur left?"

"Lots."

"Okay, Mattie's going to put the dress on, we'll agree alterations and I'll get it to you."

Mattie gives him a 'I will will I?' look.

'Unless you'd like to wear it as it is?'

'Not on your life!'

"We'll knock on your door when we're ready Chris."

"Okay. Thanks BMO dear, you can drop me from the call."

A tone plays.

"Cindy, do you have a sewing machine with you?"

There's a deep laugh, "Yeah, me, GJ."

"Okay James, who's doing the cutting?"

"Cindy."

"I'll bump templates ASAP! BMO drop the call please."

Mattie takes the dress from the bag and holds it close. "Frigging hell I've seen belts that give more coverage. Did you help design this?"

"No!"

"Sure?"

"No! I mean yes I'm sure, no I didn't design this. Or any part of it."

She glides up to Leo, "Ask Cindy to use a stitch that will be strong but easy enough to pick out. I can see you like it."

"Hmm?"

"Look down?"

"Oh balls."

"Haha. Close but incorrect. The side room with the pin height field and vacuum former, is it accessible?"

"All the doors to the side rooms are boarded over, health and safety, didn't you notice?"

"Nuts."

"You could get a small James elf to crawl through the air conditioning ducts?"

"Just to make you a box for your bits? I don't want you getting the Mums in a fluster but it's a bit OTT don't you think? There's got to be an easier way. And who decided you should wear heavy knit tights anyway?"

"They're not tights."

"Sure they are." she turns her back to him and slips out of her clothes, gets the small dress on. "Try and keep things under control, I'm not helping you out of a fix, we're running out of time." she turns, "Design. Fast."

"Um." he breathes out hard, "Design.. design.. design.. we unpick the fur around here.. put in a panel that joins around here.. put the fur trim back, attach a new skirt section here down to about.. here. Then add a second bit of fur at this height and third bit here."

"Can you picture it?"

"Yeah."

"Do share."

'Like this.'

"Too much fur."

"Then we cut your dress around the waist here.. add the skirt section from your Mum's dress, using the material from your one to add panels to the sides if it needs letting out a bit."

"That sounds better. It will be a one way alteration though."

Leo nods, "If you're happy I'm happy."

"Thanks Bunny."

"Slip it off and I'll get it to Cindy."

"Looking like that? No frigging way. Go put some trousers on first."

"They. Are. Not. Tights!"

"What are they then?"

"Part of a design that needs some adjustment."

"They're frigging tights just admit it Robin Hood!"

"Robin Hood?"

"A film I found Rachael, she wants to watch more comedy. Robin Hood, Men in Tights."

Leo frowns and searches over WiFi for relevant images. "Blast. Okay, they're tights."

[Chapter-35](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-35-2)


	35. Chapter 35

Leo walks arm in arm with Mattie through the factory floor. At the far end a mix of James elves and family were talking to some families that had arrived early. He lets out a sigh of relief, "Some made it through the snow then. Thank God. Danny would be devastated if this didn't work. Dress still feeling good?"

"Thanks Banny, yeah. How's things with you?"

"I've disabled a ton of sensors so I don't feel uncomfortable."

Chris turns around to see them both, "You look great, both of you."

"You too."

"I'd meant to ask you, how do the parents get hold of the gifts the kids ask for? They don't take them home with them do they?"

Leo grins, "Magic."

"What sort?"

"Diversion. Thanks to Douglas."

"Who?"

"A pilot friend. There's a petrol station on the way home both north and south from the estate. On leaving here kids will see their parents open the boot to the car, get them to take off their wet wellies. A parent will hold them while the other closes the boot. At the petrol station one will let them go into the shop for sweets or other treats, while they're in there an Angel will drop down and hand over the gifts."

"And if they're a single parent?"

"They've been asked to come with a friend, if that's not possible one of the team will help."

Chris steps into his special little place, smiles at his other helpers, "Everyone ready?"

They all nod.

"Let's get this party started!"

Day one was okay. There were plenty gaps in which Mattie could train Chris in a wide spectrum of technical subjects. And fill him with coffee to keep him awake. Sophie and the elf display team were wowing everyone with their routine. A1 reported an issue with the gift drops that was quickly resolved with the posting of a few James with signs.

By the end of day two Joe had fixed doors for five rooms, was on a roll. Attendance had risen eleven percent.

Day three went flat after ten thirty, only an hour and a half after they started. Horribly flat. Nobody knew why. Angels checked roads, none were blocked by snow or had accidents. The web site was good, their Internet links still up. Everything said they were open yet no more children came.

Astrid swung her legs back and forth, sat on the oversized rocking chair. "I'm bored."

Niska leaned into her and rest a head on her shoulder, "Me too."

Mattie flopped against Leo, "Me three."

Yasmin slumped into Fred, "Me four."

Fred laughed at the way they'd copied each other, smiled, "Me hungry. I smelt mince pies earlier. If no families want to show up and eat them I'll have a plate full."

Leo did a great impression of a salivating Homer, "Mince Pies."

Mattie chuckled, "Don't, I'm missing Bart. Want to grab a tray load Bunny?"

Leo jumps up and heads for the doorway, "Anything else?"

"Eggnog if Mia's made any."

Chris puts his hands high into the air and stretches, "You mentioned Bart before. Who's he?"

"My car. Smart car. As in AI smart not the two seater. Yellow paintwork."

"Ah, I see. Good car is it?"

"He's great. I'll introduce you later."

"Oh, right, that kind of AI smart."

As the women watch Leo's well toned bottom in tights leave the room Yasmin dares to ask the question that had been on her mind since they first met. "What's the lake got to do with a project?

Mattie doesn't break her gaze, thinking how her nickname abbreviation of Buns now had a new meaning. "Lots."

"Is that all you can say?"

"No. I can say loads more. But spoilers, we don't like spoilers."

They sit in silence for a few minutes. The only sound to be heard was from the reindeer, their servo's gently whining to move their heads about. Chris had surprised everyone when he'd asked for the music to be stopped.

Leo returns with Danny and two large trays.

"Hello gang, sorry it's gone dead. We still can't understand why."

Yasmin watches him pass glasses and plates around. "How have you been passing the time? As you're the founding member of DCL I'd expected you to be dressed up and making yourself seen. I'd hardly seen you the first two days."

"Sorry, I'd been at Sentinel House. That's where my home is and the only workshop I can use for the moment."

"What are you working on?"

"A new GPU and FPGA board for the VR server, I had a rooster of an idea pop into my head. It uses even better chips in a new way nobody else is doing yet. It will mean rebuilding the code from the ground up."

Chris sat as forward as he could, the fat suit belly making it hard to do so. "Rebuild from the ground up? You're scrapping the one you have here?"

"Yeah. People will need to archive and backup any virtual worlds they've built before I wipe the discs."

"WHAT? No!"

"Sorry?"

"You can't wipe her!"

Danny frowns, "Sorry? Did you say _Her_?"

"It, you can't wipe it! I'm.. I'm still learning things and really enjoying it. Let me finish all my training first please."

Mattie shrugs, "He has been doing really well."

"Okay. I'll delay a few days."

Chris sits back, "Thanks."

Mattie leans back and rests on her hands, "When we're all done here and the machines are up and running I was going to place an order for a second machine. You might as well sell me the current one as it is, get a new storage array in your new one."

"Why do you want to blow that sort of money on an old system?"

"Because it's still awesome."

A cold Sophie joins them, "I've given up on any more people coming today. The James elves are out there doing new stunts, if any kids do turn up can someone come find me?"

"Sure teeny."

The day ended with Chris in the VR system again, Mattie running some virtual lectures simulating being in Sentinel House's lecture hall.

"Thanks Mattie. Another good lesson. I bet the kids you teach come away with useful ideas buzzing around their heads. The way you layer knowledge is great, I wish my teachers had run lessons like this."

"We've hardly started. We're still on the basic foundations, many days to go yet."

"I've been chatting with Yasmin, if she was to have this old system could we continue training once we're both back home?"

"Haha, yes. A bit of a convert now are you? A little bird told me you thought VR headsets were silly."

"That's before I'd seen this."

"You've done great today, want half an hours play time while I go see Danny and Leo about tomorrow?"

"Sure, thanks."

[Chapter-36](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-36-2)


	36. Chapter 36

At the breakfast table Chris yawned through his nose. Thankfully nobody spotted it. He picked a bit of bacon off his plate and passed it down to Jack. "How about putting that monster of a heated blanket thing in the back behind our chairs? Jack and your other dogs can keep us company."

Mattie nodded, "I think they'd like that."

Chris gets up, "I'll see you all up there, finish your breakfast, come on Jack."

Up in his Grotto Chris finds Rachael sat looking at a phone. "Morning dear, how are you?"

"Wonderful Father, I've gone viral!"

"You've got a virus?"

"No silly! It means my photos are being shared around like a virus."

"Photos?"

"Toby said I could have one of his old phones so we both went to their home when Joe and Laura went to get tools."

"And?"

"Joe stopped for petrol, I got out to see what was in the shop. I've never been in one before. I've decided I like Jelly Babies. Lots of people wanted something they called a selfie with me and dragon."

"That was nice."

"Toby said they should tag them with Dragon Queen. He said it's a hashtag."

"What's that?"

Rachael turns the phone for him to see.

"Ah, the words run together. Is that number correct?"

"Views? Yes Father."

"You've had that many views?"

"Yes."

"And what's the hashtag thing for?"

"When people find a photo they like they can tap the hashtag, the app finds other photos with the same tag. Like this." she does so.

"How many photos were taken?"

"Lots! Mum's and Dads were wanting photos with me too."

He sits in his chair, adjusts his costume and brushes his beard, "Can we take a family photo?"

Rachael sits on his lap and holds the phone out like she'd seen so many children do, the other arm around Chris's shoulders, "Smile!"

Chris checks the photo, "Lovely, now what do you do?"

"Tap here and add hashtags."

"Plural? You can add more than one?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Dragon Queen. Then add Father Chrismast. Um.. DCL Santa's Grotto. Factory on Elster Estate. Um.. best toys on the planet. What else?"

"Real elves?"

"Nice. Add Awesome Ice Skating Show."

"And Rudolph. I think that will do. If we think of more we can add them in the next photo." she taps and the photo uploads. "Thank you Father."

"For what?"

"Saving me."

"Any decent person would have."

Her phone's notification window updates to say three people had like the image. Then another five.

"That was fast!"

"My followers."

"Followers?"

"People watching my account in the hope there will be more images."

"They watch their phones for more?"

"They get an alert to say I've uploaded one."

"They do? Wonderful!"

They're joined by the rest of the team.

Chris waves hands frantically, "Quick, a group photo before the first of the guests come in."

Astrid smiles glumly, "I could only see three family at the door."

"Turn that frown upside down and get in the photo young lady!"

Mattie watches over shoulders as Rachael tags the photo. "You've spelt Christmas wrong."

"I've spelt Chris Mast right."

"But he's.. never mind." The phone's notification centre keeps scrolling, the frequency of notifications getting higher and higher. "Oh my God. The teacher gets a lesson. That's what we needed, what looks like a typo. If people were searching Father Christmas we'd have been the needle in the giant haystack. With Chrismast we _are_ the haystack!"

Chris smiles, "Frigging awesome?"

"Yeah."

"And Dragon Queen Rachael here got their attention in the first place."

"Awesome, thanks Rachael. Every family gets a photo, Danny can you get one of the dye sublimation printers over from Sentinel? We can give them a print to take home and post it on Instagram, Facebook and the others."

"Sure. Do you think Max would let us borrow his dSLR?"

"Max would be happy with that. Why?"

Danny turns to see Max just outside the door, "Maxxie! Who's the lovely lady?"

Max steps closer, "Everyone, I'd like you to meet my friend Flash."

Their day four ended a bit better than day three, a small but steady stream of families coming to see Father Chrismast. A few people were coming primarily to see the Dragon Queen. One of the kids fathers had accidentally taken video at the petrol station, realised his mistake and taken a photo. He'd got around to posting both. Likes had gone crazy!

As they sat around the table for dinner Danny grinned, "Who's going to win the likes competition do you think? #FatherChrismast or #DragonQueen?"

Chris smiles at his daughter, "I really don't mind Danny. Are we doing a lesson tonight Mattie?"

"Sure."

[Chapter-37](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-37-2)


	37. Chapter 37

Day five Chris woke to loud banging on the new bedroom door. "Chris? Are you awake?"

The James must have been talking extremely loudly.

Chris jumps out of bed and wraps up, opens the door slightly, "I am now. What's wrong?"

"It's a Thursday.."

"Yes?"

"So a lot of parents should be at work."

"Yes. Unless they've taken the day off. Why?"

"The roads are all jammed up with people trying to get into the estate."

"What time is it?"

"08:02."

"My good lord! Are the others up?"

"They're getting ready, asked if we could open early."

"Certainly, I'll be up there ASAP!"

"Thank you, I'll let them know. My brothers are clearing the road to the hanger, we'll be using it for valet parking."

"BMO, shower on please!"

The queue was long, ran all the way down the steps. Mia got dressed up in a costume and started handing out mince pies and warm drinks. 'Can someone turn the oven on please, I'm going to have to bake many more. And I need an Angel to go shopping for ingredients.'

'A4 here, I'll do both.'

'Thank you.'

Everything had been going superbly until a woman started screaming at an elderly man. "Fuck off you Fagin! I heard him say it, don't deny it! Someone call the police!"

Mattie gets to the angry woman, "Hi, can you tell me what happened?"

"The boy said 'I'll take the ladies purse.' then I felt my bag being pulled! Then he told the man 'I don't like this one.' It's outrageous!"

"We'll deal with it, we have two members of the police with us. James, can you ask your brothers to review what they've been hearing and seeing?"

"Certainly Mattie."

"Mrs Claus."

"Certainly Mrs Mattie Claus."

Mattie rolls her eyes and shakes her head, "Can we go downstairs please?" she motions to the back of the factory.

"I'm not going anywhere." the old man turns to head for the doors.

A large James grins, "You might want to consider a different answer if you want your car from the hanger. What's the registration mark?"

"BD55FEX. Black Ford."

James nods, "The DVLA database says it was stolen six weeks ago."

"Shit."

"The registered owner is a lady. You're clearly not one. Start walking."

In the conference room they have Pete and Karen join them, the woman repeats her accusations.

"Come on then, show us the contents of your bag sir." Pete twitched his nose and shoves his glasses back up.

"Do you have a warrant?"

"No, but we can get one very fast and you'll spend extra time locked up for wasting police time. My partner Karen here is a synth, it's amazing how fast things can happen when it's all done online. Our record so far is twenty nine seconds. Want us to try and better that?" 

The man takes his bag off his shoulder and nervously puts it on the table, not once taking his eyes off the large James.

Karen opens the bag, "A curious taste in wallets you have sir, these look much more like ladies purses. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to a lawyer before speaking further."

The very young boy holds the man's face in both hands, "Grandpa, am I in trouble for taking all the ladies purses?"

"No boy, I am."

"Sorry Grandpa."

Mattie watches Pete move toward them, there was something about the way he held his right arm, something familiar. Odi. He held it like Odi when they'd first met. She'd seen him use it for all manor of things yet at rest that's how it stayed. She felt wrong, was hit by something from sensory data. A fragment of a memory. Large and detailed.

Pete was dead.

It was overwhelming. She ran from the room crying.

"Mattie?"

Karen finds her in the hall, sat on the floor against the wall. "Mattie? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Not here."

"I don't need to be a detective to see something is."

Mattie wipes her eyes on her palms, "It is, just not here."

"Then where?"

"Not in our world. Someone sent me a book. Maybe it is all a frigging messed up bad dream, an overactive imagination giving my worst nightmares airtime."

"And this dream felt real?"

"As does any other."

"What happened?"

"Odi deleted himself and Hester killed Helen and Pete."

"It's a bad dream, Odi and Pete are both fine. Who's Helen?"

"No idea, it's just fragments. It felt real. I've never seen you cry and look so grief stricken."

Karen frowns hard, "You'd seen me?"

"I must have followed Pete into the silo. There's no memory of getting there, just that I was, you'd been either side of a locked glass door."

"Do you know what Pete and I were doing there?"

Mattie shakes her head.

"What was the book you spoke of?"

"A Russian book, Alternate Realities and how to jump between them. James shredded and burnt it."

"Good. Not a word to Pete please, there's no point him worrying over something that hasn't happened. He's a bit of a worrier my Pete. Come on, up you get."

Karen gives Mattie a big smile, wraps her arms around her friend, "Erase those if you can, they didn't happen." with her chin on Mattie's shoulder and face unseen her smile fades and is replaced with an expression completely void of emotion. 

"Thanks Karen."

"I'll look at all the things stolen for our records and take him down to the station for charging."

"What about the boy?"

"His parents or Child Services will have to collect him."

"You're leaving him here?"

"No, I'll take them both to the station."

Mattie held Karen's arms, "Can you watch over me for a moment?"

"Sure."

Mattie gets on the floor and lies down.

"What are you doing?"

"A full wipe and reflash of all sensory and IO chips. Then crash reboot. With sensors out I'd slump and fall to the floor. My last backup update was only thirty minutes ago, you'll need to let me know why I was here."

Moments later the door opens. "Everything okay?"

Karen smiles beautifully, "Yes my love. Can you do me a favour and lay all the purses out for me to see?"

"One step ahead, it's already done."

"Thanks, I'll be back in soon."

"Anything I can help with?"

"Yes, find out if the boy has parents that can collect him from the station."

Pete takes a big drag on his vape, "Sure."

Karen just smiles warmly until he closes the door.

She looks at Mattie still resetting all sensors, the blank expression returns. She goes to full power and asks 'Has anyone found Hester yet?'

[Chapter-38](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-38-2)


	38. Chapter 38

The extended family sat and stood around the boardroom table.

Danny beamed, "Awesome work everyone! We have a new problem."

"Oh for frig's sake now what?"

"Stock. If the next nineteen days are like today we'll run out well before Christmas."

"Crap."

"So we need to dismantle some trees very carefully and move sintering machines."

"Where to?"

Joe puts a hand up slightly, "Spare bedrooms? Or.. minus two?"

Mattie does her are you sure face, "I thought everyone agreed that was off limits until the ice over the lake melted?"

"We need space. Or it sounds like some kids are going to go away very disappointed."

Yasmin's eyes were wide open, she'd been giving the lake a lot of thought. A hell of a lot of thought. "You lot live for films and take inspiration from them. If I said Nick Fury how far off would I be?"

"Frigging hell! Not off at all. There was a lot of shit going on when we started it. Or rather the James. Our world settled down before we finished but as we were eighty percent done.."

"Ninety."

"Mid eighties percent done maybe James, but it doesn't matter, we thought it best to finish."

"What exactly?"

"Dan, can we go downstairs?"

Danny looks confused. "Downstairs? It's still a construction site isn't it? George, what's it like down there at the moment?"

George shrugs and looks at Leo, "It could be like a swimming pool for all I know."

Danny shakes his head, "We'd have had all sorts of alarms go off."

"Add question mark enab equals F 7 1 E 5 to the camera access URL."

Danny and Leo exchange glances.

"You look mate, it's the Elster Estate."

"The DCL Factory."

"For frig's sake will _one_ of you do it? I don't mind which."

Leo closes his eyes, "Why doesn't this camera group show up in the main inventory George?"

"It will now. Danny didn't want them on general access."

"I didn't? Since when?"

"Since you asked me and got me to crash reboot you."

"Why _on earth_ would I do that?"

George looks at Danny with surprise, "Spoilers. What else?"

"For who?"

"You!"

"You're saying I locked myself out of my own system to see the results of something I've been working on?"

"YES!"

"I need my bloody head seeing to."

"You did. It was fine."

"Let's go then."

Danny looks around the room, "Will we all fit?"

"On the floor? Yes. In the project, no. That's three at a time only."

[Chapter-39](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-39-2)


	39. Chapter 39

With the last of the families leaving the following afternoon Danny joins the group, his face wet from tears. "Hi gang."

"Hi Danny, what's up?"

"Lots. My NASA RSS feed just pinged. Asteroid 217 Mors has unexpectedly changed direction. It's coming straight for us."

"The estate?"

"No, Earth. Ironically Buster Rhymes released an album this month 1 0 0 0 0 0 years ago named after what will happen. That number is in binary for you Chris."

All of the synths search at the same time, "Extinction Level Event?"

"Yes Fred."

"Frigging hell! How long have we got?"

"Until the night before Christmas Eve Mats."

"FUCK!"

"Exactly. I wish that book of yours hadn't been shredded now."

"If it was true maybe all realities get wiped out together?"

"Crap."

Niska looks worriedly into Astrid's eyes, "Our only hope is to send backups of everyone into space, a limited crew and build machines."

"Do you know how many tons they weigh? And all the raw materials?"

Leo's brow was creased heavily, "How about Mars, use the materials there instead?"

"Mars? We don't have the experience, technology or time. And the machines are the main weight."

Sophie has a hand up, it's being ignored.

Chris stands, "There's only one option available. Back up the fabs, get us all into space, far far away. When the synths can land somewhere they build tools to build better tools and circle around until they can build a build machine."

"Iterative tool making? Nice idea!"

"Thanks Danny."

Astrid slightly nervously raises a hand, "My name isn't that different to asteroid, a few vowels removed. George told me about the first Odi, Odin. A far simpler open body. Could simple synths be built to help make the tools for the next generation?"

"Brilliant idea Astrid! Thanks!"

She gives one of her small smiles, "Danke!"

"It still assumes we have a rocket Chris, Space X are saying all of their's are now full."

"Can't the flier help?"

"Only to the upper atmosphere, then there's nothing for the blades to push against."

Toby sticks a hand up, "Can we build a small shuttle, like in Elysium? It wouldn't have to be air tight if manned by synths, just something rough and ready?"

Niska gives him a stare, "We're just as susceptible to damage from vacuums as you fabs."

"Oh, sorry."

"But an open air cooled Odin wouldn't be mate, so nice ideas all of you."

A hand goes higher.

Danny nods towards her, "Sorry Soph, you have an idea?"

"Down not up, like the Terracotta Army. After a long hibernation the James wake and dig upwards?"

"Into what?"

"God only knows."

"Teeny's right. If we can't go up then down is our only frigging option. We've just got to hope whatever we build down there survives the impact on the surface."

Toby sticks his hands in his pockets, "Oh great Mats, we step out into a world like I Am Legend and start from nothing."

"You'd have to have a body built first you knob if you're just a backup.."

George looks glum, "There may be zero vegetation or animal life left. We'd need to pack good solar equipment, assuming the sky wasn't still full of volcanic ash and sun hidden."

Danny claps his hands, "Awesome, I'll write the script now, it's going to be a winner!"

Mattie looks like she'd been smacked, "Script?"

"Yeah, I'm getting myself on that Black List. Sod award winning TV, I'm going for a film."

Toby shrugs, "Not much point if an asteroid is going to wipe us out mate."

"Asteroid? What asteroid?"

It takes a second for the penny to drop, the message to sink in.

Mattie is the first to get it, "Danny you fucker! You've frigging asked for it!" she chases him from the grotto.

"You'll not get an Oscar for best actress if you don't let me write it!"

"Fucking come here and take a Hester style beating!"

"No way!"

Niska overtakes Mattie as they get to the steps, "I'll get him! Making me worry about my Astrid like that!"

Max overtakes them both, the master synth runner, "Not if I get him first."

"Max?"

"Can't you get a bit of dark humour?"

"Dark humour? That was more like encourage your friends to self delete in despair!"

Danny hits the lake edge and goes flying, face down across the ice. 'Nobody thought to search NASA feeds, confirm what I was saying. But you all searched for other stuff like Busta! Who's the muppet?'

"Don't give a frigging fuck!"

Max, Niska and Mattie are trying to reach Danny, slipping and sliding all over the place. They make futile attempts to get closer, look like the last camp mates on I'm A Celebrity trying to do Celebrity Cyclone.

Rachael glides past on skates, "Careful Mattie, you don't want to rip your dress, you'll need it tomorrow. Can I be a supporting actress if they don't want to be Danny?" she reaches down for his hand as she gets close.

"Sure!"

Rachael helps him get into a seated position, then skates in an arc to Mattie, Niska and Max, gets them on their bottoms. She skates away getting faster and faster, does a long turn and skates back, crouches down and does a fast shove of Danny towards the factory. "Anyone played curling?" she gets into a standing position and watches him sail across the ice. "No? Me neither." she circles away again, "Whoever gets closest is the winner!"

"Of what?"

"Fun!" Max gets a shove and she again circles around to do the next.

Niska grins, "With some careful buttock control I think I could do subtle steering."

Mattie frowns, "Buttocks?"

"You don't want to drag your feet like Max, that will slow you down, see?"

"Right. Okay, bump how you get on."

Niska gets a shove towards Danny.

She's half way before there's a laugh, 'You've got to clench _really_ hard! And balance well!'

Mattie does her best to turn around and face the right direction before she's given a shove. "Watch it Danny I'm coming for you!" 'Eh? Who the frig is that?'

A silver van was parked in front of the factory, a man stood with large camera on his shoulder. A lady held a microphone in both hands.

'Oh lordy!'

'Who are they Mattie?'

The cameraman had moved.

'From the logo I'd say Channel 4 News. Lucky escape Danny. You Die Another Day.'

'Brosnan? No thanks. I'm more Craig.'

Mattie bursts out laughing, "You're having a laugh! Your face to ice was more like Mr Bean!"

"It was rather, any blue anywhere?"

"A few scratch marks, no fluid."

"Who's won the hashtag challenge so far? I can't think of any other reason for them being here."

[Chapter-40](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-40-2)


	40. Chapter 40

They joked and laughed with the news team trying to play down their madness on the ice.

The woman flicked her hair back, "What do you call your game?"

Mattie leans towards the microphone, "Difficult! It need buns of steel and good balance."

"Does it have a name though?"

"Not yet. Maybe your viewers can suggest one? Best name wins a WWF toy of their choice."

"The four the Dragon Queen is holding in her Instagram post? We have viewers asking if the dragons are available."

Danny leans in, "Make it a _really_ good name and I'll make the winner a small dragon."

"That's very generous of you Mr Candlin."

"Call me Danny. Why not, it's almost Christmas!"

"I assume you're cashing in nicely with the toys?"

An angle, a metaphorical hidden knife to stab with revealed. Why did some reporters have to be like this. "Volumes are good, very good. NINETY percent of our profits are going to the WWF. That's not ninety to us like some charities I could mention."

Mattie wraps an arm around Danny to get closer, "So come see our Father Chrismast, the best Santa there is or Rachael our beautiful Dragon Queen."

"What's her dragon called?"

Mattie beckons Rachael over, "Have you named dragon yet?"

"Dragon."

'That's like calling you synthetic. Nothing more personal?'

'No.'

"If your viewers can suggest a name Rachael likes we'll reward it with a surprise prize."

"How should people enter?"

Rachael offers an answer, "Um.. Post a selfie on Instagram with the tag #DragonQueenNameCompetition and the name suggestion or tweet."

There's silence for a couple of seconds so Mattie fills it, "If you buy something you're helping the charity save endangered animals around the planet."

"Who get help from a lot of your MUS posted overseas. How much to you make from them?"

It was Niska's time to get close, "Nothing! Not a penny! They're from a battalion of volunteers who give up their time willingly."

"Can we meet your Santa?"

"If you turn your camera off."

"Why? We've seen the photos posted by families."

"Because if you want to see how truly nice he is you have to see him in person. Admission is free, you're under no obligation to buy anything. You'll get a mince pie and warm drink free too."

"What's in it for you if you're giving so much away?"

Mattie exchanges glances with Danny.

'You're Marketing Mattie, you say.'

"Better brand awareness for DCL, we want people to know where's here, that we're a nice company that truly cares about the environment. We have a world leading medical division too, have hospitals in a number of countries helping children and adults."

The lady turns to the cameraman, "You heard it from Doctor Matilda Elster-Hawkins herself. If you want to see the best Santa in the UK get to the Elster Estate. Your satnav or synth will know how to get you here. This is Channel 4 News, I'm Kirsty Donaldson, off to meet Santa." She waits to hear something back from the production team and pulls the earpiece out. "We're done. Steve says we can have the rest of the day off."

The cameraman nods, pulls his earpiece, "Which of us is the biggest kid?"

"You, normally. But I'm not the one that needs to put thousands of pounds of camera gear into the van. Last one in does the driving later!" with that she dashes for the steps, microphone still in hand.

The cameraman lowers the rig to his side, "Oi! That's not fair!"

Max pulls and slides open the door, "Allow me to help."

The man opens up an aluminium case, "It takes ages."

"May I?"

"Knock yourself out."

Max takes the rig and turns it around in his hands, taking in all the levers and thumb screws, looks at the shaped pockets in the foam. His hands move in a blur, the rig is disassembled and components stowed in seconds.

"Bloody hell! You're a synth?"

"I'm Max, pleased to meet you."

"I'm Laurence, likewise."

"You consider yourself a big kid?"

"The biggest. My mother says all I do is age not grow up."

"The let us win the race together."

"How?"

"I am an expert in running. And piggybacks. My brother Leo used to love them. He's your opposite. He now doesn't age but has grown up."

Kirsty feels the draft as she's overtaken before she fully takes in the message from her eyes, "That's cheating!"

"I don't recall you giving any rules, _driver_!"

Max slows to give her a chance.

"Don't let her win Max!"

"It's not an evenly matched race."

"Neither was it when she ran leaving me to pack the camera!"

"True." Max gets further ahead.

Inside the grotto a puffed out Kirsty finds Laurence already talking to Chris. "Give. Me. The keys. Then."

He holds onto them, "So you can do that Santa?"

"It's already being done."

"Great, Thanks." he slips them to Max.

Kirsty takes off her coat, was getting way too hot in the warm after all the running.

Chris smiles at the view, makes a note of something for later. "Hello my dear, what can Santa do for you?"

[Chapter-41](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-41-2)


	41. Chapter 41

Mattie thumped Danny in the shoulder hard, "You're a bigger knob than Toby some times Danny."

"Fair cop. Want to star in it?"

"As long as people don't confuse me with Lucy."

"We can ensure that won't happen."

"How?"

"A multitude of ways. We'll produce the whole thing in the VR system."

"A DCL Production? I thought you wanted it on the Black List?"

"Yeah, then as I was sliding across the lake scratching my face up on the grit someone's got on there I thought why give it to another producer? It won't look the way we want it. And you know Hola and Ems would be up for all the SFX."

Sophie did a twirl, "Can I do the choreography? For any movement."

"Sure."

Danny looked at Max, "How do you fancy learning cinematography? Laurence said he's made a few films."

"That would be nice. Would you like assistance making the screen play?"

"Sure."

Flash looks up at Max, "Is there something I can help with?"

Max smiled lovingly. "Chris and Yasmin love cheese sandwiches and we have no grazed knees, more importantly you know how to make pictures. I'm sure you can help with the look of the film."

Flash looks at Danny, "May I?"

"Sure, Emily's always sharing and getting others involved."

"Thank you." she links arms with Max and smiles sweetly.

A phew faces have a look of disgust. Chris had pulled off his boots. "Phew, sorry, they're humming a bit aren't they. Can we do the training early Mattie? I'd like a bit more play time."

"Yeah, why not. Dinner everyone?"

Astrid shakes her head, "I'll join you but I think I'm one mince pie from an.. how you say.. an explosion?"

In the conference room Astrid looks at the beautiful spread set out, "Do you always do the cooking Mia?"

"Tonight's banquet was prepared and cooked by my understudies Laura and Sophie." she gives the Hawkins women a wink.

"Wunderbar! I think I find space to fit a tiny bit in. Was ist das?" she leans in a points at a dish.

Sophie gets up a bit to see what she's pointing at, "Ah, that's our take on Sauerbraten."

Astrid's eyes pop, "You made this because I am here?"

Sophie does her little nods.

"I try and find a bit more space. Thank you!"

As they're all tucking in there's a light nock on the door.

Mattie rolls her eyes, "It's open! Literally!"

A James in his small elf body steps in, hat in hands, "Can I have a word please Daniel?"

Danny looked at the synth with curiosity, he was cowering. "What's happened now?"

James nervously feeds the rim of his hat from one hand to another so it circles. "We're low on chips for the WWF toys."

"Which one?"

"TC275."

"HOW? We had thousands!"

"An accident."

"What sort of accident?"

"The SMT reflow oven temperature sensor went bad. It wasn't heating enough."

"What happened to the boards that failed QC?"

"We binned them."

"When?"

"As they failed."

"And how long's that been going on?"

The elf looked down at his hat.

"James?"

"Three days."

"And nobody thought to halt production and find me?"

"You said nothing should get in the way of production, no excuses. Then hours later you said you were busy and not to disturb."

"Not never!"

"When would I know I can disturb if I'm not allowed to disturb you and ask?" James tried to make himself even smaller.

"Have the bin men been?"

There was a horrible noise from James as he made a fruitless attempt to get smaller still, his actuators and servos straining against end stops.

"So we've lost one days worth. I hate to think how many chips and other components we've lost. Crap."

"Sorry Danny." the hat rim did a few more laps.

"Don't worry. I'll take the blame for not saying how long to not disturb for. Can you get one of your bigger brothers to bring all the failed boards inside? We'll have to set up a desolder and clean gang."

"Mate? You're going to reuse parts?"

"Got a better idea Obi?"

"Na, but what if they go wrong?"

"We replace it under warranty as normal. And we can give them all a much longer soak test before packing. Go on Dobby, go work with a brother to get them out of the bins. I'll help set up a process to salvage the chips."

The elf walks backwards, bowing and feeding the hat rim again. He pulls the door too.

"Dobby? Who the frig called him Dobby?"

"Um, me. If he wasn't trying to look like that elf from Harry Potter what was he doing?"

Mattie frowns at her search results, "Dobby the House Elf? That's an _elf_? It looks nothing like our elves."

"True, but the way he moved was Dobby."

"Thanks for backing me up Jason."

Chris puts his knife and fork together, "Outstanding spread Sophie and Laura, I'm in need of a good soak before my lessons tonight, would you mind if I leave the table?"

Mattie takes a good sip of her wine and waves, makes a C shape, U then goes from five fingers to fist and back four times.

"Twenty minutes? Okay, Fred would you mind helping me with the suit?"

The evening finished in the usual way, Chris having a long talk with Fabienne, or rather Virtue in the role, before thinking about heading to bed.

As he and Mattie left the room Danny caught them, "Did you see the news Mats? They played our stuff in full, not a single edit!"

"Awesome! Got it recorded?"

"Have we? Of course.. thanks to Obi, come see."

Chris laughs at them messing about on the ice, takes in everything said. "Hospitals? I thought you just had the one?"

"Petits Anges? You must have heard us mention the place in France?"

"You did, I thought it was a hotel."

"It's a hotel that does surgery for children. All for free."

"Free?"

"Paid for by the Angel Foundation."

"Who are they?"

"Our charity division. The son of the fireman in the US is on the staff, as is the former owner of the hospital site, Samantha and her sisters. It's the top performer in terms of money raised with lowest admin overheads."

Chris runs his tongue around his teeth, stares at Mattie willing her to mind read.

"What?"

He opens his eyes wider.

"What Chris?"

"Ho ho ho is the same in French is it not?"

[Chapter-42](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-42-2)


	42. Chapter 42

Danny got a bedroom set up with enough equipment to recycle the chips. Dobby had been held up to the venting duct on the factory floor, given a screwdriver and told to signal when he'd been able to drop into the right room. He'd got instructions on how to get two of the false metal floor tiles up. In just the right location he'd avoid the floor mounted cable tray that had been installed two years ago, have just enough clearance to pull an SMT oven through. It had been nicknamed The Great Escape by David. Every synth that could work on the project did, dozens of charge cables snaked across the floor out to the nearest high power panel in the corridor as they got ready to make a mass of new toys.

An exhausting three weeks passed in a blur. Many thousands of families had visited, they'd extended their opening hours to see everyone as Chris didn't want it to become impersonal, a machine. He now stood by the lift at the end of the corridor, Mattie to his left, Yasmin to his right, two James elves behind them.

Yasmin leans forwards to see past him, "Thanks Mattie, it's a real honour."

"Just keep spanking you know who in you know what."

"Sure, but I think they're suspecting something."

"Why?"

"They've asked me to join them, I can't be in two places at once."

Chris smiles, "Sure you can."

"How?"

"Have Mattie back you up and stick you in the VR."

The lift bings.

"Let me sleep on it."

On minus the two elves get busy disconnecting the very large charge cables.

Yasmin looks up into the distance, the rectangle cut in the ice looked tiny. "It's so beautiful! Such a shame the others can't see it."

"They can, everyone's watching through me."

"It's called minus two, but it's far lower than that isn't it?"

"The equivalent of minus six probably."

The elves do a pressure check on the two small cargo holds, give a nod to Mattie and climb in behind the two rear seats.

Mattie takes the costume bag from Chris and passes it into the cockpit where it's squeezed between them. The pilots seat was in the middle, forward a few feet. Toby had suggested the layout, used in the McLaren F1 sports car, "Okay Chris, if you can get in on the right, Yazz, follow me in."

Strapped in Mattie starts preflight checks.

"How many times have you flown it?"

"In the VR simulator dozens of times. In here a couple. Pinch your noses and wiggle your jaws to help equalise the pressure, the systems about to run an air tightness check."

There's a hissing noise as air is pumped in.

"We're good. Systems all green. Here goes."

Above them a huge glass panel moves, lowers to close the large glass box. As soon as it's base had touched down water flooded in. The craft was buffeted by the water but stayed in place.

"This doesn't take long." Mattie presses another button and there's a whine as large electric motors spin up.

Yasmin grips the seat sides hard making her fingers go lighter. "Now's not a good time to say you can't swim."

"Don't panic."

The water quickly rises above the cockpit.

Mattie looks up, "Great, it's above us, no water alarms sounding, let's speed this up."

Another button is pushed and tons of water flood in shaking the craft. Mattie presses yet another button on the console, "Bart, how are you feeling?"

"Excited Mattie, we'll be making history."

"That's a frigging understatement! Shame nobody will see us in the darkness, probably just as well. Start the playlist buddy."

A track by Leftfield rings out.

"Nice HiFi Mattie!"

"Consumers would expect nothing less."

"You're making this available?"

"Hell yes!"

As John Lydon sings "Open Up" the top panel of the box slides back and Mattie releases the clamps. "Bart, if you could do the honours please."

The props on the drone car spin up and accelerate them towards the ice.

"Are you going to market it as a submarine or car?"

"Both for this deluxe model. The standard one will be air going only."

Yasmin grinned at Chris, "The technology curve is about to finish its long holiday."

"What a family. Mattie's father in law invents synths, now the family is about to give the world flying cars. And I've been alive to see both!"

Yasmin closes her eyes and sinks into the seat as they get closer to the ice. A split second later there's a scream from the propellers that quickly subsides.

"Shit! That didn't sound good!"

"Relax Yazz, it was just the props clearing the water, less to work against so the power makes them over spin."

The craft pitched and rolled a little while Bart compensated for the change from water to air flight.

Yasmin's fingers looked to be disappearing into the upholstery. "Are we okay?"

"Yeah, open your eyes or you'll miss the view of the estate."

Yasmin opened her eyes and gasped, they were already very high, accelerating fast. The illuminated lake was getting smaller and smaller.

"Elster ATC this is Flyer 1, we're clear and on our way."

"Roger Flyer 1, have a good flight! Good luck!"

Yasmin taps Mattie's leg with a foot, "What did he mean good luck? Hasn't this been tested?"

Mattie did a convincing lie, "He means with the kids."

"Oh. Okay. That's alright then."

Mattie was glad they'd got too far for the WiFi link, the sensor data connection had dropped, there'd be nobody telling her off.

Chris moved around as much as possible in the body hugging seat, took in the view and controls. "How does this have enough power to get us all the way there?"

"The wing."

"Where?"

"The body of the craft is one. With enough forward speed it provides a lot of its own lift, the props can spin much slower, save energy. You can't see it but the props have rotated ninety degrees. And the batteries are by Tesla, you can't beat a good Tesla battery"

"How long will it take us to get there?"

"Bart?"

"Another fifty eight minutes."

With the sun long set there wasn't much to see, Mattie told them about the family history; how Fred had been rescued, how they'd got bits from Maplin to make him a rucksack power pack, how Danny had made the first prototype charge coil, assisted by Joe, Toby and Sophie with her plasticine.

The stories of George, US Jimmy and others they'd helped fascinated Chris. "What was it like waking up in a synth body for the first time?"

"Freaky! Seriously frigging freaky. George had it the worst, having helped him through it helped me cope with mine."

"Would you go back, if you could?"

"Into a fab body?"

"Yes."

"Not now, no. I've gotten too used to life like this. It has some disadvantages but a ton of advantages. I can still feel, but also think in two ways."

"What do you mean?"

"I can think like a fab, have thoughts about how something tastes or smells, if I want I can think in pure machine code at insane speeds. That took a _shit ton_ of practice. And I'd probably not have been able to do it if I hadn't been a headcracker and gone to uni."

"What's it like?"

"It's hard to describe. Imagine being aware of each neuron in your head, being able to change the state of one under your own control."

"Incoming aircraft this is PA ATC, please identify."

"Hi James, Mattie in Flyer 1."

"You're early. We weren't expecting you for another ten minutes. Adding your call sign to the list."

"Good winds Bart says."

"There are a lot of children in the rose garden. I suggest you land at the front."

"Okay, see you shortly."

Yasmin tries to look down to see them, "They must be freezing."

"We installed underground heating and warm air blowers, it's a lovely spot to get some fresh air."

[Chapter-43](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-43-2)


	43. Chapter 43

Mattie unclipped her harness, "If kids are up we need Santa dressed and ready before we land."

Chris laughs, "In here? You couldn't swing even a hamster in here let alone a cat. And that fat suit is hard enough to wriggle into standing up."

Mattie rolls, "Yasmin, I'd not normally do this, can I sit on your lap?"

"If you won't crush me.."

"Cheeky cow! We're not like MUS, we're a similar weight."

".. or go all Niska and Astrid on me."

Chris chuckles, "Don't mind me, if you do want to get it on I'll be asking Bart to put on a loud track and looking the other way."

Mattie turns and slaps his arm, "Bad Santa! If I were old Emily that might be a possibility, but I'm not."

Yasmin frowns, "Emily's.."

"Was, a bit. Not fifty fifty. It's a long story but in short she had a wiring problem."

It takes a lot of effort to get the costume from behind the seats over the top and into the front.

"If you want me doing this next year I'll want a bigger seat. Or one that can expand sideways so I can sit down in the suit. Or we tell the kids I've given up the mince pies and shed the weight."

Mattie goes to play with Yasmin's hair as if it were Sophie's and stops herself just in time, "You'd do this again?"

"Hell yes!"

"Want to sign a contract?"

"Sure."

"Good."

"How about you playing Mrs Claus Yasmin?"

"If copy me can keep my gamers happy. I'm still getting my head around the idea of there being more than one me."

"It can get confusing. All the James. Leo and I in the Angels."

"They're you? Really you?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'll do it."

"Great! That will make you both eligible for DCL Health Care and a load of other benefits."

"Like what?"

Mattie reaches over and taps the dash, "Company cars for one."

"No way!"

"Yes way."

"Bloody hell! I'll sign up for life!"

"With DCL that's an eternity."

"Bring. It. On!"

"Frigging awesome! I meant to ask earlier, did Cindy make you a good dress?"

"A stunning dress. I've never worn a ball gown before. Will many people be coming to the party?"

"One or two." in her head she said the word hundred. No point spoiling the surprise.

"Close your eyes please ladies."

Mattie smirked, "You too Bart, internal cameras off. And you James and James."

"Done."

Chris wriggled like crazy, "Guess who forgot the talc." he huffs and puffs for minutes, finally turns to see the ladies. "Done too."

"Awesome. Bart, take us down, make sure the drive is totally clear."

"My three failsafes wouldn't allow it to lower props onto anything."

"Good. How's the charge levels?"

"We're good for the return trip, just."

"Just? Get James to drag out a power cable and top up. Right, everyone out."

They're welcomed by Eric, "Mattie! We weren't expecting you!"

"Hiya Eric, how's things?"

"Good, good, um we've had Santa give the children some gifts, but a number of them recognised me behind the fake beard."

"Oh."

Chris takes a sack of toys from Elf 1. "Not a problem, they're just in hospital, still smart. You were a stand in because Rudolph sprained his ankle, we didn't think I could make it, then DCL offered to help out with their new flying car."

Eric gives him a frown, "You look the part, who are you?"

"I'm Father Chrismast."

"Your real name is?"

"Chrismast. But you can call me Chris for short, or Santa."

Mattie beams, "It really is his name. No jokes, no name changes, no cotton wool beard."

Eric shrugs, "Formidable. This way Santa."

Yasmin and Chris are turning around, taking everything in.

"This place is a hospital? This is better than the best hotel I've ever stayed in."

"Thanks. What do you think Chris?"

"I'm a bit lost for words. How can you risk all of these collectables being on show?"

"The kids here need the treatment. They know that if anything gets stolen or damaged BMO will see it and their free treatment will stop."

"That's a bit harsh if there's an accident."

"You'd be surprised how much they value life. Way more than many adults. There's no running around and misbehaving except for outside where it's safe."

"What happens if someone tries to take one of those paintings?"

"See for yourself."

Chris starts to raise his hands to touch a frame.

"Chris please halt."

"BMO?"

"Hello."

"Are you the BMO at the factory?"

"Yes, I'm a clustered AI running across servers at all DCL managed sites."

"So I could ask you to turn on my shower at the factory?"

"It would be pointless, but yes. Unless you want to give James a shock?"

"James?"

"He's in the bathroom giving Jack a good rub down with a brush after their walk."

"Thank you BMO, no surprises please." he lowers his hands and steps back, picks up the sack. "Before we go any further, do you have any terminally ill children here Mattie?"

"Not at the moment, no."

"Good, because I'd been researching my role. Having to do what Eric Schmitt-Matzen did would truly break my heart."

"Who?"

"DON'T look him up now please, save it for when you're back. We don't want to spoil our time here."

For once Mattie went with the request and didn't sneak a look with a quick search. "Okay. Is he someone we should help with some charity donations?"

"I'd guess so."

"Noted. Let's start at room one."

Chris knocks lightly on the door.

Mattie knocks much harder, "You could set a brass band off behind these and not hear it."

They door opens slightly, "Yes? Oh, Mrs Elster-Hawkins, I didn't expect to see you."

"Hello Mrs Able, sorry to disturb you so late, is your son still awake?"

"He's just fallen asleep."

"Only the real Father Chrismast is here."

"Mummy! Is it true?"

The door is opened wide and Chris starts his routine.

[Chapter-44](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-44-2)


	44. Chapter 44

Chris climbs into the flyer, "That was so.. uplifting. I thought the grotto at the factory was good, but my lord, I'll live for those moments for ever more. Their little faces, priceless."

"Bart, get us up high enough so Chris can change unseen please."

Chris waves goodbye to the families that had been able to come out front.

"That was so good I want to cry with happiness."

"It was rather."

"On the subject of crying, delay searching for the thing I mentioned earlier until after the party, it will make you really cry."

"It's sad?"

"The saddest."

Mattie taps the console, "Bart, some cheery music please."

"Okay. I've been checking with the weather databases, our return flight will be half as long again and use up a lot of power, the winds have increased in strength."

"We've got enough though right?"

"If my calculations are correct."

"If.. I don't like if. We don't want to ditch in the English Channel."

"We'll clear the water, it's the flying over London that I'm worried about."

"Eyes closed for this last bit everyone please... worried. A car with feelings makes me feel safer. I think."

"I think too Chris. Using a DCL processing core."

Chris smiled, that wasn't quite what he'd meant. "If I were to have a synth body in the future, could I have two? One for December, one for the other eleven months? Not yet, when this fab body wants to give up."

"Um, I don't see why not. You'd be a first, but it's technically possible I guess. We've had one body two minds, why not the other way around?"

"Mattie?"

"Yes Bart?"

"I've done more calculations, less power will be used if I turn off all displays, the HiFi, lower the heating by a four degrees. With everything unnecessary off or turned down I'll have enough power."

"Okay."

Bart's displays dim and go off, "We should arrive soon after a quarter past one."

Chris yawns, "Sounds like an ideal moment to catch up on some sleep. Yasmin, want to use my Santa jacket as a blanket?"

"Please. I've been known to sleep talk, so sorry in advance if I start talking a lot about Fred."

"Same re me and Leo."

"And me and Virtue. I mean Fabienne."

Mattie bends awkwardly to look in his direction, watch his vital signs, "Your play date, how is she?"

"Sorry?"

"The reason you've been yawning, going back to the VR machine for chats when everyone else is asleep."

"You know?"

"I suspected. Then Leo found footage of you on the cameras. I checked the server logs, noticed a few tell tale signs that Verity hadn't left the system."

"She's calling herself Virtue now."

"When I last spoke to her she was using Fabienne."

"Really? When was that?"

"4AM this morning as you crept back into bed. You forget I can connect over WiFi, I don't need to be in the room like you."

"Sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes there is, I went behind your back."

"True. But you stuck with the training despite being worn out after full on days with the kids."

"Thanks."

"How you didn't lose your shit with that annoying four year old I'll never know."

"The shrill one that kept screaming?"

"Yeah. What were her parents thinking? It's as if they couldn't hear her."

"They couldn't."

"Sorry Yazz?"

"They couldn't hear her. They were both stone deaf."

"They could hear me fine."

"Lip reading, both of them. Fred told me about a boy in an accident, it got me thinking, neither of them reacted to a noise one of the James made. Every other parent jumped and turned."

"Frigging hell! She's probably frustrated at not being able to get her parents attention. Can you remember her name Chris?"

"Tabatha I think."

"Cool, I'll see if we can get in touch and do something to help."

"Implants?"

"If they want them. Lessons on signing would be a start."

"Can you?"

"Yeah, the twins learnt how to do it at a very early age. And by early I mean _really_ early."

"Where are they? I'd have thought they'd have been home with you for Christmas."

"They will be. Hopefully they're there now. They've been with Bing and Scarlett in America on holiday. They've had Thanksgiving, hopefully they can stomach another blow out Christmas lunch. Let's all get a nap."

"What the frig?"

Bart had put on Mattie's favourite NERO track and all the lights. "We're about to land. We've got five percent power left, lake or land?"

"Five should be fine, lake please."

"Lake it is. Elster Estate ATC I'm going for a quick cold bath."

"Haha Flyer 1, Rachael would like you. Elster Estate ATC out."

"James!"

"Hello Mattie."

"Have the kids arrived okay?"

"They have. You'll find them with Karen and Hester."

"Frig. The bitch is back."

[Chapter-45](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-45-2)


	45. Chapter 45

Coming back into the building was a lot slower than leaving. The glass box took a while to pump out.

"Good nap you two?"

Yasmin stretches, "Very good actually. The seats are really comfortable once you relax into them."

"And you Chris?"

"What the lady said."

"Cool. Merry Christmas both of you. This will take a little while, air's harder to pump in than water."

"I'm in no rush."

"Sure about that?"

"Yes."

"You're not itching to get into the VR system?"

"Well.. yes, but not so much it can't wait a while. Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"In most cases. Not in Hester's. She makes my fluid boil!"

A moment later Yasmin bursts out laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Spell Hester on a keyboard."

"Eh?"

"Do it."

"Bart, can you display a keyboard?"

"Sure."

"H E S T E R. So what?"

"Which keys are adjacent to the S?"

"W E A D Z? Weeds?"

"Good but not what I had in mind. Swap the S for one of the adjacent vowels."

"E for E doesn't make sense, so A. H E A T E R. Heater. Frigging hell that's brilliant! Heater Hester. Hester Heater. Boiler of fluid." Mattie gives Yasmine a high five. "That I _really_ like!"

Late morning Mattie is in one of the spare bedrooms with Leona, Matthew, Hester, Karen, Pete and Leo. "You can't deny it."

"What you are saying is absurd. No human can read the emotions of a synth." she pulls at the ropes holding her to the chair.

"Most can't, no. My children can. And they confirm you're a pathological liar."

"I meant no real harm with that water jet cutter."

Leona folds her arms, "Another false statement."

Hesta gives Karen a disgusted look, "Why did you come after me?"

"I had my reasons. You need to make a choice. Either you have the Hobb fix or we terminate you. You're like a rabid dog."

Hester looks to Leo for some support, it's not forthcoming.

"What is the Hobb fix?"

"Something on a DVD we had in a safe. A friend forked herself making a sacrificial copy, went through all the data and confirmed where the code was before terminating. We've crushed the laptop she was running in as a precaution. Would you like to go the same way?"

"No!"

Karen steps to the keyboard, "Fix it is then."

"That's inhumane!"

Karen smiles back, "We'd have to be human for it to be inhumane. Neither of us are." she hits return.

"Frigging hell Karen!"

"I'm sorry, you wanted to do that?"

"Um, yeah. It's done now."

Matthew gets close as Hester reboots, rests hands on knees as he drops down a little to bring his head onto the same level. "She's as mad as hell. But can't do anything about it."

"Good. Everyone start treating her really nice.."

"What!"

"Hopefully she'll learn that being nice is the better option. I'll ask Cindy if she can make her a dress."

"You want her at the party?"

"The best time to start something new is always right now. What's your favourite colour Hester?"

"Red. Human blood red."

"Wrong try again."

Hester sighs, "This is going to be the way things work?"

"Yes."

"Dark green."

"Nice, dark green and sparkly."

"No sparkles!"

"EXTRA SPARKLES! And I'll see if Fred can fit you with a food processor."

"I have no desire to eat like a human."

"You've not tasted Mia's cooking yet. You'll learn. It's to die for. Oops, bad choice of words."

"You'll violate me to fit a food processor.."

"It's a surgical procedure not rape for Pete's sake! Trust me, one day you'll thank us for it."

Karen smiles, "This is for Pete's sake."

[Chapter-46](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-46-2)


	46. Chapter 46

Chris was just about to change for the party when there's a nock on the door. "One moment!" he steps over and opens it wide. "Mia, you look absolutely gorgeous, what can I do for you?"

She steps up close and gives him a hug, head resting sideways on his shoulder. "Thank you. It's beautiful."

"Cindy does make stunning dresses."

"I meant the violin."

"Oh, that old thing."

"Is it antique?"

"From a friend in my village, I had to pull some strings to get him to open up shop and hand it to L1. No pun intended."

"It tuned perfectly, thank you. I've not had such a personal Christmas present before."

"You've not had presents before?"

"Jumpers, hats and scarves, but I could have opened Niska's and she mine and nobody would have known."

Chris returns the hug, rubs her back, "Glad Santa could help. I better get ready."

Mia stands straight and then leans in to kiss his cheek, "My inner child thanks you too."

He gives her a smile and wave as she steps to the lift.

With the door closed he checks the contents of the bag he'd received from GJ. "They've pushed the boat out for this party Jack, this isn't a one night throw away, it feels like the best cotton. He lifts the dress shirt and hangs it up. "Best silk for the suit too." in the bottom of the bag he finds a small box. "Cufflinks too?"

It's opened to reveal a pair of cufflinks in a holly and berry design, polished titanium with enameled inset. He looks at the back and squints. Copyright DCL, Holly-Anne. "Haha, how appropriate."

Chris stood in the shower in his tux, water off. "Thank you dear. I'd always wondered how difficult they were to tie. Great instructions."

"You're welcome."

"It's a shame you can't join us. You look stunning."

"I would have liked it, I'll wait for you to join me later."

"It's a date."

"Run along, don't keep the others waiting."

"2AM, I promise."

"Don't fix a time, you've not attended one of their parties yet."

"Okay. But see you I will."

"Go!"

"Okay!"

Virtue shakes her head, "I'll go first then. BMO thanks for doing the link up. We should have thought of this days ago."

Her image vanishes. Chris runs a hand over the blank screen, "Already counting down the minutes to VR play time. Thank you BMO."

In the bedroom he finds Rachael and Jack.

"Hello Father. He's had his walk, he's all ready for bed time."

"You look amazing."

"Thank you Father."

"You know you can say it softer, make is sound less formal."

"Thank you father."

"Has Satsuma had a polish? She's looking very shiny."

Rachael turned her head to smile at her dragon perched comfortably on her shoulder. "She has, James gave her a polish and wax, the same he uses on Bart he said."

"Which Bart?"

"Yellow Lexus."

"Right. It's really brought out her colours. What are others thinking of the name?"

"That I'm zany for picking it as the winner. It sounds a bit like a Japanese warrior name to me. But it's a fruit, I know. People tell me I'm funny. I like comedy, so that's fine."

He holds out an arm, "Shall we?"

"Shall we what father?"

"Go to the party. Take my arm."

"That would hurt."

"Not literally. Okay, a quick lesson, we'll switch roles. Stand like I did."

"Like this?"

"That's it. And I'd link like this."

"I see. Is it like being the lead in a dance?"

"That's it."

"Okay. I like Satsuma on the right."

"Not a problem."

In the corridor they find a James in a tux too, back to the lift watching the corridor.

"Hello James, has the party started?"

"I wouldn't know Chris, I'm guarding the rooms. In case a guest gets the wrong idea."

"Wrong idea?"

"You've met Silas's Sandra?"

"Yes?"

"She's not in her usual orange jump suit with the zip down to her belly."

Rachael frowns, "What is she in then?"

"You'll see. A dress inspired by a creation some pop star wore GJ says. I'd not call it a dress at all. Needless to say Silas loves it."

The lift doors open.

"See you later James."

"I doubt it."

"Get one of your brothers to swap with you later, you're all the same size."

"Good point, I may just do that."

Inside the lift Chris gives Rachael's arm a light squeeze, "I love this place. It will feel odd back home without all the Elsters, Hawkins and James about."

"Hopefully some of the synths you rescued can help fill the gap. Fred tells me his training with Fred has gone well."

"It has? Wonderful news."

[Chapter-47](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-47-2)


	47. Chapter 47

The lift doors open to reveal a mass of people.

"One or two she said! Look at them all! The small James all look to be in their elf outfits, I should have worn my Santa suit."

"Mattie says your beard and red bow tie will be enough, just as the other Santa was okay in just his braces. What did she mean by that? Wearing only braces he'd get very cold."

"Oh dear. I said not to search for it until after the party. She meant his normal clothes and Santa braces."

"I see. My mistake."

"Was she okay afterwards?"

"She said she emptied her tear tank."

"That's no surprise."

A small James approaches with a tray held high above his head, "Champagne?"

"Thank you James."

"Rachael?"

"I'm good thanks."

The elf James doesn't move. "Mattie says it's good for refilling the tear tanks."

"I don't have any."

"That's not what Fred said."

"What did Fred say?"

"You're a one of a kind, you should get the best mods."

"Which Fred said that?"

"Elster."

Rachael takes a glass, "Okay, if Mattie says it's good I trust her."

As they wander around the busy floor Rachael spots Mattie in her purple dress. "Chris, have you seen?"

"Stunning. Leo scrubs up nicely too, very smart. Who are they talking to?"

"I have no idea, sorry."

"I've been without a TV for a while. But that lady all in white, I recognise her, she must have had a synth conversion as she doesn't look any older than when I'd seen her last, what, eighteen years ago."

"She's a fab, drives a lovely white car that's been made electric."

"Is Fred giving her cosmetic surgery then as she's not aged."

"No, Mia's diet, exercise and a heat treatment."

The lady turns to see him, does pigeon steps with the fishtail of her dress restricting movement. "Mr December! Chris Mast! Well I never! The holy trinity on a bike it's good to see you!"

"You remember me?"

"Those eyes, sure." she turns to Rachael, "Has he swept you off your feet with his fireman's lift?"

"Yes."

"Lucky lady."

"I'm his daughter, he rescued me from a skip outside a smash club."

"Oh, sorry, daddy not sugar daddy." his hand is given a glance, "No ring? Surely someone snapped you up?"

"No, still single."

The lady turns and does a whistle with two fingers in her mouth, beckons for Mattie to join them.

"Mattie has he had you over his shoulder?"

"No?"

"He's had me. Fireman's Ball and Award Ceremony two thousand and..."

Chris frowns, "Fourteen."

"That was it! You got three awards if I remember correctly."

"Um.." Chris starts feeling uncomfortable.

"The man's a hero!"

"Really there's no need to.."

"Rubbish! There's every need.."

"No please, don't."

"Why?"

"That me has long gone."

Rachael steps forwards and turns to face him, "Has it Father? You still help people."

"Fireman me has gone, and with it some thing in the metaphorical smoke. Revisiting the memories is bitter sweet and.."

"When I said he had me, I meant over his shoulder in a demonstration, just so nobody gets the wrong ideas."

Rachael grinned, "He can still do it."

Laura beams, "Can you do it again, for old times sake? Do a lift and I'll pose like I'm back on Strictly."

"I don't think.."

"I'll make a charity donation for a photo."

Mattie throws her a look, "You will?"

"How's a grand?"

"How much Champagne have you had?"

"Nowhere near enough. And I've just confirmed a room downstairs, no driving home for me."

"Seriously? People on the DCL staff list don't need to pay."

"Ah who cares, it's for the charity. What do you say Santa?"

"Um.. if you'll keep quiet about the other things."

"They really make you that uncomfortable? Okay." she grabs his hand an shakes it wildly, "Now where's that sweet heart Max with his camera?"

Max took the official shot, a circle of guests all took some for themselves.

He was about to walk away when something occurred to him, "Excuse me everyone, do you all have social media?"

There's a sea of nods.

"When you post it can you all tag with #SantaLiftsLaura please? Thank you."

Chris gently lowers The Whitmore back to the floor, she'd held her pose for ages, "How was it for you?"

"Grand! And you?"

"An easy grand. You had quite the crowd."

"We had quite the crowd."

"I think the men had eyes for you. All the faces I could see were looking above me."

Laura pulls a pouty smile and makes her eyebrows jump up and down, "Good to know. There's some fine looking stallions here tonight."

"Single too?"

"At the moment."

Mattie and Rachael join them. "You got Tobs a bit flustered with that Whittier, apparently he'd dreamt of doing that years ago."

"I'd have let him had I known."

[Chapter-48](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-48-2)


	48. Chapter 48

Rachael turns as someone taps her on her shoulder. "Hello."

"Sorry to interrupt, I couldn't have a photo with you and Satsuma could I please?"

"Sure."

Max takes a shot of them both.

The man pulls a cheque book from his tux, "Old school I know but for a charity donation they'll take it. How much for an autograph?"

'What's an autograph Mattie?'

Mattie takes Rachael's hand, "I'm sure the answer will be yes Sir, stay right where you are. We'll be back ASAP."

In the lift Mattie describes an autograph, how it should be flamboyant. "I've got a pen and pad in our room, you can practice quickly."

"What would I write?"

"It's up to you."

"Can you give me a suggestion?"

"How about.. To their-name, love Rachael the Dragon Queen. Xx"

"Ex ex?"

"Two letter x."

"Why?"

"They're kisses."

"I see. Can you write an example?"

Mattie does so.

"You've emphasised the L, R, D and Q by making them much larger. Why?"

"It's just a style, have a play. There's plenty paper, experiment, make mistakes, try different ideas until you find something you like."

Slowly at first, then steadily faster and faster Rachael develops her own handwriting style. Influenced by Mattie's but with her own twist.

"Nice. Left handed too. You're ready."

Back in the lift Mattie wriggles and pulls her dress down. "It's riding up."

"Oh."

The lift bings.

The man they'd gone away to practice for was standing with his jacket off, cheque book in one hand, red Sharpie in the other.

"That's a bright pen."

"I wanted you to autograph the back of my shirt." he turns his back to the ladies and twists his neck hard to see Rachael, holds the pen up.

"Oh. I better scale up. Ready?"

"Ready."

"Wait wait wait!"

"Mattie?"

"He needs to pull the shirt very tight from the front or the pen might catch in a fold."

"What's your name sir?"

"John."

Rachael sees the cloth pulled tight and does a large autograph. "Since there's space.. And Satsuma. Xxx. There, done."

"Can someone take a photo of it for me please?"

Other men start to undress for autographs, some taking shirts off.

Rachael is getting a bit flustered, "Are they all built so well?"

"They're ... all fabs, spend hours in the gym like Jimmy by the looks of it. Have you met our Jimmy yet?"

"No."

"I'll introduce him and his wife."

A very toned young man with jet black hair and good tan offers a bicep, "If you can autograph my arm I'll have it inked. I'll match that other man's donation."

Twenty something autographs later Rachael bumps with Mattie, 'It's a good job I don't blush like a fab.'

'I'm sure George could design a mod for that. Until then you can pretend and fan your face with something.'

The group stroll towards the front, see Santa's hobbit hole had been turned into a selfie photo booth, party guests having photos taken in his big chair by a camera on a tripod. No Max in sight.

Chris watches a couple of young ladies sitting sideways in his chair, one facing left, the other right, legs up over the armrests. "Who's the photographer?"

"BMO. Danny's given her a WiFi camera he's wired up to Leo's dSLR HDMI out."

Chris raises his eyebrows. If BMO ever became fully awake she could cause havoc with lifts, doors. And the showers. Could she watch people with the screen off?

"More Champagne Santa?"

Chris looks down to where the voice had come from, "Thank you James. Don't mind if I do." the two ladies get off his chair and join their partners.

Chris sighs heavily, "I'll miss this place, it's a lovely party to end on Mattie, thanks so much."

"End! What do you mean end?"

"When I've recovered from this lovely Champagne tomorrow I'll be driving home."

"And miss _the party_ of the year?"

"This isn't it?"

"This is a warm up. The real party to be at is New Years' Eve."

"You've made us all so welcome but do.."

"Yes! YES! Hell yes! You'd like a few more days wouldn't you? Please say yes, we've got an awesome group of bands coming to play live. It wouldn't be the same without you all. And one of the band members want to see Rachael and Satsuma, you too. I can't say who as that would be a spoiler.."

"And you hate spoilers. "

"We do. If either of you aren't here they'll be so disappointed."

As lady with a lipstick in her hands stagers into Rachael, "Oops. Blasted heals, way too high. All those hunks getting your autograph for tattoos, you couldn't do one a bit different for me could you?"

Satsuma thinks the open lipstick is a toy to catch and lunges for it, just misses it.

"Blimey she's fast! Almost had my fingers."

"Don't worry, she's just after the red. Let me pass her to Santa a moment."

Chris gets his first hold of the dragon.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Put this on your lips then give me a swalk."

"A what?"

Mattie bump explains.

"Oh. And where should I place it?"

The woman pops a few buttons and points.

Rachael laughs, "If you don't mind being mentioned when I do standup comedy with Max."

Mattie bumped, high power, 'Sandra, you couldn't bring Silas over to Santa's chair could you? Only a lady's after some ink, I think she's had a few too many, traditional ink might be regretted very very soon.'

'On our way hun.'

Rachael gets instructions on applying a good coat of lipstick and kisses the woman on the chest. "That's the strangest request of the night so far."

"Thanks Dragon Queen, love you."

"You wanted me?"

Silas had arrived.

"Got a card for this lady Silas? She wants that swalk inked."

"Sure. Spray it with hairspray to protect it so it doesn't smudge. Here you go, we'll be open day after boxing day."

"Thanks doll."

The woman hands Mattie a folded set of bank notes, "See you on the 31st." she walks away, eyes half on where she was going, half on another guest.

Chris is doing his very best to block Sandra from his mind. Only his best wasn't proving to be good enough. A non-maskable interrupt Mattie had called it. Mattie must have given her some of the perfume, the smell of roses had jumped higher. Massively so. And her not a dress was practically not anything. The Empresses new clothes. It was a collection of diamante jewels on the finest of filaments, filaments that were practically invisible. The density of jewels changed to keep her decent, just. They certainly didn't leave anything to the imagination.

He felt suddenly awkward, aware that he was rude to be blanking her. "Enjoying the party Sandra?"

"I am thank you Chris. And yourself?"

"Very much."

"Do you like my jewels? Gem's Gems is starting a jewellery line."

"Ah! Is that why you're wearing it?"

Sandra turns her back to him, strikes a pose.

The back of the creation had a long narrow vertical rectangle of gold. Cut from the rectangle were the letters GEMS GEMS. All of the filaments attached around the edge.

"That explains everything." he looked at the ladies, wondered how he'd not noticed all the necklaces and chains being worn.

"You don't think I'd wear this just to be an exhibitionist did you?"

"Um.."

She spins around and kisses his cheek, "Santa knows me too well, no good girl gift again this year."

"I don't know, apart from keeping that zip low on your jump suits I've not had any _bad_ reports in from the helpers."

[Chapter-49](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-49-2)


	49. Chapter 49

"There you are!"

"Hi Teeny."

"What are you all doing out here?"

"Star gazing."

Mia turns to her, "It's not often you can see The Milky Way so well with the naked eye."

Sophie does her head tilt, "What do you think about it Hester?"

"It's surprisingly beautiful."

"Some of the guests need to go, they've got baby sitters back home. They're asking if the auction is happening."

"Frig. I've not been watching the time."

"You're a walking clock."

"It doesn't mean I'm checking it all the time. 01:46! Oops! Where's Danny?"

"Waiting patiently."

"We're coming. Bunny, can you be MC?"

"Sure Angel."

"Rachel, ready for the display?"

"I am. Are the lines up?"

Sophie nods, "All ready. Come on!"

In the middle of the hall Rachael is handed two more dragons by Danny. One green and yellow, one black and tan.

Leo had patched into the building's PA over WiFi, didn't need to wield a microphone. "Channel 4 News were kind enough to play our interview by the lake in full, one of Rachael's fans suggested the name Satsuma. Joni, come and watch your prize fly."

Chris watches a lady, possibly in her mid thirties, join Leo. There's a bit of private conversation and nodding.

"Joni's asked for black and tan, is going to name it Arthur Pendragon. A Merlin fan apparently and bit of a writer."

Rachael holds both arms out, the dragons do their finger back thing and haul themselves into the air while flapping wings. Lights flash as guests take photos and video of the toys doing their routine.

"The green and yellow dragon is yet to be named and will go to the highest bidder. They're very limited edition, only three to be made. Who'll start the bidding?"

Bidding had risen into the thousands quickly. The winner had been an eccentric old man who collected AI toys. He wore what looked like a ladies blouse, very tight aubergine coloured trousers and a odd shaped hat. He'd got one of most of DCL toys, said he wanted one that could go with him wherever he went.

Rachael had a photograph with him and Joni and wished them safe drives home.

Back towards the rear of the factory floor she stroked Rudolph and glanced at the group of men that were back in their shirts, trying to look cooler than each other. One had asked her for her phone number, others had quickly copied him.

'Mattie?'

'Yes Rachael?'

'What should I do?'

'About what?'

'These men.'

Mattie turned from Leo to look.

'They've not given up then.'

'No.'

'Do you want a partner? It's your choice, you don't have to have one.'

'I do but I don't. I want to know what it's like but not have to commit. I really really like James, just wish his usual body wasn't so big and heavy.'

'I can understand that. You're not marrying whoever, it's just a first date. Just go to dinner with them, talk. And don't feel at all pressured to get intimate.'

'Then I pick James.'

'I'l ask him to change.'

'Thanks Mattie. Now what should I do?'

'Go talk to them, find out what they all do.'

Fifteen minutes later, to the dot, the men that had all been looking macho and confident suddenly look less so. Rachael turned to follow their gaze.

"You made it!" she goes on tiptoe to reach his face as he bends a little and kisses him. A MUS standing properly with back uncompressed for transport was tall. Wide too. And heavy. She'd told the story about the warehouse, how X1 had come close to writing off Danny's Lexus seat and suspension the moment he sat in it. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend James."

"Hello gentlemen. Thanks for keeping Rachael company. Have you been enjoying the party?"

The bravest of the bunch pushes past the others, "Are you really her partner?"

"Yes."

"Only you look like you'd crush her."

Rachael recalls the breakfast jokes from weeks ago, thinks of a whity remark to make and opts to keep it to herself. These men were Mattie's friends or clients, or friends of there's. Best to keep it for the right time and place. "He's my gentle giant, he'd never do that."

"Sure?"

"Quite sure."

"You'd not rather he had a body like mine?"

"Are you looking to donate it?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Your body, can he have it?"

"No, I'm not done with it yet."

Another man steps to the front, "I know what you'd meant. Copy mine if you'd like. Just alter the face a little so everyone knows it's not me."

Rachael waves her hand at her face pretending to be getting a hot flush, "Why thank you kind sir, what's you're name?"

"James."

She turns to the MUS, "A nice coincidence, what do you think?"

"If you like it I like it." 'Danny, how much for a custom body please?'

'For who?'

'Me.'

'Where are you?'

'At the back, close to the lift.'

'On my way.'

[Chapter-50](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-50-2)


	50. Chapter 50

Chris had got to see Virtue shorty after three in the morning.

"Did you have a nice Christmas?"

"I did thanks. I got a few surprise gifts too. Did you have a nice day?"

"I did thanks."

"What did you do?"

"Some designing with the family. As I often do."

"Any new worlds?"

"No, just some things for this one, their real one."

Chris yawned, "Boy oh boy. Sorry, excuse me! It's been a long day and a very tiring few weeks. Fun though."

"Get to bed, ask BMO to patch me through to the TV in room, we can chat until you fall asleep."

"Thank you."

Sleep came within minutes. Virtue went back to enhancing designs she'd been working on, all the while listening to Chris and Jacks breathing. She liked the sound, mostly regular with the odd deeper breath once in a while. Patterns fascinated her. There were all sorts of mathematical ones she used in her designs, sometimes it was nice to have organic semi-random ones to play with. Grass for example looked like a carpet if the blades were cut to the same length and had the same rotation and angle. Seeding random number generators with data from nature helped her create things that the fabs accepted far more readily as natural.

Chris woke to soothing music playing at a low volume, Jack snuggled up against his legs.

"Morning boy, need a walk yet?"

Jack rolled onto his back and yawned.

"No? Okay."

Chris gets up to walk to the bathroom and sees a note slid under the door.

Dear guest,

Mattie, Laura, Emily and I have set out a buffet brunch. There's no set meal time today, help yourself whenever you are hungry. We hope you had a great time last night.

Love Mia x

"That's nice of them. Fancy some bacon Jack?"

Jack rolls the right way up and yawns again, shakes his tail vigorously.

"BMO, what time is it please?"

"Afternoon Chris, it's ten past one,"

"One! Shower on please! And audio only to Virtue if you could please."

"Sorry Chris, Virtue can't take calls at the moment, she's working on something with the family"

"Oh, okay. Can you get a message to her that I'll try again later this afternoon."

"Certainly."

He showered quickly, got dressed in his old clothes and opened the door, "Bacon?"

Jack didn't need to be asked twice.

They found the room empty, a few used plates neatly stacked on a tray at the end of the table. "Wow. What a selection! It looks like they've made some more unsalted bacon for you boy."

Two dishes, one with a label JACK, the other EVERYONE ELSE was a bit of a giveaway.

Jack got it very rarely, standard bacon was bad for a dogs health, it needed to be broiled first to get a lot of the fat out before being sliced and cooked in its own little remaining fat. He liked that Mia cared for the pets health too.

"It feels odd being plain old regular Chris Mast again. No false belly, no red suit. But like the chap in the US I think the beard can stay. I wonder if Cindy and GJ can make me something else to wear, these old rags are getting a bit thin in places."

Jack licked his plate clean and whacked his tail against a chair leg repeatedly to say he wanted more."

"Better not boy, you've got to keep that as a treat. Have some proper dog food."

Their meals over Chris goes to see Virtue but finds a Do Not Disturb sign taped to the door.

"Oh. That's a shame. Let me get my coat, we can go for a walk."

Upstairs they find the Christmas decorations all gone. The reindeer, fake trees and snow, the lights, all gone.

"It's as if they cancelled Christmas."

One of the James sweeping the floor turns to see him, "Not cancelled, relocated."

"Where?"

"The hanger."

"Why?"

"We need access to a few machines, we have an order to fulfil. Danny said if we're going to take down a tree and boards, move reindeer, we might as well do the lot."

"I'll get my coat, come on Jack."

Outside they find the grotto relocated, a large number of people on the ice. The rectangle that had been cut out for their flight had partially frozen over, was boarded over and roped off.

Inside what had been his room he finds a small queue of people waiting to get skates.

"Hello Chris, did you want to have a skate?"

"Yes please Jason."

"Sophie's on the ice if you need lessons."

"I think I'll be okay thanks."

"You've skated?"

"Somerset House every year for the past.. um.. thirty something years."

"Why didn't you say Sophie could have added you to her routine."

A young girl putting on skates nudges her mother and whispers, "It can't have been the real Santa, look."

Chris had heard it. "My dear, how do you think I get down chimneys?"

"Magic."

"Does anyone in your family wear those magic underwear things that pull all the lumps and bumps in?"

The girl nods.

"Well I'm wearing mine. I can't wear them in the grotto, I'd get so hot I'd melt. Out here it's cold enough."

She gives him a look that says she's not convinced.

"I'll go back in and take them off if you want proof. I have to wear three sets my belly is so huge. Did you like your lion cub present?"

The girl nods furiously, "Thanks Santa! He's LOVELY!"

The mother smiles, "Who but Santa would remember who got what, there were thousands and thousands of children visiting."

Chris nods, "And that was just the people who came here.. I visited many others on Christmas eve with help from Mrs Claus. Flying around is so much fun."

"Can you show me and mummy how to skate?"

"I'll see what I can do. Ready Mum?"

"I am Santa!"

[Chapter-51](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-51-2)


	51. Chapter 51

The four and a bit days that followed were slow and relaxing one moment, flying by in a blur the next. The family skated, Chris and Sophie helped kids of all ages learn how to skate. They watched films, designed things for Danny's movie, laughed plenty, ate and drank too much and slept. The reworked doors were perfect. Joe and a team of James took down all the panels in the corridor and properly sound proofed the inside of the walls. If there was a lot of loving going on it was all out of earshot.

Chris stood at the top of the long flight of steps, watched Sophie, Mattie, Toby and Holly-Anne skating with the quads. They were young, but boy could they move fast!

"One more night, that's all we've got Jack. Can I leave you with James, Yasmin and I need to have our backups done."

James kept his watchful eye on the ice, "From your tone of your voice you sound apprehensive. Worried about the backup?"

"No, it's not that. I've enjoyed being here so much I don't want it to end."

"It's not going to. You're just taking an eleven month holiday to recover before the madness starts again. I've been around this place for a good few years, I've seen how things work. Next year people will be traveling from further afield to get here and see Father Chrismast. The number of children will grow."

Chris turns to see him, "Not too much I hope, otherwise I'll only have seconds with each child."

James grins, "I have a solution for that."

"You do?"

"You're about to go for your backup."

"Yes?"

"Many Santa make light work."

"You're saying I should have copies?"

"Yes."

"And what do these copies do when not Santa in December? I don't think I'd like the idea of being switched off and put into storage."

James looks around, "My brothers and I are not all the same. Some of us have a thirst for knowledge. I listen to everything that's said. Everything. Doctor Elster-Hawkins could program a synth that worked like an appliance but could fool people it was you. There'd be no thoughts about being turned off, it wouldn't be thinking, just following a program."

"Nope, not cheating the kids. They get thinking me or nothing. I'll extend my hours if needed. And we need to come up with a better queue solution, allow the kids to go off and do something fun while they wait for their group to come up. Like ice skate with Sophie."

"It might not be cold enough next year."

Chris grinned, "If the family are smart enough to build the machine that gave you your nice new toned human like body I think they can work out how to do something simple like freeze the surface of a lake."

They watch some James loading pallets of materials onto a lorry.

"Your brothers never stop do they, they're always busy with something. Every day since Christmas day I've seen the loading lorries. Before that it was toy making, road clearing and a host of other tasks."

"Plastic being dumped into the oceans, poachers, big game hunters, people having accidents, I could go on, the list is long. So many things that don't stop for Christmas."

Rachael joined them and wrapped arms around her James. "Father, Yasmin is asking for you."

"I better not keep them waiting."

"We're going to watch the brothers build the stage for tonight. Mattie says there are four acts performing."

"Anyone I'd know?"

"I don't know father, I'd only heard the one album in the car. One Direction, Nero, The Human League and a chorus from New York City doing ABBA covers."

"ABBA! Wonderful! Everyone knows at least a couple of ABBA tracks."

"I don't."

"Let me get this backup done and we'll get some on that phone of yours and have a little party of our own before the main event."

Downstairs he found Yasmin in the VR room, Leo, George and Mattie waiting. "Sorry to keep you."

"Yasmin wanted you around when she had hers done."

"You're not worried are you dear?"

"A little. You've been my lucky charm for the last month and a bit."

"You didn't get any headaches when using the VR system did you?"

"No?"

"You'll be fine then I'm sure. It uses similar technology to allow the exoskeleton to predict your moves."

Mattie picks up the hand held blood pressure monitor, "We can read some vital signs just by looking at you, this will give us one that's more reliably taken with a dedicated tool. Any history of health issues in the family?"

Yasmin shakes her head, "None that I'm aware of."

"Good. You're heart rate is elevated as is your blood pressure. Try and relax."

"How!"

Chris sits and holds Yasmin's hand. "Try my technique. Close your eyes and imagine you're in a dimly lit room. Soft soothing music is playing.."

"What music?"

"Anything you like."

"Okay."

"In this room is a candle. You're sat close to it. When you breathe out the flame is gently pushed backwards, forwards when you breathe in. It dances in the the draft. Breathe slowly with long relaxed breaths."

Mattie watches as Yasmin's heart rate steadily falls. "I wish I'd know that when doing my finals at university."

"I was given it years ago. The station helped respond to a big factory fire, we fault it for thirty five hours straight. At one point we'd put a lot out, had advanced into the building only to have the areas we'd put out ignite again. At one point was seriously wondered if we'd get out, we were surrounded."

"And the person used a flame in the treatment?"

"A symbol of control. You move the candle flame, not it control your breathing."

Mattie takes Yasmin's blood pressure again, "Wow, amazing results. I'll pass this on to the team that took over my PTSD work, get them to pass it on to the patients."

"Please do."

"Pinch your arm Yazz. With your nails."

"Okay.. it's working. I could feel it, it didn't hurt."

"Good. Here's a painkiller cocktail for you Chris."

"I'm allergic to asprin."

"Oh."

George steps to the phone, "Let me call our Fred, get his thoughts."

Mattie places the helmet on Yasmin's head and does up the chin strap. "This won't take long at all."

George put down the phone, "No cocktail for you I'm afraid Chris. There's a derivative of asprin in the mix."

"Okay."

"Done. You can relax Yazz. Leo will confirm the backup is good."

"How?"

Leo types and reads, "You went to an all girl school that shared a sports field with an all boys school. In the summer you'd sit on the bank by the tennis courts with Sarah and Chloe and talk about your dream boyfriend. Your favourite colours are grass green and sky blue. Your first pet was called Goldie."

"No secrets can remain hidden with this system."

"Which is why your backup will now be encrypted. Want to put the helmet on Chris Angel?"

"Sure buns."

Yasmin turns briefly to see Leo, "Why do you call him that?"

Mattie looks at Leo for a second and smiles, unstraps the helmet. "Years ago we'd been out for a birthday dinner. Some punk pinched my car keys and legged it. Fred had fitted Leo with a contraption that let him generate power from movement, only his synth brain worked out how to dump power into it, give him a speed boost. He caught up with the lad and got my keys back. From that moment he was my Energiser Bunny."

"Oww, how sweet."

Mattie pulls the helmet from Yasmin and straps it on Chris, "I'd get doing your candle thing, see if it helps get you through the headache."

Chris grabbed the chair arm rests as the device tried to sync with his brain waves. Mattie's training had filled his head with many thousands of new facts. It was hurting, really really fucking hurting. His knuckles went white as he gripped the chair tight and tried not to move. In his head he was back in the middle of the factory, the whole building ablaze and every single flame under his control. They moved at his command, swaying back and forth.

And then it was over.

"Chris? How are you feeling?"

"Like I just breathed in and with that one breath suffocated every fire I'd ever fought ."

"Wow, powerful imagery."

"It feels like I just gained a super power."

George had got to the side of the chairs, "I don't know if you gained one or had it already, but you've certainly go one. Look at this Leo, Mattie."

Chris couldn't see it himself being in the chair. "What?"

"Frigging hell! You're able to do that at your age with a fab body? Fabulous!"

"Do what?"

"If you get up and check our your chair."

He does so. "You're saying I did that?"

"It was perfect a moment ago."

"That can't have been me. The arms are solid steel."

"I didn't see anyone else sit in it then, only you. Do it again."

Chris sits and tries to bend the arms more. "Nope, can't have been me."

"What were you thinking when you did it?"

"Flames. Lots of them."

"Put your mind back there."

He does so and breathes all the way out, giving the flames life once more. He grips the arms of the chair hard, there's a noise and sudden movement that makes him stop and look.

"Frigging hell!"

"What the lady said." Chris was looking at an armrest held in his hand, only his hand was a full two feet from where it should be, he'd ripped the thing from the chair. "Oops, sorry!"

"It's just a chair. Chris Mast. Santa and fire hulk! Rachael said you were strong but that's frigging amazing."

"I didn't go all red, big and monster looking did I?"

"No, you just looked extremely focused. Could you do that again?"

Mattie watched as Chris looked at the other arm wrest and focused. He frowned a little and focused again. Crack. It was broken.

"Yes. Although it's much much harder with my eyes open."

George had been looking at Chris's arms during the experiment, looked very puzzled. "If I'd been asked which would snap first, the chair or your tendons I wouldn't have picked the chair."

"Haha, thanks, I think."

"Would you mind carrying a donor card?"

"You want me organs?"

"Your whole body. When you're done with it of course."

Chris shrugs, "Sure, why not. If you'll excuse me I need to go and enlighten my daughter to the joys of ABBA."

"You like them too? Awesome!"

"Want to join us?"

"Lead the way!"

[Chapter-52](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-52-2)


	52. Chapter 52

Rachael was enjoying dancing, loving the music. She was now the Dancing Dragon Queen. "Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight, won't somebody help me chase the shadows away.."

Sophie laughs, "Gimme, gimme, gimme? You've already got one new James, how many do you want?"

"One is fine. Imagine what I could do with three."

"I hate to think.."

"One could brush my hair for me, another polish Satsuma, the third.. I'm sure I could think of something."

Mia stops miming to the words, "Get him to do the cooking?"

"Get him to make your clothes?"

"Frig Teeny!"

They all stop and turn to look at Mattie.

"What?"

"Costumes for tonight! Shit shit shit! How could I forget! My coord is back at home!"

"Can't we get Cindy to make some?"

"She's out with GJ talking to a supplier. Crap."

New man James resumes dancing, "Good job many of us share knowledge then."

"You know how to use his machine?"

"I do."

"What are we waiting for then?"

"Someone to say what it is you need. And to say please."

They were the first up onto the ground floor. All of the many build machines had been either pushed into one corner or moved into side rooms. A range of lights had been put up, they looked a lot like the lights from a cruise years ago. Mattie was looking up at them when a familiar voice broke the silence.

"Recognise them do you lassie?"

"COLIN!"

"Eye lass, couldn't miss this could I?"

"Awesome, they gave you the time off."

"No lass, I'm retired, haven't been onboard a ship for six months now."

"How d'you keep yourself busy?"

"Tinkering."

"Fancy tinkering with us at DCL?"

He reaches into his jacket, shows the corner of some folded paper, "Danny beat you to the idea. I'm onboard."

"Frigging A!" she gives him a big hug, "Where do you live?"

"As of tomorrow morning room 19 until I find somewhere local."

"Here?"

He smiles and nods."

"Cool! Have you heard from William and Clara?"

"Yes."

"When did you last talk?"

"Ten minutes ago, they're parking up and getting the buggy out."

"They've got a baby?"

"Newborn, an eighteen month old girl and two year old boy."

Mattie frowns at the numbers, "Eh?"

"Some home grown, one adopted."

"Ah! Good for them. Jeez, is it that long since we last saw them?"

A bunch of musicians carrying instruments enter the floor, a lady points and whispers to the man beside her. He walks over, "Doctor Elster-Hawkins, I'm Phil, I'm afraid I've got some bad news."

"What's wrong?"

"Our keyboard player's gone down with the vomiting bug. We'd hoped a friend could step in and help out, meet us here. Joanne just got a call from his wife, he's started too."

"Had any of you seen them in the last week?"

Phil turns to see the others, "Guys?"

They all shake heads.

Colin looks around the group, "Please say if you have, I've been on a ship that's passed around a nasty bug. Hundreds of people all ill isn't any fun."

They all volunteer when they'd seen either of the men.

"Nobody is lying."

Mattie turns to see, "Frigging hell Hesta! Nice abs!"

Hester looks at her stomach, "You think so?"

"Yeah. That really suits you."

Hester smiles ever so slightly.

"So you're not contagious, just need a stand in keyboard player, no biggie Phil." she gives him a knowing smile.

Susan doesn't look convinced, "No biggie? You have someone that knows all our songs?"

"No, not yet, but he will very soon."

"How soon?"

"Five to ten minutes? I've just spoken to my brother in law."

"When?"

"Just now."

"Before we arrived?"

"No, after you said you were a man down."

"But.."

Phil grins, "She's teasing you. She's a synth, a very special synth."

"Oh. I thought.."

"Born human, in your league, got a bit f'ed up in that nasty airplane crash, spent a load of years mostly dead, mind saved, got converted."

"OH! That sounds nasty."

"The crash, yeah. The new body I'm used to now."

Phil looks at the stage, "Can we set up then?"

"Sure."

Colin looks at his invite, whispers to Mattie, "That's Phil of The Human League?"

"Yeah."

"Gosh he looks different. Been out all night, I needed a bite, I thought I'd put a record on, I reached for the one with the ultra-modern label, and wondered where the light had gone. It had a futuristic cover, lifted straight from buck rogers. The record was so black it had to be a con, the autochanger switched as I filled my sandwich and futuristic sounds warbled off and on.."

"Bit of a fan are you?"

"Of their old stuff, yeah, I spent an absolute fortune on records in Woolworths when I was young."

[Chapter-53](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-53-2)


	53. Chapter 53

Danny fitted all of the kids with active protective ear covers so they could stay with parents until it was time for bed.

Rachael and New James had downloaded all of the lyrics and were acting out improvised routines to a lot of The Human League tracks, got Phil so distracted during Don't You Want Me he momentarily forgot his words.

Mattie had been a little surprised to see her parents go towards the front and slow dance to Human.

With an hour allocated to each act their set was over too soon for Colin. "I think I'm going to dig out a lot of old records tomorrow and revisit the past."

Leo pats him on the shoulder, "Sounds good, if you can't find any stream it via our service. It's all in lossless FLAC now."

"How much does that cost?"

"With that signature of your's on the contact, nothing."

Mattie went into crush meltdown at 1D opening their set with Hey Angel, Danny's 360 degree projector putting large black and white photos of her and Leo on the walls and ceiling. They kept to their fifth album Made in the A.M, ending with Perfect. Which by coincidence brought their set to a close right on time.

Rachael frowned as man after man took to the stage, all wearing the same white t-shirt. It had a slogan around a photograph of a woman's chest in a t-shirt. "Why is the text on the t-shirt laid out in that way James?"

"It's made to look a bit like a computer program."

"If you can't do one then you must do the other?"

"Yes."

Mia, Mattie, Sophie, Karen, Rachael, Cindy, Cynthia, Clara, Samantha, Niska, Astrid, Hester and a good number of other guests did a group routine when Mattie's friends from New York opened with Dancing Queen. It went down well with the vast majority of guests. Most of the people there knew the songs and sang along.

As they were doing a dance to Does Your Mother Know Hester slaps a guest in the face.

She looks panicked, "I'm so sorry! That was an accident. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay, I'd lost my rhythm, I should have stepped backwards not forwards."

"I think I better stop."

'Don't stop. It was an accident caused by her, she was behind you, you couldn't have known.'

'Thank you Mattie.'

No sooner had they finished Money, Money, Money Sasha speaks on behalf of the others, "Mattie and Cynthia met us in New York years ago. We did a cover of a cover of a song, Mattie gave us a recording she'd made. We were on the map before the meeting, marked with a nice big pin. When it hit the charts things went a little crazy, good crazy. That pin got replaced with a javelin! Mattie had hoped to see us perform it again in the states, sadly our schedules never aligned."

Mattie watched Timmy take centre stage. 'Stand by for a punch in the feels people, this is Wicked Game!'

'A punch in the feels?'

'Don't take it literally Hester. It means you'll feel a lot of emotion.'

Someone in the audience decided to turn on the LED light on their phone and hold it like a candle. Others soon followed their example setting Timmy off.

His voice trembled a little towards the end but he got there. A moment later lights started to vanish as the audience pocketed phones in order to give their cheers and rounds of applause.

Rachael had been standing with her men and turned to Chris, "Father, my face is leaking!"

Chris wiped a tear, "Join the club. That was hauntingly beautiful."

Chris could hear Mattie speak to Dan, Joe and Alana, they all agreed to put their set back half an hour to allow people to mingle and talk. He then overheard a conversation between her and Sasha, she'd overheard quite a few of the men being asked about the t-shirt photo and slogan. She'd not asked for them to do it, she loved them even more for it.

Then Mattie brought Timmy and Sasha over to Chris, introduced him as "Our Santa."

Chris knew he looked visibly upset, couldn't hide it.

Timmy gives him a sympathetic smile, "I know that look, I've seen it too many times before. You lost someone?"

"A young colleague who's name sounds like yours. Young Tommy Wrigth, was like a son, he died at the big chemical plant fire of 2017." he breathes in and blows out hard through slightly puckered lips, wipes a tear, "I didn't have much luck when it came to family."

Mattie rests a hand on his shoulder and gives it a slight shake, "You're part of our extended family now. Let me introduce you to some of the others before our last act starts."

[Chapter-54](http://markse.name/humans/CHRISMAST/Chapter-54-2)


	54. Chapter 54

Getting back home after just over a month with the Elsters and Hawkins, Chris and Rachael got a bit of a shock. A huge bit.

"Oh my good God!"

"Shit!"

"Where the FUCK is my house Chris!"

The bungalow had gone. Yasmin's house had gone. And the neighbour's house that had stood between them. There was a paved drive between them leading to a large double width garage.

"They can't just flatten someone's house because it's unoccupied!"

Rachael leans over to see, "What happened to your neighbour Mrs Jones? She didn't go anywhere did she?"

"No idea." Chris starts to turn the car around. "Maybe the developer made her an offer she couldn't refuse. I think a visit to the police station is in order."

Just as he's about to stomp the accelerator pedal Jack starts barking.

"What is it boy?"

"Bark!"

"What?" he looks in the rear view mirror, Jack was looking out of the back of the car. "Seen something boy?"

"Bark bark!"

Chris stops and turns in his seat, doesn't see anything. He opens the door and half gets out. "Oh my good lord! Yasmin, Fred, Rachael, James, everyone out!"

"Huh?"

"The houses are _ours_!"

"You what?"

"Either I'm hallucinating or that's Fabienne. A custom synth as the real one would be way older now."

Yasmin is out fast and resting an elbow on the car roof, "Virtue, your VR buddy?"

"That's her."

Yasmin runs to see her, gives her a peck on the cheek, asks a question.

Chris sees her being given a nod and watches her run to the garage. The door lifts up to reveal Flyer 2. "Oh my good lord!"

Yasmin races from there to her own house, "Who's got the keys?"

"Biometric locks. Touch the handle."

Yasmin frowns at Virtue and does as told, steps inside. A moment later she's back outside, "Chris! The VR system! It's in my front room! Holy shit!" she jumps up and down doing a squee noise.

Virtue beckons Chris over. "Hello."

"Hello Chris. Call me Virtue or Fabienne. Your neighbour is in a new house down the road."

"Who did all this?"

"The MUS Battalion."

"Why?"

"They thought your orphanage for synths should be bigger."

"Orphanage?"

"Father Chrismast and his helpers?"

"Ah! I see. When did they do it?"

"They started Boxing Day."

"Jeez I know they say many hands make light work.. but two houses this size in only a week?"

"Three, don't forget your neighbour."

He follows her inside and gets a tour. The house was far deeper front to back than the bungalow had been. In the new back room is a fully equipped workshop, a mass of charts on the wall.

"Wow!"

"Welcome home dear." she puts her arms around his neck and gives him a quick kiss.

Chris frowns.

"I'm sorry. Flash gave me some tips."

"Don't be. It was just unexpected." He wraps his arms around her and gives her a squeeze. "It was a bit of a shock seeing you. A nice one though. I thought I'd only see you again in the VR."

"I decided to come out. Fully out. Not fork."

"Will Yasmin be able to use the system?"

"If she forks."

"Aha! Very clever. Trading places."

They return to the front room and Chris notices a large flat OLED TV, taped to the glass was a note saying he had the full DCL streaming package. "Nice!"

Yasmin strolls in singing, "If you make sure you're connected, the writing's on the wall. But if your mind's neglected, stumble you might fall, stumble you might fall. I, ain't gonna go blind. Gonna get myself, I'm gonna get myself. I'm gonna GET MYSELF CONNECTED!"

"Haha, happy with your new toy?"

"According to the note taped to the machine you're looking at the new Head of DCL Online Gaming. How's that!"

"Brilliant!"

Chris gets to the TV, finds a cable with complex plug sat on a shelf underneath. "I wonder what went with that?"

Yasmin looks, "I've never seen one like that before. It looks like its got data pins and a significant power feed. Do you know Virtue?"

She shakes her head, "I've been through the whole house, nothing has a socket that would take that. And there was nothing designed with me that used anything remotely like it."

Yasmin looks at the blouse on Virtue, "Hay, wasn't that the top the news reporter wore?"

Chris starts going a bit red, "Um, yes. It stoked my fire so to speak."

"Chris Mast! I'd never had guessed. You've been such an angel and gentleman."

He looked at the sheer blouse, "Too thin?"

"Nah, just not expected. Gorgeous bra, one of Cindy's designs I'm guessing. I'll ask Rachael and James to stay at mine and help me and Fred out with things. Guess which beds are upstairs."

"The ones in the factory?"

"Yeah. Enjoy."

"Don't pressure me! I've only just said hello!"

Yasmin gets to the door and walks out backwards pulling the door closed, grinning like a kid who's eaten the whole bag of Rachael's jelly babies, "I can read you like a book Chris, you've dreamt of this moment for years. Go say hello properly to the new Mrs Claus. Even if it's just a damn good cuddle. Come with me Jack!" just as the door is closing she calls out, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"


End file.
